Articles tagged with: Jordan
Katie Price And Piers Morgan: A Perfect Reason To Blow Up Your TV!
There are some moves people will make to maintain credibility, and there are some moves which end up being quite misinformed. Can you guess which side Katie Price (or "Jordan" if you prefer her hooker name) being interviewed by Piers Morgan (or "Twat" if you prefer his real name) would fall into? But what if we throw in the fact that poor Katie broke down in tears during the interview, making out as if she were the victim to Peter Andre's evil ways? Then it would be secret option three: you're only hurting yourself and my god we wish Piers Morgan would just die.
There are some moves people will make to maintain credibility, and there are some moves which end up being quite misinformed. Can you guess which side Katie Price (or "Jordan" if you prefer her hooker name) being interviewed by Piers Morgan (or "Twat" if you prefer his real name) would fall into? But what if we throw in the fact that poor Katie broke down in tears during the interview, making out as if she were the victim to Peter Andre's evil ways? Then it would be secret option three: you're only hurting yourself and my god we wish Piers Morgan would just die.
Jordan & Peter Andre: Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah
It’s time to leave the country. Dynamite your house, pack your toothbrush and don’t forget to shoot your girlfriend on the way out. You’ll thank us for it later. Hecklerspray warned glamour model Jordan about the dangers of thinking, but she didn’t quite get it. Peter Andre didn’t get it either (for over four months) and went into Mediterranean exile after spotting his wife with a slew of horsey men.
It’s time to leave the country. Dynamite your house, pack your toothbrush and don’t forget to shoot your girlfriend on the way out. You’ll thank us for it later. Hecklerspray warned glamour model Jordan about the dangers of thinking, but she didn’t quite get it. Peter Andre didn’t get it either (for over four months) and went into Mediterranean exile after spotting his wife with a slew of horsey men.
Peter Andre Joins Elite Celebrity Group…
It was a great day for romantics when Peter Andre managed to croon his way into Jordan's sleeping bag out there in the Australian jungle. She was playing impossible-to-get, he was making up songs called Lady, Please, Just Let Me Touch Them, and singing them directly to her without once breaking eye contact. Their eventual marriage came as no surprise. And neither, unfortunately, has their split. Jordan has ruined many a great man along the way. So, Andre, once you've stopped crying, you will hopefully appreciate the great shoulders you are now rubbing alongside...
It was a great day for romantics when Peter Andre managed to croon his way into Jordan's sleeping bag out there in the Australian jungle. She was playing impossible-to-get, he was making up songs called Lady, Please, Just Let Me Touch Them, and singing them directly to her without once breaking eye contact. Their eventual marriage came as no surprise. And neither, unfortunately, has their split. Jordan has ruined many a great man along the way. So, Andre, once you've stopped crying, you will hopefully appreciate the great shoulders you are now rubbing alongside...
Building Your Own Jordan: The Model
Hecklerspray was saddened to hear of the Jordan/ Peter Andre relationship breaking up this week, even if it has allowed the opportunity to make jokes about a lovely pair and love splits, which was taken with relish. While feeling sorry that Peter Andre no longer has those pendulous breasts to put his head between and wave his head about while making speedboat noises, it occurred that we've never had that chance. And that makes us a little bit sad, although it does give us an excuse to pay Google Images a visit. After putting the tissues away (because we were crying over Junior growing up in a broken home), we set off to the supermarket to make our own credit crunch busting Jordan.
Hecklerspray was saddened to hear of the Jordan/ Peter Andre relationship breaking up this week, even if it has allowed the opportunity to make jokes about a lovely pair and love splits, which was taken with relish. While feeling sorry that Peter Andre no longer has those pendulous breasts to put his head between and wave his head about while making speedboat noises, it occurred that we've never had that chance. And that makes us a little bit sad, although it does give us an excuse to pay Google Images a visit. After putting the tissues away (because we were crying over Junior growing up in a broken home), we set off to the supermarket to make our own credit crunch busting Jordan.
Jordan Gets Rid Of Her Biggest Tit
Breasts-on-legs celebrity Jordan has split from her husband, tiny Australian Peter Andre. Form an orderly queue, gentlemen. Probably a queue where you're all naked and desperately trying to stop yourself doing a milky manwee before it's your turn. Fame. It's a funny thing. Some people achieve it by being blessed with good looks and acting skills. Some get there by using their beautiful voice and hedge-like eyebrows to charm the hearts of millions. And some stuff a load of jelly-filled bags into their boobies, then wander round thrusting the hilarious results down camera lenses.
Breasts-on-legs celebrity Jordan has split from her husband, tiny Australian Peter Andre. Form an orderly queue, gentlemen. Probably a queue where you're all naked and desperately trying to stop yourself doing a milky manwee before it's your turn. Fame. It's a funny thing. Some people achieve it by being blessed with good looks and acting skills. Some get there by using their beautiful voice and hedge-like eyebrows to charm the hearts of millions. And some stuff a load of jelly-filled bags into their boobies, then wander round thrusting the hilarious results down camera lenses.
Wait A Minute, Jordan THINKS?
Glamour model Katie Price (aka Jordan) announced on Tuesday that she doesn't 'think' her husband has been cheating on her. The former page 3 girl blamed her suspicions on PMT, claiming husband Peter Andre's unusual enthusiasm for the gym and adventurous sex was cause for concern. Well guess what Katie... nobody ever paid you to think. Here's further evidence that women create elaborate conspiracy out of absolutely nothing. It's a bit like cooking.
Glamour model Katie Price (aka Jordan) announced on Tuesday that she doesn't 'think' her husband has been cheating on her. The former page 3 girl blamed her suspicions on PMT, claiming husband Peter Andre's unusual enthusiasm for the gym and adventurous sex was cause for concern. Well guess what Katie... nobody ever paid you to think. Here's further evidence that women create elaborate conspiracy out of absolutely nothing. It's a bit like cooking.
WEBTHUMP! Monday 26 January 2009
10 - Hey Mickey Rourke, do this and we'll give the Oscar ourselves... 9 - 50 very evil women - Ugo 8 - A man has given lyrics to the music accompanying one specific level of the videogame adaptation of a forgotten cartoon on an obsolete system. Go crazy - YouTube 7 - Celebrities ...
GUEST BLOGGER: Jordan Wants To Bum Rapists
Introducing the first of our new squadron of guest-bloggers, Jamie Ross from the utterly wonderful cancerouscapers.blogspot.com... There are many things to admire about Jordan. After all, it can’t be easy looking after such massive tits - especially when one of them is Peter Andre. This is why that, when Jordan speaks, literally everyone in the world listens. Barack Obama’s inauguration held little significance for Jordan as she encounters frenzied crowds of millions almost everywhere she goes, chanting her name and hanging on to her every utterance.
Introducing the first of our new squadron of guest-bloggers, Jamie Ross from the utterly wonderful cancerouscapers.blogspot.com... There are many things to admire about Jordan. After all, it can’t be easy looking after such massive tits - especially when one of them is Peter Andre. This is why that, when Jordan speaks, literally everyone in the world listens. Barack Obama’s inauguration held little significance for Jordan as she encounters frenzied crowds of millions almost everywhere she goes, chanting her name and hanging on to her every utterance.
