Disturbing Man-Crumble Video Ahoy!
Quickly, what's the most distressing thing you can think of? Is it the sight of a man slowly crumbling to pieces - so that, at one point, he closely resembles
Sloth from
The Goonies - to the sound of a slowed-down version of
Pure Imagination from
Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory as performed by what appears to be a chain-smoking murderer with asthma? It is? Why that's just wonderful, because that's exactly what's in the video after the jump.
Don't worry, though - the video has a happy ending. Sort of. We think. We were too busy crying to notice...
When Hollywood Remakes Go RIGHT!
There’s something rather amazing about Nicolas Cage films. It’s not that he can’t act – although, seriously, we’re not sure that he can – it’s more that you simply don’t know whether you’re going to spend the last few moments of the credits shouting furiously at the screen and simulating over-the-top air rabbit punches, or hugging everyone else in the cinema, because you’ve just shared a moment together. A wonderful wonderful moment. A moment that could end in sex. High points in his career include:
Con Air, Wild at Heart, Leaving Las Vegas, The Rock, Vampire’s Kiss, and
Adaptation. Whilst crippling,
“let’s brick up this picture house!”, low points can be found after watching
Snake Eyes, World Trade Centre, Ghost Rider, or, especially,
The Wicker Man – a film which must surely rank as the worst remake of all time. There isn’t another actor on the planet capable of such a movie-going lottery. He’s either excellent, or shit. There is nothing in between.
Well, the good news filtering through the grapevine is that he’s magnificent in the upcoming remake of
Bad Lieutenant – which, remember, was a 1992 film, starring Harvey Keitel, about a really bad lieutenant. He was a horrible lieutenant in fact. They should really have called it
Horrible Lieutenant.
Anyway, with this great news singing in our ears, we thought we’d celebrate a cluster of remakes that were definitely better than the originals…