Lindsay Lohan Back In Rehab After Chuffwitted Arrest Crash
Lindsay Lohan sure knows how to party, and by 'party' we mean 'possibly ingest enough cocaine and alcohol for her to plough her car into a shrub, then drive off, then get arrested and then end up in rehab for the second time in a matter of months'.
Following her arrest for driving under the influence after she crashed a car containing a usable amount of a substance believed to be cocaine in it this weekend, it appears that Lindsay Lohan has taken the smart move of re-entering rehab to sort out her problems. We're no rehab experts, but there's a chance that Lindsay Lohan's problems include a) drinking too much, b) taking too many drugs, c) being in so many movies about magical cars that she thinks they won't career off the road and plough into a bunch of shrubs after she's apparently consumed too much cocaine and alcohol to be able to drive them properly and d) being a bit of a wanker. It's thought that the rehab staff are confident that they'll help with the first three of Lindsay Lohan's problems, but are shying away from the fourth because they're not effing magicians.
This weekend, while most of us were celebrating the spring bank holiday the traditional way – by glumly staring at the torrential rain through a fogged-up window and wishing we were anywhere else – Lindsay Lohan was doing the inevitable and getting arrested for driving under the influence of something or other after crashing a car containing a bunch of stuff that's probably cocaine on Sunset Boulevard.
Chances are you know all the details of Lindsay Lohan's crash by now – after a night of partying in various clubs on Saturday, Lindsay Lohan crashed her car and drove off to hospital where police tracked her down and placed her under arrest for driving under the influence – but at least Lindsay Lohan is confident that she'll get off her charges. After all, Lindsay Lohan has never crashed a car befor… oh. Anyway, at least Lindsay Lohan has never been pictured with drugs befo… oh. Well, at least Lindsay Lohan has never shown any signs of erratic behaviour bef… um, never mind.
But now, following her arrest, it's been reported that Lindsay Lohan has entered rehab for treatment. You know, rehab. The place that Lindsay Lohan went for a month in January before she left and subsequently denied that she ever had a problem. In Touch Weekly reports:
After a wild weekend that saw her arrested for DUI early Saturday morning — and out of it in a car just two days later — she's seeking treatment. “She finally realizes it’s the right thing to do,” a close friend of the 20-year-old actress tells In Touch exclusively. “She is going willingly.”
Fortunately for Lindsay Lohan, she's checked into the Promises rehab centre in Malibu, which has a proven track record with bald girls who attack cars and claim to be the devil, so maybe it'll be just what Lindsay Lohan needs to realise that maybe she should have sought treatment back when she was yammering about bulimia and maybe doing the nasty with McFly. So far there's been no comment from Lindsay Lohan's slave Leslie Sloane-Zelnick, who must be hidden in some kind of bunker frantically realising that she's already used up the dehydration excuse, the appendectomy excuse and the paparazzi excuse for Lohan, leaving only the Martian laser attack excuse at her disposal.
Aside from the rehab, though, Lindsay Lohan's case is expected to come up in court in August – meaning that there's a very real chance that Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan will all be in jail at the same time. Hilary Duff had better step up her game pretty quickly or we'll all be in for a lean summer.
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may lindsay find peace within her heart and be filled with light.
Hello, I do beielve that you spelled realize wrong. Thank you.
believe*
she thinks they won’t *career* off the road …
[...] Lindsay Lohan Back In Rehab After Chuffwitted Arrest Crash – Hecklerspray: Music, Movies, TV, Celebs… __________________ The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn. — Unknown. [...]
Yeah, same thing that the Olympic gold-medalist Michael Phelps (Lindsay’s one-time lover i think) was arrested for underage drinking (he was 19 years old at the time in 2004), DUI and runing over the stop sign. But he was not put in jail and he was not into AA rehab but he attended MADD. He’s so lucky that he didn’t lose his endorsements in swimming!
I love when people correct someone on spelling by misspelling a word, and then try to backtrack on it with a second post.
Realis(z)e can be spelled either way. The version with ’s’ is typically the British spelling; and since hecklerspray is British, that would be the correct spelling for them.
And, no, thank you.
Lindsay Lohan might be one of the most boring actresses on earth. Let her do those drugs and spice up that driftwood personality!
Paris,Nicole,Lindsay and HIlary all in jail by august oh what a beautiful world!!! If we are lucky enough Britney may die by June and take Christina with her!
are you kidding???!!!! nicole doesn’t know the reason we celebrate memorial day? is bebery hills on another planet? a radish has a higher iq.advise to nicle:the money you spend on clothes invest on tutors,my darling.
The sins are as boring as the sinners…
The total lack of originality
in these episodes is really starting
to wear on me. If one of the
Bimbo clan does it and it gets publicity,
within six months, the rest of them
have done exactly the same stupid thing.
The Circus of Banality
Why forgodsakes can’t we ever read
about NicParLinBritEtc wrestling live alligators, dinig on their children,
or even better doing something artistically interesting
that just might justify the undo amount of attention
these spoiled children receive. They should all be placed
in a Maoist re-education camp for 10 years.
Hah! Hard labor and no TV/tabloid audience!
We need a new batch of talentless sociopaths
with a more interesting set of problems.
That’ll certainly assuage our ever growing tedium.
i cant belve shes back in rehab again
same old same old lindsey following the path of britney spears
she’s bound to have mental breakdown