Without question, Larry King has the easiest job in the world. But even easy jobs can become boring.
Especially when you’ve been doing it for a while. And Larry King has been doing it for a while. Although he started presenting his daily CNN show before modern records began, physicists have used carbon dating to estimate that it’s been going since roughly the times of the Vikings. The number of public figures that Larry King has interviewed stretches well into the thousands, and the number of genuinely taxing questions he’s asked them stretches to about four.
But now it’s emerged that Larry King is going to quit his CNN show. Don’t look too pleased, though. His replacement could well be Piers Morgan. Yeesh.
Whatever you think of it, you have to admit that Larry King Live performed an invaluable function. Without Larry King, incredibly minor celebrities would have nobody to turn to when they wanted to apologise for whatever dumb crap they’ve just done. Dog The Bounty Hunter and Chris Brown and both Gosselins and that beauty queen with the sex tape who hates the gays -? they’ve all found the time to wail about their flaws on Larry King’s show before waddling off to sleep outside Al Sharpton‘s bedroom window for as long as it takes him to get bored and forgive them.
But lately, Larry King has been the celebrity in the spotlight. Thanks to news of his divorce, and the allegations that he’d been having an affair with his wife’s sister, and the rumours of his wife’s subsequent suicide attempt, had become bigger than most of the people he interviewed. Plus, you know, you can only interview so many shitpot celebrities before the urge to lean over the desk and pummel them to within an inch of their life becomes too much to bear. So maybe that had something to do with it as well. The LA Times reports:
After a quarter century as host of “Larry King Live,” the centerpiece of CNN’s prime-time lineup and a required stamping ground for striving politicians and contrite celebrities, the 76-year-old announced Tuesday that he will be leaving the program this fall… “The daily grind is tough,” King said in a phone call.
Still, let’s not forget that Larry King is an old man, and so if he leaves, then he should absolutely be allowed to do… hang on. Isn’t Piers Morgan going to take his place? No! Larry King must host his show until he dies! Until AFTER he dies! CNN should buy his corpse and just prop it up in a chair while Angelina Jolie drones on at him about her humanitarian work or whatever. It might stink out the studio a bit, but it’d work. Anything but Piers Morgan, seriously.
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