Someone Finally Calls Out Taylor Swift

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In case you don’t keep up on celebrity news and gossip as much as I obviously do, let me catch you up on the latest drama surrounded Taylor Swift. Taylor got herself into a bit of a Twitter rift with Nicki Minaj when Minaj called MTV on Twitter out for not nominating her video “Anaconda” for Video of the Year. Minaj said “If your video celebrates women with very slim bodies, you will be nominated for vid of the year.”

Well, Taylor took this as a jab at her video for “Bad Blood”, which is somehow nominated for Best Video. I am BAFFLED because the damn video is basically just four minutes of Taylor Swift listing off all her pretty and famous friends.

Cara Delevingne Likes Girls, Get Over It

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For about as long as Cara Delevingne has been super famous, she’s been primarily linked to women: Michelle Rodriguez, Kendall Jenner, and, her current girlfriend, singer St. Vincent. However, for some reason the world has some issue dealing with the fact that an attractive supermodel who could have her pick of men simply prefers women.

In fact, Rob Haskell, who interviewed Cara for her recent cover interview for Vogue magazine implied that Cara’s love of pussy was simply a phase. That’s right. We live in a world where it’s totally appropriate for a male interviewer to patronize a young woman’s sexuality mere moments after she’d been talking about how happy she is with her girlfriend.

50 Cent Wishes He Had 50 Cents

50 CentSad times have befallen rap superstar (like 10 years ago, amirite??) 50 Cent. His name, which was once just terribly dumb, is now terribly sad as he has officially filed for bankruptcy. That’s right: 50 cent is both his rap name and his bank account balance.

As my husband so eloquently put it “Maybe he shouldn’t have spent so much time in da club.” So true. 50 had been living his life like he was Puff Daddy or Jay Z. Sporting various fur coats, buying luxury cars, all of which that one hit he had in like 2003 could not pay for. He’s like the MC Hammer of the new generation. Just with less interesting pants.

Puff Daddy’s New Song is Fire. There, I said it.

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Back in the 90’s I fucking loved Puff Daddy. “All About the Benjamins (The Rock Remix)” is legit my forever jam. Maybe my favorite rap song of all time. Puffy and the fam (Lil’ Kim, Mase, The Lox) pretty much slayed back in the day, then Puffy changed his name to P. Diddy, then just Diddy, then Diddy Dirty Money, and I kind of just gave up on him.

He decided to make fancy booze drinks instead of rap music and basically everyone forgot he was ever a rapper. I assumed he’d never make a quality jam again, however, with the release of “Finna Get Loose” that has all changed.

Balmain Continues to Suck Up to the Kardashians

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In case you’re not familiar with Balmain, it’s a high fashion line worn by fancy rich bitches all over the world. The head of the Balmain fashion house is Olivier Rousteing, a man whose head is so far up the collective assholes of the Kardashian/Jenner clan that he basically breathes cheek fillers.

Aside from being inseparable besties with the whole crew, it also seems to be Olivier’s goal to feature all of them in Balmain ads. Last year he released a campaign starring Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, and yesterday he unveiled the above ad starring Kylie and Kendall Jenner.

Ronda Rousey Schools Floyd Mayweather

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This years ESPY Awards were great for both women and the LGBTQ community. The American women’s soccer team won best team, Caitlyn Jenner was honored with the Arthur Ashe Courage Award and gave a beautiful and touching speech about being transgender, and Ronda Rousey won, not only best female athlete, but best fighter overall.

Winning best fighter, she beat out a bunch of dudes, like Floyd Mayweather, who gets paid a bazillion dollars to beat up men, but will beat up his babymama for free. Ronda Rousey, being the boss bitch she is, did not let this fact go unknown.

SURPRISE: Bill Cosby is a Rapey Pervert

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This whole Bill Cosby rape scandal is like the gift that keeps on giving you the heebie jeebies. Like if your mom’s boyfriend gave you a porno for Christmas or something. Over the past week, it has come out that Bill not only confirmed getting drugs to give women for sex, but his wife has also defended him, saying the women CONSENTED to being drugged.

On a scale from 1 to STRAIGHT UP INSANE, I can’t think of many women who would be like “yeah, I’ll totally take some ‘ludes so you can fuck me while I’m unconscious. I totally consent to that!” All Cosby and his wife have done is confirm that the sweater king himself is a total rapey perv (shocker, I know).

Ariana Grande is an American Hating Donut Licker

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For what seems like a million years now, I’ve been saying that Ariana Grande is the FUCKING WORST, but now it’s pretty much officially, a.k.a. she’s been caught on camera being a rancid cunt. Ariana Grande was at a donut shop last week with her skeezy new back-up dancer boyfriend she was caught on camera spitting on donuts, licking donuts, and daring her bf to do it, too.

Then, just to be an extra special type of idiot, she announces that she hates America. We’ve heard rumors of Ariana pulling this dumb brat shit for a long time now, but thanks to our beloved TMZ, we can now witness Ariana being that rich bitch in high school that everyone hated and feared. She’s like a Bratz doll meets Regina George.

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are Dunzo

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I have to say, I’m legit surprised to announce that after nine years of being a total hot mess of a couple, Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick seem to have finally broken up for real. These two have broken up like a bazillion times because Scott is a drunken pill-popping mess and Kourtney basically only fucks him when she wants to have another baby, but they always got back together (they made good television).

But after pics surfaced over the 4th of July weekend of Scott being super couple-y in the South of France with celebrity stylist, Chloe Bartoli, along with pics of Scott in a hotel room surrounded by booze and pills, things seem to done FOR REAL with these two.

FINALLY: A Chumbawumba Documentary is Happening

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If you were a music lover in 1997, then you know that one of the greatest songs of all time is a little ditty called “Tubthumping” by The Beatles of the 90’s: Chumbawumba. Since it was released nearly 20 years ago, people have been wracking their brains wondering what the back story to such a jam could possibly be. Songs that good don’t just get written out of nowhere!

Well, our prayers have FINALLY been answered! Dunstan Bruce, a founding member of Chumbawumba, has started a Kickstarter to make “I Get Knocked Down (The Untold Story of Chumbawumba)”. Get out your bank cards, folks, because money CAN buy happiness!