Paris Hilton: She’s a jack of all trades and master of none. Not that it matters when you have her bank account.
Her new single ‘Good Time’ has been highly anticipated by literally no one but cynical bloggers, and boy, were we pleasantly surprised. Hilton gives a downright moving performance, displaying a rawness and vulnerability that her debut effort lacked, as well as showing off her impressive vocal range and songwriting skills.
Just kidding. It’s a heavily synthesized, over-autotuned hot mess and we would never want it any other way. It’s literally the musical equivalent of Paris herself.
For a woman who’s entire lifestyle consists of getting drunk and lounging around mansions with her famous friends, she sounds downright bored out of her head for half of this song. The other half sounds like an X Factor contestant who’s hoping that belting out the song with all their heart will be enough to distract people from the fact they can’t sing.
Nobody was expecting Ivor Novello worthy lyrics from this, but let’s just say that it’s entirely believable that Paris wrote this album herself.
I cam here just to party/ All this don’t you hate on me, yeah / Got my sexy girls with me / Oh, I love it
I’m not condoning theft, but the Bling Ring had the power to spare us from ever hearing this.
Lil Wayne also appears on the track, much to the disbelief of pretty much everyone. I’d like to think that this is his way of taking responsibility for ever giving Paris a record deal – he has to pay for her credibility with his own. He’s on fine form as usual with such lines as “all she know is suck, fuck”. Yeah, keep it gangster, Weezy.
The accompanying video has yet to assault our eyeballs, but the teaser clip below is everything you thought it would be.
Bikini – check. Writhing around soaking wet – check. Glow sticks – check. Slow motion hair flips – is there any other way to make a music video?
It’s a shame the song is so diabolical, because the beat isn’t too awful. It might of even have had the potential to be a mediocre Pitbull song. It just goes to show. You can throw as much money at famous producers as you want, but it still can’t cover up the fact that you’re famous for one sordid night in a hotel room.
That’s oddly comforting.