You know, we always thought that Herbie: Fully Loaded got its title because of Herbie's incredible physics-defying antics, but maybe it got the Fully Loaded suffix because Lindsay Lohan was spazzed up to her tits on cocaine all the time.
Yesterday news started emerging that police had found traces of cocaine in Lindsay Lohan's blood following her car crash last month. As yet these reports have yet to be officially confirmed – and Lindsay Lohan is yet to be charged with possession – but if it is eventually revealed that Lindsay Lohan did have traces of cocaine in her system when she ran her car off the road after a night out, then it'll easily be the most shocking news to come out of Hollywood since it was rumoured that the sun came up this morning and that the sky had taken on some sort of blueish colour.
Lindsay Lohan is a woman of many talents – acting in films that nobody has any inclination to see, making embarrassing scenes in hotels, that sort of thing – but nobody could ever accuse Lindsay Lohan of being a talented driver. In 2004 Lindsay Lohan crashed her car, in 2005 Lindsay Lohan crashed her car, then again in 2005 Lindsay Lohan crashed her car and then in 2006 Lindsay Lohan crashed her car. Now it's 2007, it was always going to be a matter of when, not if, Lindsay Lohan was going to crash her car, And last month she didn't disappoint.
That's because last month Lindsay Lohan managed to crash her car, get arrested and go to rehab all at once. Nobody really knows why Lindsay Lohan did this – theories range from Lindsay being suicidal to Lindsay being hooked on OxyContin – but now police look as if they're creeping closer to the answer. Not only did officers find 'a usable amount' of what appeared to be cocaine in Lohan's car, but now it looks as if Lindsay Lohan's blood was virtually frothing with the stuff too. The New York Post reports:
Mean Girl Lindsay Lohan was fully loaded on more than just booze when she went on a Memorial Day weekend-long bender – she also had cocaine in her system, according to reports. Officers found cocaine in Lohan's smashed-up car, and a news report yesterday revealed that the actress had traces of cocaine in her system. A Beverly Hills police spokesman declined to confirm or deny the bombshell revelation. "I'm not going to tell you one thing or another. We're basically in the home stretch of the investigation and it'll be completed very soon," said Lt. Mitch McCann.
Obviously cocaine use would be the logical explanation for some of Lindsay Lohan's more outlandish exploits, like collapsing on film sets, pestering Al Gore for help about the paparazzi and being photographed sitting around next to a load of cocaine – but it's important that we don't rush to any conclusions here. After all, maybe Lindsay Lohan has decided to stay in rehab forever for reasons other than a cocaine problem. Perhaps Lindsay Lohan needs help with her addiction to making really really unforgivably awful films all the time. In which case she has our every blessing.
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