Justin Bieber’s New Neighbors Already Hate Him

Justin Bieber Whole FoodsJustin Bieber is really pushing hard to steal the title of “Worst Neighbor Ever” from the Kardashians.  He has gone from one home where he decided to reenact Homecoming Weekend 1991 on his neighbor’s $10,000 stone work, to a new apartment where he is just as quickly pissing everyone around him off. 

This weekend alone, he had a party chock full of leeches and trampy groupies on the rooftop of his apartment building that was so obnoxious and loud, the cops were called six times on him.  For a guy on probation, Bieber really likes to push his luck.

Brody Jenner Has a Half Chub for Kim Kardashian

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My second blog on Brody Jenner and Kim Kardashian in two weeks? It’s like I died and went to crappy reality television heaven. Speaking of which, recently on an episode of “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”, Brody, who, though he seems to hate Kris and ditched Kim’s wedding, still clings to them to remain relevant and on tv, admitted that step-sis Kim turned him on at least a little. 

While on a big ass family vacation (it’s a double entendre), Brody, who was only there to get a KUWTK pay cheque, “accidentally” walked in on Kris Jenner’s main source of income (aka Kim Kardashian without her clothes on). However, instead of running in horror, Brody enjoyed the view. I guess he hasn’t heard of the internet, because seeing Kim Kardashian naked only takes a Google search.

Lana Del Ray Wants To Be Ignored. Done!

Lana Del Ray Rolling StonesWhy the hell is Lana Del Ray famous anymore?  Bitch’s name sounds like it should be a 3rd rate catering hall on the water, and she is about as talented as one of those wedding singers you find on Craigslist, with the personality of a vegetable to boot.

Even more confusing is the fact that she seems to absolutely hate the fame.  According to a new interview, she doesn’t even want people to pay any attention to her music or her anymore.  Wish granted.

Lindsay Lohan Is Lying In London

Lindsay Lohan BBCSomeone in London doesn’t give a shit about their profession or  reputation, and so Lindsay Lohan was hired to be a part of the play revival of Speed-The-Plow.  Yes, for those who forget, Lohan at one point in time was an actress.

In case we all had no faith left in Lindsay, she’s now practically begging to fuck up by declaring how much she will NOT fuck up.  Sure, Lohan, like we’ve never heard that before.

The Top 10 Celebrity Sex Tapes of All Time

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Celebrities are filmed all the damn time: movies, tv shows, music videos, paparazzi; you’d think that when they’re home alone they’d like to have the cameras off them for a bit. Well, if you thought that you thought WRONG! Celebs are just like us regular folk sometimes and you know what regular folk love? Watching themselves bang.

I was trying to think of a new list to do, and my friend, Andrew, suggested celebrity sex tapes, and I’m pretty amazed I didn’t think of this before because I went through a few years where I was straight up obsessed with celebrity sex tapes (don’t you judge me). Though there are actually many, here are the top ten most memorable and worth having a watch.

Brody Jenner Gives a Big “Eff You” to Kim Kardashian

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Kim Kardashian and Brody Jenner are both giant reality television whores who die for playing out their “real” lives on camera, so, you’d think as step-brother and sister they’d get along just swimmingly. Well, apparently that’s not the case, as people have been assuming there was tension between them since Brody didn’t attend Kim’s over the top wedding to Kanye West in May.

However, Brody being the shameless whore he is, decided to one up his diss towards Kim. You see, even though he skipped his step-sister of 20 plus year’s wedding, he did manage to attend her ex-boyfriend, Reggie Bush’s, wedding this past weekend and post pics of it all over the internet. Check and mate.

Blake Lively Is Becoming The Poor Man’s Gwyneth Paltrow

blake livelyAre you ever faced with a problem and can’t help but think WWBLD? Of course you don’t, you’re normal. That’s why you didn’t even know that ‘BL’ stood for Blake Lively until you just read it. 

Although you probably guessed that from the title. Moving on. Following in the organic and responsibly sourced footsteps of Gwyneth Paltrow, Blake Lively is launching her own lifestyle website all about how to live like you are crapping money on a daily basis and are allergic to Ikea. Girl, this could be the kiss of death for your credibility.

Breaking News: Mariah Carey Loves Photoshop; Also, the Sky is Blue

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Sometimes I feel like the entire world has had a brain tumor for breakfast and has just lost their damn minds; today is one of those days, because today I read that people are shocked by how heavily photoshopped Mariah Carey’s photos in Wonderland magazine were. That’s right, people were shocked that a picture of Mariah Carey was more photoshop magic than real. Clearly they have not seen her most recent album covers (see above).

Being shocked that Mariah Carey only approves pictures of herself that are heavily photoshopped is like being shocked that Rihanna smokes weed; you’d have to be a fucking idiot to be surprised by either of those things. Yet, apparently she is getting a lot of backlash for what I consider to be some of her least photoshopped pictures in years.

Stupid People Are Attacking Steven Spielberg

Steven SpielbergThere has been a lot of uproar lately about the perky blonde teenager who makes every wrinkly balled 80 year old white Republican get an erection with her love for hunting.  The hate against her has gone way beyond just PETA. 

Someone decided to have a little fun at this girl’s expense, and they posted a picture of Steven Spielberg back on the set of Jurassic Park.  And some assholes are now waging war against him.  The internet is full of stupid, stupid people. 

A Bunch of Has-Beens Got Into A Fight At Paris Hilton’s Beach Rental

Paris Hilton Jeremy Jackson Brandon DavisRecently, Barron Hilton (Paris’ little brother) got his ass kicked at a party thanks to Lindsay Lohan.  Paris publicly defended her brother, and said they’d take out anyone who messed with the family.  It was weird to see the Hilton name headlined again, especially in a feud with Lohan.

Because 2003 is really looking to make a resurgence, the Hiltons are back in the news after Jeremy Jackson, another has-been who peaked over a decade ago, got his ass kicked at Paris’ rental home in Miami.  Brandon Davis is involved, so the story’s now also full of douchebag along with expired celebrity.