Articles tagged with: Paris Hilton
George Clooney Isn’t Telling Barack Obama What to do, Just Everyone Else in the World
George Clooney may well be a huge ball of smugness, thinking he knows better than all of us - but he doesn't think that highly of himself, it would appear. Well, he probably does still think highly of himself. In fact, there's no 'probably' about it. Anyway, Georgey apparently doesn't think enough of himself to advise presidential candidate and Paris Hilton/Britney Spears-alike Barack Obama, despite reports emerging that claimed otherwise. No, it would seem that George Clooney just thinks he's better than us 'normies', as he may well like to call us, and only feels it prudent to educate ('patronise') and entertain ('annoy with smug fat face') the plebians - not those of a better stock, like candidates for the US presidency. Well doesn't that just make you feel a whole lot better? Not only is he not trying to influence possible future leaders, but he will still try and talk down to us as much as humanly possible. But we've seen you in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, George - we all know what levels you'll stoop to, and we simply can't respect you for it. Take that!
George Clooney may well be a huge ball of smugness, thinking he knows better than all of us - but he doesn't think that highly of himself, it would appear. Well, he probably does still think highly of himself. In fact, there's no 'probably' about it. Anyway, Georgey apparently doesn't think enough of himself to advise presidential candidate and Paris Hilton/Britney Spears-alike Barack Obama, despite reports emerging that claimed otherwise. No, it would seem that George Clooney just thinks he's better than us 'normies', as he may well like to call us, and only feels it prudent to educate ('patronise') and entertain ('annoy with smug fat face') the plebians - not those of a better stock, like candidates for the US presidency. Well doesn't that just make you feel a whole lot better? Not only is he not trying to influence possible future leaders, but he will still try and talk down to us as much as humanly possible. But we've seen you in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, George - we all know what levels you'll stoop to, and we simply can't respect you for it. Take that!
Paris Hilton Sued For Not Being an Attention-Grabbing Twit
Wait - so that's Paris Hilton we're talking about? The one that would sell her own mother if it meant she got an extra five seconds in the public eye? But she's getting sued for not promoting a film she was in? Well - stranger things have happened. There is also the chance that this is the first time in her life that Paris Hilton has done something that made sense, with the film in question being National Lampoon's Pledge This!. Why anyone in their right mind would bother having anything to do with what is an utter pile of pump we do not know, and when someone who doesn't come across as if she's in any kind of right mind knows to keep away from it then, well - you know something just isn't right.
Wait - so that's Paris Hilton we're talking about? The one that would sell her own mother if it meant she got an extra five seconds in the public eye? But she's getting sued for not promoting a film she was in? Well - stranger things have happened. There is also the chance that this is the first time in her life that Paris Hilton has done something that made sense, with the film in question being National Lampoon's Pledge This!. Why anyone in their right mind would bother having anything to do with what is an utter pile of pump we do not know, and when someone who doesn't come across as if she's in any kind of right mind knows to keep away from it then, well - you know something just isn't right.
Paris Hilton Poked Chris DeWolfe… No, Wait – That’s Facebook
Does Paris Hilton even have a MySpace account? Surely she's one of those types that gets their profile banned for being far, far too whorish for the young audience of the site? It would appear Paris has special dispensation, however, as she is reportedly 'dating' - or whatever the kids call it these days - the CEO of MySpace Chris DeWolfe, who has surely given her special privileges for her profile. More photos, space to upload more of her wonderful music (seeing as her pop career is something of a nonstop rollercoaster right now) or something like that, surely. It is shocking that Paris didn't let MTV find her a new boyfriend, mind. What makes the story all the more shocking is that neither Paris nor Chris have updated their profiles to show they are single, with each still involved in a relationship and a marriage (though separated), respectively. Guys - go to your profile, click on edit then change the information accordingly - come on, you shouldn't be leading people astray like this. At least if it were Facebook you could change it to 'It's Complicated', which would suit perfectly.
Does Paris Hilton even have a MySpace account? Surely she's one of those types that gets their profile banned for being far, far too whorish for the young audience of the site? It would appear Paris has special dispensation, however, as she is reportedly 'dating' - or whatever the kids call it these days - the CEO of MySpace Chris DeWolfe, who has surely given her special privileges for her profile. More photos, space to upload more of her wonderful music (seeing as her pop career is something of a nonstop rollercoaster right now) or something like that, surely. It is shocking that Paris didn't let MTV find her a new boyfriend, mind. What makes the story all the more shocking is that neither Paris nor Chris have updated their profiles to show they are single, with each still involved in a relationship and a marriage (though separated), respectively. Guys - go to your profile, click on edit then change the information accordingly - come on, you shouldn't be leading people astray like this. At least if it were Facebook you could change it to 'It's Complicated', which would suit perfectly.
Paris Hilton Makes a New Video. One That Doesn’t Involve Sex.
Okay, so maybe we're just reacting to Paris Hilton's new advert as many of our readers react to the sarcasm on these pages - by taking things at face value. But it would appear that Paris Hilton is indeed running for the presidency of the United States of America. In a video statement released to political hardline site Funny or Die, Hilton responded to the recent campaign ad from John McCain and the Republican party with her own brand of politics. In the original ad, Paris was likened to Democratic Senator Barack Obama - popular, but ultimately vacuous and easily forgotten (or maybe it was the other way round). It would seem that young miss Hilton didn't take too kindly to these words and has launched something of a war on the Republican Party, vowing to bring them down if it's the last thing she does. Okay, so maybe we're going a bit overboard - even told a couple of porkie pies. She isn't trying to bring down the Republican Party. She isn't actually running for presidency. And Funny or Die isn't technically a political hardline site. But she has been involved in a video response, so it's not all bad news laced with lies.
Okay, so maybe we're just reacting to Paris Hilton's new advert as many of our readers react to the sarcasm on these pages - by taking things at face value. But it would appear that Paris Hilton is indeed running for the presidency of the United States of America. In a video statement released to political hardline site Funny or Die, Hilton responded to the recent campaign ad from John McCain and the Republican party with her own brand of politics. In the original ad, Paris was likened to Democratic Senator Barack Obama - popular, but ultimately vacuous and easily forgotten (or maybe it was the other way round). It would seem that young miss Hilton didn't take too kindly to these words and has launched something of a war on the Republican Party, vowing to bring them down if it's the last thing she does. Okay, so maybe we're going a bit overboard - even told a couple of porkie pies. She isn't trying to bring down the Republican Party. She isn't actually running for presidency. And Funny or Die isn't technically a political hardline site. But she has been involved in a video response, so it's not all bad news laced with lies.
Barack Obama is a Hybrid of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, Apparently
The race for US presidency isn't something we're likely to cover very much on these pages - it's too divisive even for us. Plus we're British-based, so we're legally not allowed an opinion. Non-partisan as hecklerspray may be though (you vote for who you actually want to vote for), we can't help but feel something of an affinity with Barack Obama after his presidential rival John McCain compared the Democrat to both Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. That's the kind of politician we could get on board with!
The race for US presidency isn't something we're likely to cover very much on these pages - it's too divisive even for us. Plus we're British-based, so we're legally not allowed an opinion. Non-partisan as hecklerspray may be though (you vote for who you actually want to vote for), we can't help but feel something of an affinity with Barack Obama after his presidential rival John McCain compared the Democrat to both Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. That's the kind of politician we could get on board with!
Paris Hilton Wants Puppy. Pet Store Wants Paris Hilton Not To Have Puppy
It could be said that on average Paris Hilton buys three puppies, two kittens and half a baby elephant every single weekend. It's because of her tremendous love for animals. She feel compassion for them, she feel empathy, and also she likes to pose with them on the red carpet because they make everything 'cuter.' Except for the half-elephant. It's at least the front half, but when she slings it over her shoulder it's severed insides just kind of dangle in the back. Nothing cute about that. In her defense though, the little tiny tusks are quite endearing. Whether or not the preceding sentences even hold a spec of truth is irrelevant right now - it's irrelevant because right now we just want to tell you about the pet store Hilton stopped in to grab a dog, and they told her to keep on walking.
It could be said that on average Paris Hilton buys three puppies, two kittens and half a baby elephant every single weekend. It's because of her tremendous love for animals. She feel compassion for them, she feel empathy, and also she likes to pose with them on the red carpet because they make everything 'cuter.' Except for the half-elephant. It's at least the front half, but when she slings it over her shoulder it's severed insides just kind of dangle in the back. Nothing cute about that. In her defense though, the little tiny tusks are quite endearing. Whether or not the preceding sentences even hold a spec of truth is irrelevant right now - it's irrelevant because right now we just want to tell you about the pet store Hilton stopped in to grab a dog, and they told her to keep on walking.
Stuart Heritage Is A Work-Shy Freeloader, So Say Hello To Paul Sorrenti, Ian Dransfield and Shawn Lindseth
Hello. I am Paul Sorrenti. How do you do? This is weird. I’m not sure I’m very comfortable with writing in a first-person narrative anymore. You see, writing for hecklerspray this past six or seven months has made me lose all sense of individuality. The concept of ‘I’ is totally alien to me now. I can barely remember the man I used to be. Once I had passed the strict audition process I was led into a dark room by one of Lord Heritage’s henchman who sat me down and cuffed me to a chair. Then, after pinning my eyelids back, he turned a projector on.
Paris Hilton Isn’t Pregnant. Jurassic Park!
It’s a scary time to be alive. Everywhere you look there are people dying, mothers crying, politicians lying and girlfriends prying. We are told global warming is going to drown us, terrorists are going to blow us up and Paris Hilton is going to have a baby - it’s all too much. The human body hasn’t evolved the capacity to deal with such misery, and so it seems that mass suicide is the only reasonable option. But wait! Put down your nooses, brothers and sisters! Kick off those high heels, rip off those fish nets and spit that orange to the floor, because it would appear that Paris Hilton aint pregnant after all!
It’s a scary time to be alive. Everywhere you look there are people dying, mothers crying, politicians lying and girlfriends prying. We are told global warming is going to drown us, terrorists are going to blow us up and Paris Hilton is going to have a baby - it’s all too much. The human body hasn’t evolved the capacity to deal with such misery, and so it seems that mass suicide is the only reasonable option. But wait! Put down your nooses, brothers and sisters! Kick off those high heels, rip off those fish nets and spit that orange to the floor, because it would appear that Paris Hilton aint pregnant after all!
