Articles tagged with: Robert Pattinson
Taylor Swift & Taylor Lautner: Smoochy Smooch Kiss Kiss?
Are there two more famous teenagers in the world right now than Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner? Well, yes. Yes, there are probably several. But are there two more famous teenagers in the world right now who have the same first name and might possibly be dating than Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner? No. We mean, there might be. But we haven't checked. Seriously, what kind of joyless imbecile goes around finding couples who share a first name to see if they're more or less famous than other couples who share a first name? Not us, buddy. NOT US. Anyway, Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner might be dating. That was our point.
Are there two more famous teenagers in the world right now than Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner? Well, yes. Yes, there are probably several. But are there two more famous teenagers in the world right now who have the same first name and might possibly be dating than Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner? No. We mean, there might be. But we haven't checked. Seriously, what kind of joyless imbecile goes around finding couples who share a first name to see if they're more or less famous than other couples who share a first name? Not us, buddy. NOT US. Anyway, Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner might be dating. That was our point.
Good News, Shrieking Idiots: Robert Pattinson Can’t Get A Date
Robert Pattinson might be one of the most famous haircuts in the world right now, but he still can't find a date. Don't get excited. That sentence probably needs a qualifier. Let's try this: Robert Pattinson still can't find a date... with anyone who isn't a witless honking teenage girl with bladder control problems, a rubbish haircut and a frankly dispiriting fixation with terrible films about vampires. So that's you ruled out, clearly. Anyway, it's apparently true. Robert Pattinson says he's having trouble in the love department. He's working on it, but first he needs to fix his problems in the haircut, acting range and charisma departments. It's good to prioritise.
Robert Pattinson might be one of the most famous haircuts in the world right now, but he still can't find a date. Don't get excited. That sentence probably needs a qualifier. Let's try this: Robert Pattinson still can't find a date... with anyone who isn't a witless honking teenage girl with bladder control problems, a rubbish haircut and a frankly dispiriting fixation with terrible films about vampires. So that's you ruled out, clearly. Anyway, it's apparently true. Robert Pattinson says he's having trouble in the love department. He's working on it, but first he needs to fix his problems in the haircut, acting range and charisma departments. It's good to prioritise.
Hecklerspray Meets Stephen Moyer Of True Blood
In the build up to the launch of vampire drama True Blood on Channel 4, hecklerspray's Keith Emmerson caught up with the defiantly charming and ruggedly handsome Stephen Moyer (who plays Bill Compton) to discover the man behind the vampire. We are also reassuringly told that he could kill Robert Pattinson if he had to. If you didn't catch the first episode on Channel 4, it's available on 4OD - watch it. Video after the jump!
In the build up to the launch of vampire drama True Blood on Channel 4, hecklerspray's Keith Emmerson caught up with the defiantly charming and ruggedly handsome Stephen Moyer (who plays Bill Compton) to discover the man behind the vampire. We are also reassuringly told that he could kill Robert Pattinson if he had to. If you didn't catch the first episode on Channel 4, it's available on 4OD - watch it. Video after the jump!
Another New Moon Trailer! That’s Slightly Longer! GNUUUH!
So Kanye West grabbed all the MTV VMA headlines by acting like the world's most unnaturally colossal turd. But that's not the real news. No, the real news is that MTV broadcast a New Moon trailer! Yes, we know that there have already been about a million New Moon trailers, but this one is different. It's very slightly longer! And Robert Pattinson takes his top off in it! And therefore it's more liable to make us want to deliberately binge ourselves into a pharmaceutically-assisted coma just to escape it! Excited about the New Moon trailer? Then you're an idiot. Also, it's after the jump...
So Kanye West grabbed all the MTV VMA headlines by acting like the world's most unnaturally colossal turd. But that's not the real news. No, the real news is that MTV broadcast a New Moon trailer! Yes, we know that there have already been about a million New Moon trailers, but this one is different. It's very slightly longer! And Robert Pattinson takes his top off in it! And therefore it's more liable to make us want to deliberately binge ourselves into a pharmaceutically-assisted coma just to escape it! Excited about the New Moon trailer? Then you're an idiot. Also, it's after the jump...
Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart ‘In Love’, And Other Nauseating Guff
New Moon will be released soon - so soon, in fact, that we can almost smell the mixture of black nail polish and teenage urine from here. But there's trouble on the horizon. According to magazine reports this week, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have dramatically fallen in love and their relationship is threatening to pull the success of New Moon apart. Wait, did we say 'threatening to pull New Moon apart'? Because we meant 'coming off like a cynical marketing stunt designed exclusively to make millions of useless teenage girls become even more unbearably excited about New Moon'. Our mistake.
New Moon will be released soon - so soon, in fact, that we can almost smell the mixture of black nail polish and teenage urine from here. But there's trouble on the horizon. According to magazine reports this week, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have dramatically fallen in love and their relationship is threatening to pull the success of New Moon apart. Wait, did we say 'threatening to pull New Moon apart'? Because we meant 'coming off like a cynical marketing stunt designed exclusively to make millions of useless teenage girls become even more unbearably excited about New Moon'. Our mistake.
OOOOOH – Twilight 3 Has A Red Barn In It – OOOOOH
As anyone who's anyone already knows, the Twilight series revolves around several gay vampires struggling to marry in California or something. Will the state's senate hear their pleas? Rumor has it we'll find out in the third film - Eclipse. Everyone's filming in a red barn right now, and the commonly accepted speculation is that this is where the bloodiest gay hoedown in cinematic history is supposed to take place. In the book it happens in chapter 4. Apparently onlookers are lined up outside the barn snapping tons of pictures - while you're stuck at a stupid desk. It's so unfair, life.
As anyone who's anyone already knows, the Twilight series revolves around several gay vampires struggling to marry in California or something. Will the state's senate hear their pleas? Rumor has it we'll find out in the third film - Eclipse. Everyone's filming in a red barn right now, and the commonly accepted speculation is that this is where the bloodiest gay hoedown in cinematic history is supposed to take place. In the book it happens in chapter 4. Apparently onlookers are lined up outside the barn snapping tons of pictures - while you're stuck at a stupid desk. It's so unfair, life.
Are Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Having It Off Or What?
The onscreen chemistry between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart is what makes Twilight so popular. Actually, that's a fib. Sorry. Cynical marketing aimed at a notoriously stupid demographic is what makes Twilight so popular - Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have the onscreen chemistry of two learning-disabled second-hand toilet brushes after an extensive series of amateur lobotomies. But, hey, that's just onscreen - offscreen Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are totally doing it. Probably. They went to a Kings Of Leon concert on Saturday and were photographed having what appears to be a little snog, anyway. Romantic. And sort of off-puttingly grubby.
The onscreen chemistry between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart is what makes Twilight so popular. Actually, that's a fib. Sorry. Cynical marketing aimed at a notoriously stupid demographic is what makes Twilight so popular - Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have the onscreen chemistry of two learning-disabled second-hand toilet brushes after an extensive series of amateur lobotomies. But, hey, that's just onscreen - offscreen Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are totally doing it. Probably. They went to a Kings Of Leon concert on Saturday and were photographed having what appears to be a little snog, anyway. Romantic. And sort of off-puttingly grubby.
New New Moon Trailer Gets A Teaser Trailer, If That Makes Sense
Want to know how big New Moon is? It's so big that even New Moon trailers have their own teaser trailers now. Sadly, we're not joking. A New Moon trailer comes out on Friday, and to tease fans - about the trailer - a 15-second peek has emerged. Before the New Moon trailer teaser trailer came a teaser to the teaser trailer to the New Moon trailer, which consisted of five seconds of the New Moon trailer teaser trailer. And before that came the teaser to the teaser to the teaser trailer to the New Moon trailer, which lasted a tenth of a nanosecond and only existed in the mind of one overexcited teenage girl. Or bloody SOMETHING.
Want to know how big New Moon is? It's so big that even New Moon trailers have their own teaser trailers now. Sadly, we're not joking. A New Moon trailer comes out on Friday, and to tease fans - about the trailer - a 15-second peek has emerged. Before the New Moon trailer teaser trailer came a teaser to the teaser trailer to the New Moon trailer, which consisted of five seconds of the New Moon trailer teaser trailer. And before that came the teaser to the teaser to the teaser trailer to the New Moon trailer, which lasted a tenth of a nanosecond and only existed in the mind of one overexcited teenage girl. Or bloody SOMETHING.
