Those of you who are fans of crushing idiocy have had a rough time of it recently. There’s always the Bieberphiles and the Kardashians to entertain you, but nothing can quite compare to the eternal, head rottingly awful stupidity that can come about from the coupling of two dunderheads of colossal proportions.
We are, of course, referring to Jordan Price’s? hook ups and doomed marriages to men primarily made from the revolving meat suitcases that you see adorning the kebab shops of this fine land. Where would we go and who would we be sarky about now that she has released another one into the wild?
Fear not, good people, even when she’s let them loose from her clutches she still pipes up from time to time to remind us all of why we loved her and her dwindling intellect. Even though her and Peter Andre have been split up for about a year (which is decades in gossip time), they have ‘continued their war of words’ (according to most, ‘continued honking at each other like frightened geese, according to us), to both keep each other in the public eye and, apparently, to moan about their kids getting burnt or something. It’s mostly the first reason, obviously.
Looks like they are both not only godawful people, singers, presenters, speakers, ‘writers’, thinkers, and whatnot (you can probably go ahead and add that they are godawful at eating, pooing and playing basic children’s games as well), not only are they undoubtably terrible at those things, but it turns out they are also drastically bad parents.
Who would have thought it, eh?
Seems as though the Price/Andre idea of a good time was to play ‘injure the small child’ and now allegations are coming out that they’ve both been waving lit matches in their kids faces and hurling them into pits of lava.
Digitalspy readies it’s fire extinguisher to tell us:
It was reported yesterday that Andre had used his lawyers to contact his ex-wife after discovering a burn on the child’s back. Price hit back on Twitter claiming that the story contained more “lies” and went on to suggest that her son Harvey had received an injury while in Andre’s care.
Of course, they are both parents who clearly love their little publicity machines very much, but is this not just the same as being trapped in a waiting room with a new mother who just won’t stop going on and on and on and on about how her little darling was coughing all last night and was right off his babychino this morning and she won’t stop until you commit a timely act of violence on her person?
Instead of being a new mother, it’s two of the most boring and unlikeable celebrities on the planet, and instead of a waiting room it’s all over the internet and those magazines that girls leave in their houses and it’s not even a coughing fit, it’s the world’s tiniest burn sustained yonks ago and an unspecified injury.
It’s not like this is even playground-style hair pulling to get the girl you like to notice you. Apparently,
Price went on to add that she hoped the latest row would put an end to “ridiculous” claims that she wanted to get back together with Andre.
They’re even denying us the satisfaction of looking forward to a whole new messy break up, they’re just boring us with their bad parenting.
Teases.
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