?In recent news that no one cares about, former reality star/socialite/wannabe popstar actress/amateur porn star/full time shallow twat Paris Hilton has filed a lawsuit against a porn site in Slovenia for selling clips of her infamous sex tape “1 Night in Paris.” Slovenia is really putting the “slo” in it’s name since that shitty sex tape is like 10 years old.
In her suit, Hilton is requesting that the website be closed down and she wants to take ownership of the domain name the company had been using: ParisHiltonPornVideos.com.?The fact that some website decided?to cash in off of Paris?Hilton’s decade old sex tape isn’t the truly shocking part of this story; it’s more so that anyone would still be willing to pay to see that shit.
I remember being in high school when Paris Hilton’s sex tape came out and I was anxious to see it since I am legit obsessed with celeb sex tapes/leaked pics/all that shit, and back when I was in high school, Paris Hilton was kind of a celeb. You know, the early 2000s when you’d watch “The Simple Life” before “The OC” and it was awesome? Well, it was alright. Mediocre at best, I guess. Either way, when Paris’ sex tape leaked, she acted all upset about it, but in reality it’s what made her a star and got her “UsWeekly” covers and shit, and deep down I’ve always thought she leaked herself (such a conspiracy theory, I know), because let’s be real, Paris Hilton really likes attention.
However, unlike Kim Kardashian, who ironically initially became?known in the media as a member of Paris’ posse, Paris really hasn’t been able to turn her sex tape into long lasting fame. I mean, Kim was just the daughter of the guy who helped get OJ Simpson off with murdering his wife, but then she started being seen around town with the briefly super famous Paris, and then she has her own sex tape leaked. Flash forward eight years, and Kim has 11 million Instagram followers, just wrapped the seventh season of her reality show, is still getting magazine covers and constant media attention, and is engaged to Kanye Fucking West. You know what Paris Hilton is up to? Me either.
Which brings me to this story. When Paris Hilton’s awful, infrared sex tape, featuring the super creepy Rick Salomon, was released back in 2003, it made Paris Hilton a household name, regardless of the fact that every word out of her mouth and all of her outfits?made me do this:
(I fucking love eye roll gifs). Either way, showing her pancake ass getting ploughed on camera put her on the map, and now everyone has forgotten she exists.? Did I mention that Paris Hilton is promoting a new single (yes she is still trying to make her music career happen. Paris Hilto with her music career is like Gretchen Weiner? with the word “fetch.” Stop trying to make it happen!)? That’s right, kids, in 2003 when people didn’t really know who she was and she had a reality show to promote, her sex tape was accidentally released. Now in 2013 she’s promoting a new single and suddenly her sex tape is back in the news?! I see what you did there Paris Hilton!
It’s really no wonder Hilton wanted to own the domain name ParisHiltonPronTapes.com; it’ll probably come in handy ten years down the road when she’s trying to promote a straight to DVD thriller or a shoe line with K-Mart. You stay classy, Paris!