For the slapheaded son of a pissed-up footballer, Calum Best is doing alright for himself – or at least he was before he hooked up with Lindsay Lohan, apparently cheated on her behind her back and got in a huge embarrassing hotel lobby fight with her.
According to reports, Calum Best and Lindsay Lohan – the Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor of couples made up of a girl from a film about a magical car and a boy whose crowning achievement was being on Celebrity Bleeding Love Island – have apparently had some kind of gigantic fight in a New York hotel thanks to to Calum Best collecting phone numbers from girls who weren't Lindsay Lohan or something. That's only one suggested reason for the public bust-up, though – other sources say that the squabble began when Best told Lohan that in his opinion Rene Descartes' deduction-based system of knowledge ultimately exaggerated the capacity and virtue of reason at the expense of emotional perception, at which point Lindsay Lohan totally lost her shit.
Right now, as far as Maxim magazine is concerned, nobody in the world is hotter than Lindsay Lohan right now, since bulimics who maybe snort cocaine off toilets and own big appendix scars are so now. And as the hottest woman in the world, Lindsay Lohan requires a superhunk of a man who is at least her physical equal. For some reason, though, this memo didn't get to Lindsay Lohan and she ended up with Calum Best – a two-bit reality TV star hungrily gnawing at whatever's left of his dead father's name and reputation.
Lindsay Lohan and Calum Best deserve each other – not just because they look semi-decent cavorting about on beaches in swimwear, but because their three-week relationship has been carefully built on a steady framework of trust, respect and mutual understanding. Except, of course, when Calum Best spends every single second away from Lindsay Lohan sniffing around other women like a randy dog – and if reports are to be believed, that happens quite a lot. Like earlier this week, when Lindsay Lohan got so sick of Calum's alleged flirting that she started screaming at him in a hotel in front of everyone in a not at all attention-seeking way. The New York Post reports:
Sources told Page Six the "screamfest" started in the penthouse and ended up in the lobby. "Calum's clothes were torn, and after a few minutes, they got back into the elevator and went back to their room," said one onlooker.
Following the fight, it's unclear whether Lindsay Lohan and Calum Best have made up or split for good. Not that it matters either way – Calum's now got all these phone numbers to follow up on, and Lindsay Lohan always has McFly for a fall-back, although whether that's a step up or a step down from Calum Best is anyone's guess. In fact, the only good thing to come from Lindsay Lohan and Calum Best being together in the first place is that there were a couple less arseholes on the market anyway.
Still, at least Lindsay Lohan's Calum Best tantrums have shown that she is still able to perform and emote to an almost supernatural degree, and these can all be seen in her forthcoming movie Herbie Gets Shouted At In A Hotel By A Ginger.
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