Oh Shit Chris Brown Is Someone’s Dad

Chris Brown DadWith all of his public outbursts, I kind of thought maybe Rihanna and Karrueche Tran were the only women dumb enough to put up with Chris Brown’s antics.  But nope, seems there is a “model” that decided to not only mess around with Brown, but to get stuck to him for life.

Yup, Chris Brown is now someone’s daddy.  I bet he is just going to be the most loving, supportive, involved father ever.  Joy.

Leo DiCaprio and Rihanna Stand Next To Each Other at Party


So, for a couple of months now, people have been speculating (myself included) that Leonardo Dicaprio and Rihanna have been grinding all up on each other. Up until now we’ve had basically no legit evidence that any of this shit was true, however, the TMZ God’s have finally smiled upon us and we NOW have proof that Leo and Rihanna…have attended the same party and have stood in the vicinity of each other.

The above pictures are allegedly from Rihanna’s 27th birthday party which Leo allegedly planned for her. I keep saying allegedly because how the fuck would I know? I don’t see Rihanna blowing out any candles and I didn’t see Leo hand pick the invitations and piñata, so how should I know if that’s what’s really going on? I’m not Miss Cleo.

Ryan Gosling is So Hipster He Got a Stick and Poke Tattoo

FAMEFLYNET - Ryan Gosling Leaves Breakfast In Los Feliz

Ryan Gosling is gorgeous and talented (“Drive” was one of the best films of the past decade IMO), but over the last couple of years he’s kinnnnda become more known for being a pretentious hipster making weird for weird’s sake movies than for his talent and amazing looks. Now that he’s a dad, he decided to pay tribute to his baby daughter in the most hipster way possible: a stick and poke tattoo of his daughter’s name on his knuckles. 

I used to think stick and poke’s were fun diy little gems, then the hipsters stole it, and few people in Hollywood right now are more hipster than Ryan Gosling (did you see the preview for that movie he directed?). The only approval I have for this tattoo (if it’s even real) is that it also happens to be my cat’s name, and my cat is an absolute treasure.

Shia LaBeouf’s New Look is Everything


Remember in the late 80’s/super early 90’s when it was really cool for a guy to have a rat’s tail hair do? Or in the rest of the 90’s when it was really cool for a guy to look like he barely showered or washed his clothes? Or in the early 2000’s when guys started to get their eyebrow pierced and that was the look? Ladies, do you miss these hot looks? Of course you do. Well, lucky for you one man has decided to bring them all back AT ONCE! And of course I’m talking about Shia LaBeouf.

It’s like Shia woke up and was like: Ok, do I want to look like I’m in a) a New Kids on the Block cover group, b) a Pearl Jam cover band, or c) an early years Linkin Park cover band? And then his eyebrowless girlfriend was like “Baby, why you don’t go for all three?” And he was like “Yes…yes!”

Kylie Jenner is More Grown Up Than I Am


I am a 28-year-old pregnant, married woman who owns her own home, yet somehow, Kim Kardashian’s youngest sister, Kylie Jenner, seems to have her grown up shit more together than I do. At a mere 17-years-old, Kylie is dating a single dad, has her own hair extension and clothing line, has been on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine, and has no purchased a $2.7 million mansion of her own. When I was 17 I didn’t even have my license and I worked at the Gap. So, ya know.

That’s right, as if Kylie Jenner wasn’t growing up fast enough, she just bought her own mansion down the street from her mom’s house. I guess Kylie is too good to quietly have mostly-clothed sex in her parents basement while her mom watches General Hospital upstairs like the rest of us did at 17. Bitch.

John Travolta was King of the Oscars Once Again


Last year, John Travolta, even though he wasn’t nominated for anything and hasn’t starred in a decent film in YEARS, stole the show at the Oscars by incorrectly introducing Idina Menzel as Adele Dazeem. It was everything. This year he decided to pull a round two of being the most awkward person at the Oscars and he once again NAILED it. 

John Travolta has officially turned into that weird older man at the bar who you met a few years ago and he was ok, but now he drinks way too much and maybe takes some sedatives and when you see him you really hope he doesn’t see you too, but he does, and he comes over and talks way too close and says your name wrong and touches you weird and you just feel sooooo uncomfortable. You know the type.

Tyga is a Really Terrible Liar


Another day, another blog about Tyga, a rapper whose music I am still completely unfamiliar with. What can I say? Every dick the Kardashian/Jenners touch turns into media gold! Anyway, if you haven’t been following the ongoing saga, Tyga has been receiving a ton of flack over the past few weeks for being a 25-year-old father allegedly dating a barely legal Kylie Jenner (she’s 17).

After both Drake and Amber Rose made fun of him for humping on the youngest spawn of Bruce and Kris, Tyga went on the Power 105 Breakfast Club radio show and said, and I quote: “I’m not dating Kylie. I just want to get that out [of] the way.” However, everything he has said and done since then in regards to Kylie completely contradicts that statement. So either Tyga is a really stupid liar, or a really, really, loving BFF to Kylie. We both know which one I’m going with.

This Amber Rose/Kardashian Feud Is Getting Heated

Kim Kardashian Kanye West Amber RoseSorry to sound like a super stereotypical 20-something white girl at Starbucks, but I literally can’t with this Amber Rose versus the K-world feud.  Just when I think the mic has been dropped and it will all be forgotten by the ADHD riddled world in a day or two, Kanye West gets involved. 

Amber Rose must be loving all this attention.  This is the third time this week we are writing about here her, and that has got to be some sort of record.  The only people we tend to write about so often are the Kardashians, and well, wait, they’re involved in this too.  Damnit Kim, you win again.

Still Dissin’ Kim K for Sex Tape is Kinda Sexist Bullsh*t


Unless you’ve been a) living under a rock, or b) aren’t a dumbass jerk wad like me who stays thoroughly up to date on all celebrity gossip, you’ve probably heard about the feud that Amber Rose has gotten herself into with the Kardashians. One of my fellow HecklerSpray bloggers just wrote about it, so you can easily catch yourself up. Though Amber’s feud has primarily been with Khloe, she brought Kim into it in a way that made me kind of SMH at her.

Even though it’s been like a million years since it’s release, people still feel a need to constantly bring up Kim Kardashian’s sex tape and claim that it’s the only reason her family is famous at all, which is essentially what Amber did. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love mocking the Kardashian’s, but even I think this is some sexist bullshit that has to stop.

Has Kristen Stewart Come Out Yet?


Kristen Stewart is a bit on an anomaly to me. For years, people have assumed she was a secret lesbian because of the way she dressed and presented herself, but I never thought much into that because myself and K. Stew have very similar styles and I too have been mistaken for a lesbian because of my love of plaid and Canadian tuxedos. For years, she was one half of the scarily popular couple, Robsten, with Robert Pattinson, but lately it seems like maybe all those lesbian theories were true.

Aside from the fact she cut her hair off short (an OBVIOUS sign of lesbianism….God I hope people get my sarcasm), K. Stew has an alleged girlfriend who she even holds hands with in public sometimes. So, maybe 2015 will be the year Kristen Stewart turns it all around and makes me like her?