Kim Kardashian Posts Some Weird and Narcissistic Crap on Instagram

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Ok, so I know that really isn’t much of a headline given the fact that Kim Kardashian posts some weird, narcissistic shit on Instagram basically every day, but recently she’s taken it to a whole new level.

Over the past few days, Kim has posted some pics, captions, and videos on Instagram that have convinced me that David Lynch is now in control of her Instagram because this is some Twin Peaks weird style shit.

Beyonce Is Being Sued By Foolish Mortals Who Should Know Better

beyonceHave you ever been so annoyed you missed out on a Beyonce concert that you sued her, her concert promoter, and the stadium it was held in?

Two women are suing Queen Bey and everyone she’s ever come into contact with after a fan stampede outside her Chicago concert left them needing a hospital visit. That’s a bad day in anyone’s books, but it also meant that they missed their chance to breathe in the same air as Beyonce, and now the women are out for blood. Or its cash value, anyway.

 

50 Shades of Cray: Farrah Abraham’s Erotic Novel is Coming Soon

farrah-abraham-novelI would like to point out that I typically strongly oppose the use of the word “cray” instead of just saying “crazy”, but in this case I found that it worked well. ANYWAY, in case you needed a reason to throw up in your mouth today: Farrah Abraham is releasing an erotic novel called “Celebrity Sex Tape In The Making.” 

It’s good to know that once your reality television, porn, and singing career fail miserably there is always erotic fiction. I don’t know who or what the fuck Ellora’s Cave is and frankly I’m not sure I want to know.

Woman Famous for Getting Naked Thinks Miley is a Great Role Model

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Kendra Wilkinson is famous for three reasons: 1) Back when she was in her early 20s she was riding Hugh Hefner’s 80-year-old dick, 2) Home girl loves being naked, and 3) She did all this on the reality show (and my guilty pleasure), “The Girls Next Door”. Well, it appears that aside from being naked, Kendra also loves Miley Cyrus.

In a new interview, Kendra claims that she thinks Miley is a great role model for her young daughter. I’m sure a lot of people will say “Of course this bitch thinks Miley is a good role model, given the fact that she used to be a stripper and hump on old dudes for a living.” However, I don’t feel that way at all, as I fucking love Kendra Wilkinson.

James Franco Likes ‘Em Young

James Franco InstagramJames Franco doesn’t strike me as the type of guy to troll the World Wide Web looking for booty calls.  He seems more the type to go to some hipster café, order the most pretentious frappe-macchiato-ginseng herbal tea on the menu, and attempt to impress a chick by quoting boring crappy “poetry” from some new age Icelandic homeless savant. 

But I was wrong, and like an overweight 50 year old man living in his mother’s basement, Franco chose to find love on the internet. Except he went for Instagram because looks > personality.  And it seems he likes to really tread the moral line when it comes to the age of the girls he goes after.

Michelle and Cara Officially Make All My Lesbian Fantasies Come True

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I consider myself straight enough, I mean, I’m marrying a dude, but something about this whole Michelle Rodriguez and Cara Delevingne coupling thing is really making me question my sexuality. Sexy lesbians who are equal parts masculine and feminine and also dress like me making out all over the world? I’m into it.

If there were any doubts if they were a couple before (were there doubts?) I think these two have officially put those doubts to rest by showing off some genuine (AND TOPLESS) lady-love in Mexico.

Leann Rimes vs. Brandi Glanville on Twitter: The Sad Saga Continues

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Usually, there is nothing I like better more than a couple of hot messes fighting with each other over some douche bag. It’s amazing I didn’t like “The Hills” or “Laguna Beach more”, actually. However, this seventh grade Twitter war between Brandi Glanville and Leann Rimes is making me roll my eyes so much I look like I’m fucking possessed.

So Brandi was in New York with her kids, when suddenly her son with M-List Casanova, Eddie Cibrian, got sick and had to go to the emergency room. And, like any good mother, Brandi felt the need to live Tweet the damn thing and take some pics. OF COURSE SHE DID. However, this didn’t sit too well with Eddie’s current insecure, insane main bang piece, Leann Rimes. But not for the reasons you might think.

Chelsea Handler Says “It’s Not You, It’s Me” To E!

Chelsea HandlerAfter 8 years of hosting Chelsea Lately on the E! Network, Chelsea Handler has decided to leave at the end of the year when her contract is up.  This really isn’t a huge a surprise since Handler hasn’t really been hiding her contempt of them lately.

It’s hard to pretend you’re happy working for the jerks who brought us all the Kardashians, even if you are making millions of dollars a year, unless you are Ryan Seacrest.  I guess once you stop banging the president of the network, you lose that loyalty feeling to the people who basically gave you all your fame.

Now This Is A Royal Wedding- Sir Elton John Is Getting Married

Elton John David FurnishElton John has been with his partner, David Furnish, for over 20 years.  In famous people time, that is basically forever and a day.  Back in 2005 they were legally recognized as civil partners in the United Kingdom and quickly got on the ball to start having babies.

But now the U.K has finally started catching up with the times and has made gay marriage legal, so John and Furnish are running to the altar so they can finally become husband and husband in the eyes of the law.  It’s going to be faaaabulous.

Zac Efron’s Beautiful Face Was Bruised By A Homeless Mob

Zac EfronZac Efron has had it rough the last year or so.  He struggled with a drug problem, went to rehab a few times, still hasn’t become a legitimate actor.  When the world found out he banged Lindsay Lohan, it seemed like the lowest point had finally arrived.

But now Efron has gotten his ass kicked by a group of homeless men down in Skid Row.  Getting your money maker smashed by a bunch of dudes covered in piss and rat poop in the middle of crack central is something even the hottest of Hollywood messes haven’t had occur to them.  Oh poor Zacy poo.