It’s no wonder Lindsay Lohan’s having trouble keeping off the hooch – having her parents would be enough to drive Mother Theresa to drink her liver to kingdom come.
The pair have been in a constant battle since their split in 2005, with Dina doing everything from accusing her ex-husband of beating her whilst off his tits on cocaine to a drunken interview with Dr Phil. In between his constant press releases bashing Dina and telling everyone that Lindsay is a mess, Michael even found the time to pen an open letter to his daughter in the form of a song. Like the Von Trapps, if The Sound Of Music was set in a trailer park rather than Austria.
The latest chapter in this never-ending saga involves a lie detector test, a reality TV show, and Dina refusing to pee in plastic cup.
Who knew that a little innocent muff-diving could lead to throat cancer? Well, it can, according to cancer survivor and oral sexpert, Michael Douglas. In an interview published yesterday by The Guardian, Dr. Michael explained that his life-threatening bout with cancer was not caused by a nasty habit like smoking, but by his selfless oral pleasuring of a female partner … specifically, eating out a chick with HPV.
Another day, another victim to add to Amanda Bynes’ increasingly less exclusive ‘ugly’ club. Former *NSYNC member Lance Bass questioned Amanda’s mental health and she was quick to unleash her wrath. 
The latest trailer for Machete Kills has hit the internet in a blaze of fire and exploding titties, and also looking a little like one of those fake movie trailers they played at the beginning of ‘Tropic Thunder’. 
If her recent Britain’s Got Talent performance is anything to go by, someone needs to give Jennifer Lopez’s bikini waxer a pat on the back.
Ke$ha’s ”Crazy Kids” video is set up for perfection: a catchy tune, the #1 crazy kid herself in booty shorts and gold teeth, a crowd of bearded chunkers dancing by a pool, and Will.I.Am’s disembodied, hologrammed head in an astronaut suit. 
This week on ‘Feuds You Didn’t Know Were Happening’, Kelly Osbourne calls out Lady Gaga for being a ‘great big hypocrite’. 
Break out the cake and balloon animals, because it’s time we all threw Gisele Bundchen a pity party. 
Eva Longoria has been in the news a lot in the last week for two quite divergent, yet equally significant events. First, she gave the world a nice view of her muff at the Cannes Film Festival over the weekend. 
…But sadly not for long. Amanda Bynes, everyone’s favourite unhinged child star was arrested and sent for psychiatric evaluation last night for smoking a big ol’ joint and throwing a bong out of a window.
