Cushion faced TV and media mollusc, Piers Morgan, is bafflingly successful. He’s a man of no discernible talent who, oddly, is asked for his opinion on popular culture despite the fact he looks like he’s dressed by the same tailor who throws clothes at Jeremy Clarkson.
As well as claiming to be good at stuff, he’s now claiming that it was in fact he who got Dannii Minogue pregnant. Imagine that? Imagine Piers Morgan hunkering down on Dannii Minogue. Think of each grotesque little squirting detail. Go on.
Anyway, I’m not sure having a fiddle over her ill-advised nudey calendar that she released in the late ’90s counts, eh Piers? Oh… hang on…?