Oooh! Wedding dresses! They’re amazing aren’t they! The average woman will buy three in her lifetime, tying the knot with men who are wise enough to hire something and give it back without forking out all that hard-earned money (which of course, they’ll spend on their mistresses).
And the wedding that real saps are aching for is the pretend one that will take place in the next Twilight film! It’s going to be amazing seeing two lifeless turds being joined in some unholy matrimony.
But what about the dress? What does a corpse bride wear? In the case of Kristen Stewart’s character in Breaking Dawn, she’ll be sporting a Carolina Herrera gown, which probably means something to the terminally single who compile worrying dream-wedding scrapbooks. AND YOU CAN WEAR A CORPSE WEDDING DRESS TOO!
When Breaking Dawn, Part One is released on November 18th, you divs will be able to buy an exact copy of the ‘Edwardian-inspired’ dress.
Edwardian, in this case, could mean that it is shaped exactly like Edward Woodward.
Some prick called Alfred Angelo will be exclusively selling the official replica dress in his stupid Signature shops in the USofA and whichever cynical independents stock it in Europe, enabling you to dress up like Bella Swan while you cry, alone, in your grotty house covered in Robert Pattinson posters.
Don’t worry. You can have a honeymoon with the glittery Twilight vibrator which someone made a while back, which you pop in the fridge before using so you can really know what necrophilia feels like.
Your life is just fantastic.
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JoeMomma says
It will be on sale at your local “Hot Topic” the place where all US Suburban-Gated-Community goths get their gear from.
wisestep says
nice twilight fans ! you can look lik a corpse on your wedding day
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