Jennifer Aniston Forgets About Her Own Nosejob

jennifer anistonLike a bad made-for-TV movie, Jennifer Aniston is an ordinary woman who woke up one morning to find she couldn’t remember a single thing that happened to her in the early nineties. 

Anyone who’ s seen Leprechaun is probably wondering how in the name of Miley Cyrus’ front wedgie can that ever be a bad thing, but it does help to have a working memory of your own face if a reporter ever happens to ask you about your attitude to plastic surgery.

Justin Bieber Is Trying Hard For Good P.R

Justin Bieber and Malala YousafzaiJustin Bieber has taken a break from getting into fights with a-listers and getting back together for the 295769th time with Selena Gomez.  Instead, he is trying to appear to have a shred of likeability left and is trying to earn himself some good publicity.

Of course, any self respecting PR whore knows the number one rule of being a shameless phony is that it isn’t so obvious that one is being a shameless phony.

Kim Kardashian is Legit Releasing a Selfie Book

selfish

So, if you’ve been watching “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”, which I obviously have been, you know that Kim Kardashian, while in Thailand, started putting together a book of selfies for Kanye West. And no, I don’t mean she’s giving Kanye a book of his own selfies (which he would like more, I’m sure), she just took a million fucking picture of herself.

Of course, by a million, I mean 1200. Yep, Kim Kardashian took 1200 selfies while in Thailand, which puts me to total fucking shame. However, while the selfies were initially just for Kanye, Kim has decided to share some of them with the entire world. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Selfish by Kim Kardashian. Yeah, it’s a thing.

Katy Perry Needs Black Magic To Find a Man

Katy Perry CovenWhen Katy Perry started dating (and eventually married) Russell Brand, it made a lot of people question her decision-making abilities a bit, as well as the functionality of her nose.   Whensshe then moved on to known douchelord John Mayer, it made us all wonder about her mental state.

Seems even Katy has realized she kind of totally sucks at choosing guys to date, so she has moved onto using some pointy hat, wart on the nose type of help.

Top 10 Celebrity Scandals You Probably Forgot About

killerberry

The other day, my cousin, Krystal, said to me “Remember when Halle Berry killed that guy?” And I was like “Oh shit! Yeah man, I do!” Then I got to thinking about all the celebs that have gotten into some real shit show scandals, yet somehow, no one remembers it anymore.

There are people like Charlie Sheen and Paris Hilton, who are super known for their scandals, but then there are people like Halle, who have actually had some pretty big scandals, yet no one remembers them. Here are 10 major celebrity scandals you probably don’t remember.

Paris Hilton And Kim Kardashian Are Back To Being Talentless Friends

Kim Kardashian Paris Hilton FeudSo it seems that while in Ibiza with practically everyone else in Hollywood, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton have decided to bury the herpes ridden hatchet and become friends again.  So if you felt your

What the hell is in the water there that people are losing their minds? Orlando Bloom is trying to punch out Justin Bieber,  Zac Efron and Michelle Rodriguez are still bearding it up hardcore, and Lindsay Lohan is hanging out in the same restaurants as Leonardo DiCaprio.  It’s like the Bermuda Triangle of celebrity fuckery.

Zac Efron and Michelle Rodriguez Are Like A Legit Thing

wtf

A little while ago, I blogged about the randomness that was Zac Efron and Michelle Rodriguez. After kissing pics finally surfaced, I was like: Meh, whatever, drunken weekend hook up. But, as per usual, I was dead wrong, because this romance is starting to seem super legit.

Zac and Michelle clearly got the memo that every famous hoe in L.A. was going to Ibiza this weekend, so they decided to solidify their bizarre love and show up together and make out all over the place. Warning: it’s kind of like catching your lesbian gym teacher make out with the mega babe star quarterback. It makes none of the sense.

Kris Jenner and Justin Bieber Are A Match Made in Hell

ewgrossIn case you didn’t know, every famous bitch on the planet was in Ibiza this past weekend, including Satan’s top bitches: Justin Bieber and Kris Jenner. Famous hoes from the A list to the E list (as in E!) gathered at famed designer, Riccardo Tisci’s birthday party this past weekend, and as far as I can tell, the whole thing was a total shit show.

Useless bitch, Kim Kardashian, reconnected with other useless hoe, Paris Hilton. Kanye West looked somber as fuck (nothing new there), and Justin Bieber let the world know just how much he likes to keep up with the Kardashians.

Things Aren’t So Flawless With Beyonce and Jay Z

truluvisdead

I’ve spent a lot of time living in denial about this shit, but with the amount of evidence mounting, it seems like where there is smoke, there might actually be fire. That’s right: the greatest romance of all-time, Beyonce and Jay Z, might finally be coming to an end. 

Yes, they’re currently on a super successful tour together, and yes, her Instagram suggests that everything is all good, but insiders are saying it’s all an act and that Beyonce is sadly ready to quit this shit and that the two are actually staying in separate hotels while on tour.

The Kardashians Are Going After Adrienne Bailon

Adrienne Bailon Kim KardashianAdrienne Bailon used to be a Cheetah Girl on the Disney channel with Raven Simone,  and she was a part of some girl group that had like 2 songs, but most people know her as Rob Kardashian’s ex girlfriend.  You remember them right?  That genius couple that got each other’s names tattooed on their bodies, because nothing says, “This is totally going to be successful” as permanently getting some dude’s name written across your ass.

It’s been quite a few years since they broke up, but Adrienne recently did an interview where she talks about how much of a douchebag Rob was for cheating on her, and how being associated with the Kardashians was a career killer.  And now suddenly, the Kardashian sisters are pretending to give a shit about Rob again.