Nick Cannon And Mariah Carey Are Over

Mariah Carey Nick CannonSometimes the strangest couples last the longest.  Take the case of Supreme Diva, Mariah Carey, and That Guy From That Lame Talent Show, Nick Cannon.  They have managed to be married longer than about 85% of Hollywood and have had a relatively drama free relationship.

Seems that has all changed, and not only are these two separated, they are actually on their way to getting divorced.  I hope MiMi’s Hello Kitty collection will be safe from the impending battle.

Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda Video is Everything I Hoped For

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When Nicki Minaj released the most demure and glamorous cover art ever for her single, Anaconda, I automatically assumed that the accompanying video would also be the picture of grace and class. However, I was not prepared for what I watched today. 

The amount of ass that is in this video (not just Nicki’s!) makes even the beach episodes of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” look like fucking garbage. Just when you think you’ve had all the ass you can handle BAM! There’s more ass! Oh, and Drake is there, too, because why the fuck not?

Jessica Simpson Drank the Kardashian Koolaid

Kim Kardashian Jessica SImpsonWe have all known for many years that Jessica Simpson wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.  Her biggest asset has always been her gigantic rack, possibly her singing voice, but really not her brain. 

However, even I am a calling some “bullshit” on reports that Simpson is looking to get plastic surgery on a certain part of her anatomy to look like everyone’s favorite purveyor of golden showers and fame whoring.

Chris Martin Is Hooking Up With Jennifer Lawrence

Chris Martin and Jennifer LawrenceEver since Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin decided to “consciously uncouple,” I have been waiting for him to bring out his inner rock star slut and go on a groupie rampage.  You know dude has probably not felt the warm touch of a woman in many, many years.

Sadly, Martin doesn’t seem to be pulling a Gene Simmons, and instead is reportedly dating Jennifer Lawrence.  While this pairing doesn’t exactly make tons of sense to me, I do get a sick pleasure out of the thought that Gwyneth is crying into her white 9000 thread count organic Egyptian cotton sheets about it.

Jared Leto May Have Hooked Up With A Dude

Alexis ArquetteAlexis Arquette has held a special place in my heart ever since that bitch sashayed her way onto The Surreal Life almost a decade ago. She immediately owned that house with those on point eye brows and her quick temper that turned from demur lady into beat down beast dude real quick.

To be honest, I haven’t heard much from Alexis lately, but thanks to a new interview, she is back on top of my list of favorite celebrities.  Also, one I am now super jealous of thanks to her spilling the deets about banging a certain hot ass actor/singer.

Christina Aguilera Must Really Like Vagina Cleaners

Christina Aguilera Matt RutlerChristina Aguilera is basically the epitome of a classy lady.  From her Oompa Loompa skin care regiment, to her clown hooker lips, to her Clorox approved hair, Christina just screams “elegance.”

In keeping with that theme, Aguilera has decided to grace her newborn baby girl with a really special name.  As if her life wasn’t about to be hard enough with Christina as her mother.  You know bitch will be that embarrassing “cool” mom in the mini skirts, half in the bag, at the soccer games.

Your Daily Reminder That Miley Cyrus Does Drugs

miley-cyrus-tongue-4You guys remember that Miley Cyrus is, like, totally grown up now, right? You didn’t forget that people don’t stay fifteen forever? 

If you didn’t get the message the first twenty seven times she appeared in ganja-leaf patterned thong leotard humping a giant hotdog, Miley Cyrus’ Instagram account is here to remind you that’s she’s an edgy adult who does edgy adult things. Like decorating a five-foot bong with friendship bracelets and pompoms. 

Andrew Keegan Started His Own Religion

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Back in my day, when a celebrities career was washed up they just did a reality show or something, you know? Maybe wrote a tell all biography or open a restaurant. However, mega 90′s hunk, Andrew Keegan, has decided to try something totally new by..wait for it..starting his own religion.

Earlier this week it was revealed that, like L. Ron Hubbard before him, Keegan has decided to start a celebrity religion which he is calling Full Circle. However, unlike Hubbard’s Scientology, I could totally get behind Full Circle because I’ve already been a member of the Andrew Keegan cult for like twenty years.

The 12 Coolest Feminists in Hollywood

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Lately, there’s been a lot of talk in the media about feminism. First, there is this whole women who don’t think they need feminism shit, then we have a lot of idiot celebrities (sadly all female) who claim to not be feminists, nor do they understand what the word actually means (*cough* Katy Perry *cough*).

However, there are some badass celebs who proudly announce they’re lady love and pride, mostly recently Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who explained why he’s a feminist on “Ellen” (a clip that’s gone viral). Here are 12 super cool celebrities, like JGL, who happily wave their feminist flags.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Need to Just Stop

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Justin Bieber and Selana Gomez might be a stupid freakin thing again, because they hate me, they hate themselves, and they hate the world. Not to be a stereotypical white girl, but I just can’t with this shit right now. Not ever.

The 20-year-old born-again Christian that is Biebs (that sentence made me want to punch baby Jesus in his non-developed nads), and fucking idiot of the century, Selena, have apparently started dating again. Bieber even posted the above picture on Instagram, and then, in classic Bieber form, deleted it.