There once was a time when – after crashing her car possibly on drugs – Lindsay Lohan would have got even more shitfaced, taken her underwear off and lectured everyone about the horrors of press intrusion for nine solid hours.
But not any more, because the Lindsay Lohan of today is a brand-new, socially responsible Lindsay Lohan who knows when she's done wrong and is willing to hand herself over for whatever punishment she deserves no more than two months after it actually occurred. That's what happened yesterday afternoon, anyway, as Lindsay Lohan swung by the local police station to be booked on charges of driving under the influence and hit-and-run after her allegedly drug-fuelled car crash in May. Just as well that she's only started copping to punishments for her mistakes now, really – any earlier and Lindsay Lohan would still probably be locked in a cupboard with no tea for making The Parent Trap, we expect.
Although she might not have got it into her appendixless, broken-wristed, asthma-ridden, gash-legged, dehydrated body yet, Lindsay Lohan is one of the luckiest women on the planet. This is because as soon as one door closes for Lindsay Lohan, another one opens. It's this wonderful serendipity that saw Lindsay move seamlessly from being a child-star with limitless potential to being the drunk wanker in the corner trying to get into McFly's pants while screaming abuse at George Best's son.
And now it seems like Lindsay Lohan is in the midst of another transitional stage. Gone are the pictures of Lindsay Lohan sitting on some drugs and the stories of Lindsay Lohan being suicidal and addicted to prescription medicine and, in their place, a newly rehab-fresh Lindsay Lohan is ready to take on the world. So it's just a shame that the world wants to bang Lindsay Lohan up for crashing her car like some sort of crosseyed goonsplat back in May. E! Online reports:
The actress made a quick stop at the Beverly Hills Police Department Thursday afternoon to be officially booked on charges of driving under the influence and hit-and-run, according to KABC-TV's Website, stemming from her allegedly booze-fueled single-car smash-up that occurred about a month and a half ago. Lohan was detained for about an hour, then released on her own recognizance after posting $30,000 bail. She's scheduled to be arraigned Aug. 24.
There's still been no official word on how much cocaine was rampaging through Lindsay Lohan's system at the time of the crash, but it'll be interesting to see how these charges play out for her. Since she's basically decided to stay in rehab forever, though, it's unlikely that Lindsay Lohan will go to jail like Paris Hilton.
But the punishment is not the important thing here. The important thing is that, by handing herself into the police, Lindsay Lohan has started to assume culpability for her various wrongdoings. It's sensible acts like this that will ultimately force people to accept Lindsay Lohan as the talented actress that she is and not the furiously debauched party-spaz that we've all come to know.
Boring isn't it? When are those naked Lindsay Lohan photos going to hit the internet?
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Kippertron says
Soon, I hope. Ginger vaginas are so Summer 07
amycakes says
Yeah, the new ‘sweeter and nicer than a kitten wearing a rainbow t-shirt’ won’t last longer than paper underwear at a water slide convention. You’ll see, you’ll all see. Well, see y’all.