Lindsay Lohan has been surreptitiously missing from the headlines of all of our favourite celebrity smut gossip columns lately – we humbly include ourselves in the bunch – and has had us thinking the worst.
We’ve been worried sick that she may have disappeared when her plane crashed on a desert island with a doctor, a healed cripple and an escaped convict chick with chipmunk teeth and they had to protect themselves from dangerous ‘others’ whilst plotlines and side stories become so numerous that they’re impossible to keep track of and no-one has any idea how they’re going to wrap up everything fully with just another episode or two.
But, huzzah! The incomparable Lindsay Lohan has eased our hearts and minds with reports that she had herself a little coke-snorting party in the bathroom of Teddy's nightclub in Hollywood's Roosevelt Hotel. It was about time for a vice switch, was it not? Lindsay has triumphed over her reported alcohol problems with an intense trip to rehab where she apparently stayed strictly confined to the premises for all of about six hours a night while she slept. Now it looks like it might be time to break out the drug rehab hats, folks.
But before we all go passing judgements that we’ve already made about the recreational drug habits of Lindsay Lohan, we’re going to give you the alleged facts so you all can make your own opinion. Just know that we’ll no longer be your friends if you formulate an opinion different from ours.
So, it seems that all of this apparent Lindsay Lohan cocaine-use hubbub can be verified by a secret videotape that reportedly shows Lindsay snorting cocaine with friends in the bathroom. We haven’t seen this damning 'evidence', but we did see some stills of the video on the News of the World website. The pictures include LiLo sitting on a toilet, standing by the mirror, and standing next to a friend. Yup, that’s pretty incriminating stuff.
Sure, when Kate Moss got busted for doing lines there were pictures that caught her in the act, but these pictures of Lindsay just hanging out in the bathroom are the real smoking gun. Who knows, maybe the actual video shows Linds in the act of doing something naughty, but searching the internet to find the video sounds too exhausting for us to tackle. However, there’s also the always reliable 'friend' of Lindsay’s who backed up the story with an eye-witness account saying that Lindsay did, like, 20 lines or something, and then bragged about her promiscuous encounters with famous men. Uh-huh. According to the News Of The World:
A friend of the 21-year-old actress says she is spiralling out of control since rehab and revealed that Lohan:
SNORTED 20 lines of cocaine in ONE night alone
STRIPPED down to a thong before inhaling the drug off a coffee table
BRAGGED of wild sex sessions with a host of celebrities including singer James Blunt and model Calum Best.
So, other than being really grossed out by Lindsay Lohan apparently just chilling on the toilet seat and praying to the powers that be that she put down a seat cover, we can’t see any hard evidence that she’s doing coke. And if she is, it’s really not a light matter, and everyone should just, like, leave her alone to, like, get better and stuff so she can, like, win an Oscar someday like she’s planning on doing, okay?
Good luck Linds, and remember to just say “um, like, no” to drugs.
Read more:
Lohan Took A Line Then Bragged: I'll xxxx Jude Law Tomorrow – News Of The World
Internet Pedant says
“BRAGGED of wild sex sessions with a host of celebrities including singer James Blunt and model Calum Best.”
What the…?!?!
I sincerely hope she WAS on coke during these sessions. It’s the only reasonable explanation.
Zeebz says
What a dumbass.