Sweet baby Jesus it's been hot around the world lately; so hot that pavements are melting, cities are being plunged into darkness and – most importantly – our underwear keeps getting soggy and stuck up our arses. Lindsay Lohan is feeling the heat, too.
Lindsay Lohan got so overheated and dehydrated earlier in the week that she collapsed on the set of her new movie and ended up having to go for hospital treatment. It's nice to see Lindsay Lohan going to hospital for a condition that doesn't come armed with a handy set of inverted commas, because Lindsay Lohan being hospitalised for becoming overheated and dehydrated is a lot different to Lindsay Lohan being hospitalised for becoming 'overheated and dehydrated', since that would mean that Lindsay Lohan had stuffed a load of drugs up her bum and bulimia-puked all the moisture out of her body. But that didn't happen, so you can all relax.
It's been a while since Lindsay Lohan has been to a hospital – at the beginning of the year she was there so much that she may as well set up her own Lazy Boy in the waiting room. There was the time when Lindsay ended up in hospital after a Florida heat-inspired asthma attack, the time when Lindsay ended up in hospital after busting herself up a teacup belonging to Bryan Adams and the time when Lindsay ended up in hospital after crashing her car a lot.
But lately there's been none of that, with Lindsay Lohan instead content to flog acne cream and have it off with McFly. Until now that is – everyone welcome the return of the hospital-friendly Lindsay Lohan! On Tuesday, it was reported that Lindsay Lohan collapsed on the set of her new movie Georgia Rule after a gruelling 12-hour shoot in 105 degree temperatures.
According to her publicist Leslie Sloane Zelnick, Lindsay had become so "overheated and dehydrated" that she was taken to hospital for an injection of vitamin B to perk her up. She's expected to return to the film set today, after Sloane Zelnick told reporters that "she's fine." We're taking that to mean that Lindsay Lohan will be back to her pretend lesbian pole-dancing best before long.
There's only one person to blame for Lindsay Lohan getting overheated here, and that's Paris Hilton. We can only explain Lindsay's overheating as being round two of the apparent phone-hack squabble that Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are currently involved in. Think about it – why did Lindsay Lohan get so overheated? Because the sun is shining harder than ever. Why is the sun shining harder than ever? Because Paris Hilton's reggae-tinged summer pop single Stars Are Blind is so damn catchy that the sun felt obliged to beat down furiously on her enemies. And let that be a lesson to anyone who dares cross her.
[story by Stuart Heritage]