Articles tagged with: Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton Is More Deluded Than First Glance Would Have You Believe, Shockingly
Paris Hilton has revealed herself to be ever-so-slightly more shallow than the last time she said something this unfathomable. Any other celebrity, heck, any other person for that matter, spitting out such insultingly ill-thought out nonsense would perhaps, if they too were 28 years old, be just cause to have them sectioned. The world scratched its head as the heiress revealed that the single worst moment of her life was when her tiny teacup pooch went missing.
Paris Hilton has revealed herself to be ever-so-slightly more shallow than the last time she said something this unfathomable. Any other celebrity, heck, any other person for that matter, spitting out such insultingly ill-thought out nonsense would perhaps, if they too were 28 years old, be just cause to have them sectioned. The world scratched its head as the heiress revealed that the single worst moment of her life was when her tiny teacup pooch went missing.
Nicky Hilton Totally Citizen-Arrests A Tramp In The Face
The difference between Paris Hilton and her sister Nicky Hilton is clear - when Paris meets a stranger she instantly sucks them off on the internet. But Nicky Hilton? Nicky Hilton arrests them. Which, somewhat bewilderingly, is what happened at 5am on Saturday morning. According to reports, a homeless man named Michael Broadhurst decided to shove Nicky Hilton in the back outside a pancake shop, and Nicky responded by placing that no-home mofo under citizen's arrest. Which, technically, isn't correct. Nicky Hilton should have placed the tramp under vapid, waify billionaire heiress arrest, but it wouldn't have sounded quite as good.
The difference between Paris Hilton and her sister Nicky Hilton is clear - when Paris meets a stranger she instantly sucks them off on the internet. But Nicky Hilton? Nicky Hilton arrests them. Which, somewhat bewilderingly, is what happened at 5am on Saturday morning. According to reports, a homeless man named Michael Broadhurst decided to shove Nicky Hilton in the back outside a pancake shop, and Nicky responded by placing that no-home mofo under citizen's arrest. Which, technically, isn't correct. Nicky Hilton should have placed the tramp under vapid, waify billionaire heiress arrest, but it wouldn't have sounded quite as good.
Razzies: The Love Guru Is Now Officially Woeful
Awards ceremonies like the Razzies exist to perform an important function - mainly to tell us that Mike Myers isn't funny any more. Gee, thanks Razzies! But while we await the Razzies' next profoundly original thought - something tells us it'll involve bears and woods - let's reflect on Saturday night's Razzies, where Mike Myers' The Love Guru managed to win Worst Picture, Worst Actor and Worst Screenplay. A clean sweep for The Love Guru? Hardly - because yet again, Jessica Alba managed to avoid getting a Worst Actress award. Hey Razzies, she's not going to marry just because you only think she's marginally abominable.
Awards ceremonies like the Razzies exist to perform an important function - mainly to tell us that Mike Myers isn't funny any more. Gee, thanks Razzies! But while we await the Razzies' next profoundly original thought - something tells us it'll involve bears and woods - let's reflect on Saturday night's Razzies, where Mike Myers' The Love Guru managed to win Worst Picture, Worst Actor and Worst Screenplay. A clean sweep for The Love Guru? Hardly - because yet again, Jessica Alba managed to avoid getting a Worst Actress award. Hey Razzies, she's not going to marry just because you only think she's marginally abominable.
Katy Perry Got Paris Hilton’s Leftovers For Valentine’s Day?
A guest blog by Amy Grindhouse... Katy Perry has been seen out with the former love-interest of Paris Hilton, bad boy rocker Benji Madden. The I Kissed A Girl singer broke up with Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes back in December and seems to have put her faux lesbianism on hold long enough to catch the eye of a new man. The pair set tongues wagging after they were seen together at an event on Valentine’s Day, seemingly putting past troubled relationships behind them.
A guest blog by Amy Grindhouse... Katy Perry has been seen out with the former love-interest of Paris Hilton, bad boy rocker Benji Madden. The I Kissed A Girl singer broke up with Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes back in December and seems to have put her faux lesbianism on hold long enough to catch the eye of a new man. The pair set tongues wagging after they were seen together at an event on Valentine’s Day, seemingly putting past troubled relationships behind them.
Paris Hilton Moving To The Dump Known As Camden
We’ve been to Camden a few times. It’s an experience to say the least when you leave the tube at Camden Town. Stand still for long enough and the local addicts will quickly assume you’re a dealer. Camden is also the spiritual home of Amy Winehouse, Sarah Harding and unfunny man Noel Fielding. Not only do you have to be content with sharing a postcode with these people, but you also have to put up with the hundreds of copycat children who don jeans so tight that their right testicle will explode from the pressured circulation. But prepare yourself for some LA glamour - Paris Hilton’s coming to town.
We’ve been to Camden a few times. It’s an experience to say the least when you leave the tube at Camden Town. Stand still for long enough and the local addicts will quickly assume you’re a dealer. Camden is also the spiritual home of Amy Winehouse, Sarah Harding and unfunny man Noel Fielding. Not only do you have to be content with sharing a postcode with these people, but you also have to put up with the hundreds of copycat children who don jeans so tight that their right testicle will explode from the pressured circulation. But prepare yourself for some LA glamour - Paris Hilton’s coming to town.
WEBTHUMP! Thursday 8 January 2009
10 - What would 25 of last year's most mediocre songs sound like if they were smashed into one big song? That's right - mediocre... 9 - How cocktails got their kerrazy names - Mentalfloss 8 - Men's Fitness in 'obvious latent homosexuality' shock - Mensfitness 7 - Want to make a car than ...
Paris Hilton Thinks Her Booty Was Ransacked From The Inside
Paris Hilton is a woman of incredible vengeance - she didn't get this powerful because everyone in her family is a billionaire. Oh, wait, yes she did. Our mistake. Anyway, Paris Hilton has has jewellery worth $2 million burgled from her bedroom and she's furious about it. And that intense fury has led Paris to come to one conclusion: that the burglar had been in her bedroom before. So now the police are drawing up a suspect list based on all the men who have ever been in Paris Hilton's bedroom. Something tells us we're going to here a while, people.
Paris Hilton is a woman of incredible vengeance - she didn't get this powerful because everyone in her family is a billionaire. Oh, wait, yes she did. Our mistake. Anyway, Paris Hilton has has jewellery worth $2 million burgled from her bedroom and she's furious about it. And that intense fury has led Paris to come to one conclusion: that the burglar had been in her bedroom before. So now the police are drawing up a suspect list based on all the men who have ever been in Paris Hilton's bedroom. Something tells us we're going to here a while, people.
Paris Hilton Gets Her Booty Ransacked, Again
What do you give the girl who has everything? How loads of jewellery - because if that girl is Paris Hilton, it's all been nicked. Paris Hilton has been burgled, with the thief bagging jewellery worth up to $2 million. But more fool the burglar, we say, because he'll have to go a long way before he finds anyone who'll pay that much for jewellery that tacky-looking. It's Paris Hilton we feel sorry for - this has to rank as the most violated and vulnerable she's ever felt. Or at least the most violated and vulnerable she's ever felt without a man's penis stuffed into her gaping mouth.
What do you give the girl who has everything? How loads of jewellery - because if that girl is Paris Hilton, it's all been nicked. Paris Hilton has been burgled, with the thief bagging jewellery worth up to $2 million. But more fool the burglar, we say, because he'll have to go a long way before he finds anyone who'll pay that much for jewellery that tacky-looking. It's Paris Hilton we feel sorry for - this has to rank as the most violated and vulnerable she's ever felt. Or at least the most violated and vulnerable she's ever felt without a man's penis stuffed into her gaping mouth.
