Articles tagged with: Robert Pattinson
WEBTHUMP! 12 August 2009
10 - Channing Tatum can 'jam', apparently. Ugh - AmyGrindhouse 9 - And now, the first step to having sex with a virtual reality prostitute - Geekologie 8 - OLD LADIES IN BIKINIS - Interestment 7 - Freecycling: why it is quite good - Shoutingatcows
Twilight: Now Ashley Greene Gets Naked On The Internet Too
In the space of seven days we've seen Vanessa Hudgens naked and Miley Cyrus poledancing. That's sexy. Or uncomfortably creepy. Let's go with creepy. But this disturbing tweeny flesh parade isn't over yet. Now Ashley Greene - who plays Alice in the Twilight movies - has become the latest celebrity to find naked pictures of herself dumped onto the internet. Honestly, some people will do anything to get noticed by Robert Pattinson. The naked photos have horrified Ashley Greene. Her naked body is sacred, and only for the people who'll watch the crappy thrillers she'll make once her career goes tits up.
In the space of seven days we've seen Vanessa Hudgens naked and Miley Cyrus poledancing. That's sexy. Or uncomfortably creepy. Let's go with creepy. But this disturbing tweeny flesh parade isn't over yet. Now Ashley Greene - who plays Alice in the Twilight movies - has become the latest celebrity to find naked pictures of herself dumped onto the internet. Honestly, some people will do anything to get noticed by Robert Pattinson. The naked photos have horrified Ashley Greene. Her naked body is sacred, and only for the people who'll watch the crappy thrillers she'll make once her career goes tits up.
Teen Choice Awards Won By… Oh, You Can Probably Guess
Without irony or hyperbole, the Teen Choice Awards sounds like the worst place on the face of the planet. Why? Because Robert Pattinson was there. And The Jonas Brothers were there. And it was held yesterday, in Los Angeles in the summer. And Robert Pattinson and The Jonas Brothers are famed for making teenage girls urinate uncontrollably. And the sun is famed for its ability to evaporate liquid. So put it together and what do you get? Piss clouds. You get thousands of people at the Teen Choice Awards inhaling giant clouds of each other's piss. Plus: Miley Cyrus! Ugh.
Without irony or hyperbole, the Teen Choice Awards sounds like the worst place on the face of the planet. Why? Because Robert Pattinson was there. And The Jonas Brothers were there. And it was held yesterday, in Los Angeles in the summer. And Robert Pattinson and The Jonas Brothers are famed for making teenage girls urinate uncontrollably. And the sun is famed for its ability to evaporate liquid. So put it together and what do you get? Piss clouds. You get thousands of people at the Teen Choice Awards inhaling giant clouds of each other's piss. Plus: Miley Cyrus! Ugh.
Everyone From Twilight Still Banging On About Rachelle Lefevre
If you're a Twilight fan, you've got an important choice - do you prefer Bryce Dallas Howard or Rachelle Lefevre? OK, it's not that important. As far as things that Twilight fans worry about go, who plays Victoria is hardly up there with their chronic incontinence or habit of rocking backwards and forwards while listening to Paramore and sobbing because Robert Pattinson doesn't even know they exist. However, some Twilight stars have spoken out about Rachelle Lefevre's sacking. And by 'spoken out' we mean 'diplomatically tiptoed around it because they'll also get the boot if they say the wrong thing'. Obviously.
If you're a Twilight fan, you've got an important choice - do you prefer Bryce Dallas Howard or Rachelle Lefevre? OK, it's not that important. As far as things that Twilight fans worry about go, who plays Victoria is hardly up there with their chronic incontinence or habit of rocking backwards and forwards while listening to Paramore and sobbing because Robert Pattinson doesn't even know they exist. However, some Twilight stars have spoken out about Rachelle Lefevre's sacking. And by 'spoken out' we mean 'diplomatically tiptoed around it because they'll also get the boot if they say the wrong thing'. Obviously.
Twilight: Eclipse – Rachelle Lefevre Gets A Strop On
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse was probably going to be the biggest film of Rachelle Lefevre's entire career. Not the best film, mind you. After all, if you looked back on your life and realised that its defining highpoint involved playing a grumpy lady vampire in a terrible kid's film alongside a man with a face like stern twig, you'd probably consider your entire time on Earth to be a catastrophic failure. But despite that, Eclipse was going to be Rachelle Lefevere's biggest film. But it won't be now - she's been replaced with Bryce Dallas Howard. Rachelle Lefevre's reaction? Blind fury.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse was probably going to be the biggest film of Rachelle Lefevre's entire career. Not the best film, mind you. After all, if you looked back on your life and realised that its defining highpoint involved playing a grumpy lady vampire in a terrible kid's film alongside a man with a face like stern twig, you'd probably consider your entire time on Earth to be a catastrophic failure. But despite that, Eclipse was going to be Rachelle Lefevere's biggest film. But it won't be now - she's been replaced with Bryce Dallas Howard. Rachelle Lefevre's reaction? Blind fury.
Twilight: Eclipse – Bryce Dallas Howard Is Your New Hate Target, Fangirls
Oh no. Twilight has started swapping its actors around again, and you know how furious that makes its fans. So who's out now? Has Taylor Lautner been elbowed? Has the recession forced producers to replace two of the New Moon Wolf Pack with some rudimentary kebab-meat statues of Adam Rickett? Has Robert Pattinson quit Twilight because he's tired wiping teeny urine off his front door every morning? No. It's the character of Victoria - Rachelle Lefevre is out and Bryce Dallas Howard is in. We suppose we should draft up that 'Robert Pattinson gets Bryce Dallas Howard pregnant' article, then.
Oh no. Twilight has started swapping its actors around again, and you know how furious that makes its fans. So who's out now? Has Taylor Lautner been elbowed? Has the recession forced producers to replace two of the New Moon Wolf Pack with some rudimentary kebab-meat statues of Adam Rickett? Has Robert Pattinson quit Twilight because he's tired wiping teeny urine off his front door every morning? No. It's the character of Victoria - Rachelle Lefevre is out and Bryce Dallas Howard is in. We suppose we should draft up that 'Robert Pattinson gets Bryce Dallas Howard pregnant' article, then.
New Moon Essentially Floods Comic-Con With Teenage Wee-Wee
No no no, this won't do at all. Everyone knows that Comic-Con is a place for lonely, slightly pallid boys. That's how it works. They wander around a giant warehouse whooping at Damon Lindelof and then go home to beat one out over the rapidly-fading memory of the booby model employed to dress up like She-Hulk. Lonely girls at Comic-Con? No. Lonely girls at Comic-Con who make noises like faulty rape alarms whenever Robert Pattinson is about to take his top off? Definitely not. But that's basically what happened when New Moon was unveiled at Comic-Con yesterday. It sounds unbearable.
No no no, this won't do at all. Everyone knows that Comic-Con is a place for lonely, slightly pallid boys. That's how it works. They wander around a giant warehouse whooping at Damon Lindelof and then go home to beat one out over the rapidly-fading memory of the booby model employed to dress up like She-Hulk. Lonely girls at Comic-Con? No. Lonely girls at Comic-Con who make noises like faulty rape alarms whenever Robert Pattinson is about to take his top off? Definitely not. But that's basically what happened when New Moon was unveiled at Comic-Con yesterday. It sounds unbearable.
New Moon: The Movie That Will Stop You Liking Radiohead
The worst thing about Twilight was probably the music. No - Kristen Stewart. No - Robert Pattinson. No - everything. But the music was pretty awful. Fake-angsty nonsense, all of it - from that Linkin Park song that sounds like the Self Harm preset on Fred Durst's old Casio to two songs by Paramore, presumably included so that people would remember Twilight as the movie with the really crappy soundtrack in case the rest of it turned out forgettable. But the New Moon soundtrack is going to be different - Thom Yorke from Radiohead wants to appear it. We really wish we were joking.
The worst thing about Twilight was probably the music. No - Kristen Stewart. No - Robert Pattinson. No - everything. But the music was pretty awful. Fake-angsty nonsense, all of it - from that Linkin Park song that sounds like the Self Harm preset on Fred Durst's old Casio to two songs by Paramore, presumably included so that people would remember Twilight as the movie with the really crappy soundtrack in case the rest of it turned out forgettable. But the New Moon soundtrack is going to be different - Thom Yorke from Radiohead wants to appear it. We really wish we were joking.
