A Bunch of Has-Beens Got Into A Fight At Paris Hilton’s Beach Rental

Paris Hilton Jeremy Jackson Brandon DavisRecently, Barron Hilton (Paris’ little brother) got his ass kicked at a party thanks to Lindsay Lohan.? Paris publicly defended her brother, and said they’d take out anyone who messed with the family.? It was weird to see the Hilton name headlined again, especially in a feud with Lohan.

Because 2003 is really looking to make a resurgence, the Hiltons are back in the news after Jeremy Jackson, another has-been who peaked over a decade ago, got his ass kicked at Paris’ rental home in Miami.? Brandon Davis is involved, so the story’s now also full of douchebag along with expired celebrity.

Jeremy Jackson used to be on Baywatch as David Hasselhoff’s son, and for a long time after didn’t do anything.? Then he discovered spray tans and steroids, and suddenly realized his calling was for reality television and getting nekkid.?? He did some show about former child stars trying to relaunch their career (spoiler alert- didn’t work), then did Celebrity Rehab, because all the klassiest d-listers go on VH1 shows, and?was a Chippendale dancer.? All very respectable jobs.

Sometime early Sunday morning, Jackson, along with some friends, decided to head over to Paris Hilton’s Malibu beach house (which costs over $600k a month by the way to rent.? THE FUCK) and get his party on.? Paris doesn’t like anyone’s orange glow competing with her own clementine appearance, nor is Jackson nearly rich enough to share in her cocaine, and she wanted him go.??So?Brandon David, the?asshole who did infamously give us the whole “Lindsay Lohan is a firecrotch” bit (fist bump, D)?told Jackson and his friends to bounce.? Jeremy didn’t want to leave, and allegedly?tried to pull the most overused famous person card by yelling, “Don’t you know who I am? I was on Baywatch and Celebrity Rehab.”

How did Paris not immediately offer him a room and his own mini mountain after that, I just do not know.?? But she didn’t, and because someone still had ‘roid anger issues, a fight broke out.? A fight that left big bad Jackson fucked up.? The police were called, but no one wanted to press any charges.? But Jeremy did run to the press to show pictures and talk about the fight.? Obviously, this is because tabloids pay for this shit, the police give you no dollars for reporting crime.

Jeremy Jackson Beat up

Not only did Jeremy claim Brandon, Paris’ little brother Barron, and more beat him up, he compared it a horrible racial historic event, saying they?were going “Rodney King on my ass.”?? (Not so fun note, Rodney King was also on Celebrity Rehab, but died not too long after appearing on the show. )? He also referred to the group as “degenerate fame whores” which is some pot kettle shit if I have ever heard it.? Some bitch from Celebrity Big Brother UK got a little Westside Story and broke a bottle over Jeremy’s head, which I gotta admit, I kind of like her style.

Interestingly, the cops were called twice that morning.? Once from Jeremy’s crew, and once from Barron’s.? Seems the littler Hilton is in the hospital due to getting injured, which makes it twice now that Barron has gotten his ass handed?to him in Malibu while fighting with people who reached their prime over a decade ago.?? So now it’s a bit of “he said/she said” about the real aggressor in the fight.

Paris took to Twitter, of course, to blame it all on Steroid Orangutan

I do have to agree that Jeremy Jackson gives me the creeps just from a photo, so I can only imagine those bug eyes in person.