Posts tagged as:

Paris Hilton

It’s Your Fault Paris Hilton Lost Her Star Power. And For That, We Thank You.

by Amy Grindhouse

First things first. We’re using ‘star power’ in its loosest of meanings. As loose as a certain part of Paris Hilton’s very anatomy, you might say. She had some strange kind of fame that was based on a filthy tape that was meant to be sent to a nature channel but some perverts packaged it [...]

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Lindsay Lohan’s Electronic Ankle Tag Starts Beeping Which Is Interesting

by Mof Gimmers

Now that Lindsay Lohan is under house arrest, she’s probably turned into a bit of a borebag. Her life has gone from wildly reckless and grottily glamorous to that of a student, loafing about and switching channels on the TV while sat in greasy undercrackers. Gone are the days when she’d have sex with either [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Gets A Restraining Order To Add To Her Completely Normal Life

by Mof Gimmers

We may well think of Lindsay Lohan as a jewel thief, booze-hoover and sometime thespian, but really, we should think of her as a piece of legal furniture. So frequently has LiLo been involved with matters of the law, that she’s probably the most qualified person in the USA when it comes to a person’s [...]

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And So, Judge Gives Lindsay Lohan 120 Days In Jail For Swiping Gaudy Necklace

by Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 120 days in jail for making off with that necklace from a shop that seemed rather happy to tout their CCTV footage around, which is all rather grisly and backstabby. Ergo, it’s fantastic and we’re all for it. Thankfully for LiLo though, she’s famous, which means she won’t get [...]

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Lindsay Lohan To Be Visitor Of The Britney Spears Prison Of Awesome ™

by Amy Grindhouse

Lindsay Lohan will probably receive no real punishment for allegedly stealing a $2,500 necklace – even though there were multiple witnesses and there’s surveillance video of the entire thing. Instead of going to prison on a theft charge, she’s going to be the first official visitor of the Britney Spears Prison Of Awesome ™. We’re [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Thinks Paris Hilton Is A Mean Girl (And Forgets About Them Kissing Each Other)

by Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan. It really is great to have you back. You and your speckled parts have been away too long. Could we perhaps offer you a drink? No, feel free to drive home too. We like it when you’re a complete mess. What? Paris Hilton has been nasty to you? Why don’t you go and [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Flashes Her Boobs During Community Service, Gets Drunk And Thinks Of Corpses

by Mof Gimmers

We liked Lindsay Lohan when she was a drug addled, diamond stealing, near-alcoholic who indulged in all manner of sexual activities, with not a care in the world what people thought of her. That’s our kind of celebrity. If you’re going to be wealthy and influential, then it is your duty to exploit it. It [...]

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Paris Hilton’s Boyfriend Keeps Getting Punched By A Lunatic

by Mof Gimmers

While many of us may have daydreamed about punching a celebrity, very few of us actually get around to doing it. That’s because that’s the actions of a madman. And mercifully for us, there’s a few mad sorts knocking around to do exactly that! Yes indeed, there’s a chap in Hollywood who has been accused [...]

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Lindsay Lohan To Get The Baby Hacked Out Of Her In Charles Manson Film

by Mof Gimmers

Hey! You know what would be really cheery? A nice film about Charles Manson who wrote poetry, wrote songs, hung around with the Beach Boys, dug The Beatles ‘White Album’ loads and… uh… instructed a gaggle of mad women to kill people for him. One of Charlie’s most famous victims was Sharon Tate, who had [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Falls Over And Everyone Sniffs Her For Booze Pong

by Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan is great when she’s scraping her knees on the tarmac, fellating bottles of vinegary white white and blowing cocaine filled snot bubbles from her tear-ducts. We like her because she’s as trashy as we’d be, if we had her wealth. However, after being chased constantly by the police and paps, it would appear [...]

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