Sarah Harding has ‘finally’ admitted she has had lip fillers, in a move that has left us feeling as violently disinterested as we are unshocked. But hey, we’ve got pages to fill and mouths to feed, so on we trudge with the inevitable succession of self-consciously acerbic and needlessly vitriolic words.
Thank Christ for thesauruses, that’s all we’ll say.
If you don’t know who Ms Harding is, she’s of some time girl-band-singing-about-love-machines fame (they mean their fannies) and oft time going-out-on-the-razzle-dazzle fame (drinking shitloads of Barcardi Breezers ? the half sugar ones, obvs ? and trying not to flash aforementioned fanny at the paps), or if you prefer, she was in Girls Aloud. So, what’s this about her plump lips?
Well, Harding admitted that:
“It's not something I'm going to be trying again, or anything I would recommend to anyone else. But yeah, around Christmas I got a little bit experimental and decided to have some fillers in my lips. Clearly that was a big mistake.”
Ah, celebs getting experimental. It’s an interesting move and one that begs the question, why would you decide to experiment on your FACE? By pumping some stuff into it that makes you look like the love child of Jordan and one of the Riddlers (who, rumour has it, is next on the hit list of the terrifying machine of tits and tabloid tales that is Katie Price)? Has the woman never heard of Lesley Ash (God rest her face)?
See Harding’s hilarious lips here.
We suggest that, in future, if the urge for experimentation creeps up on her again, like an unexpected pap who you could never reasonably expect to be lurking outside The Ivy or ChinaWhite as you elegantly stumble outside following an evening of delightful entertainment and hours spent powdering your nose, Sarah tries experimenting with her musical direction. By having some for example. Or simply by improving, if improvement on pure genius is even possible, on such lyrical brilliance as ?Let’s go, Eskimo, Out into the blue?. (Racist overtones there, but we won’t open up that can of toilet attendant-shaped worms just yet).
As the lady herself says:
‘I’ve always said I’ll try anything once, but I’ve definitely learned my lesson now.
‘I think it’s very easy to go too far.’
So much innuendo, so little point. You can simply imagine she’s referring to all sorts of grot there by using your very own brains.
You disgust us.
Right, we’re off to experiment with some pig fat from a Ginsters pork pie and a needle we found in the bathroom bin. Kim Kardishan arse cheeks here we come…
This was a guest post by Leah Kayles who can have you in a fight and you can read more of her obviously amazing words at SmellMyCheese
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