If there's one thing sadder than seeing a grown man cry, it's seeing an overgrown, bright-orange man with a preposterous blonde mullet and leather waistcoat combination crying.
And if there's anything sadder than that, it's seeing an overgrown, bright-orange man with a preposterous blonde mullet and leather waistcoat combination openly wonder if he should commit suicide or bury himself in an unmarked grave like the slaves, which is how Dog The Bounty Hunter has spent most of this week to atone for the tape of him being racist about his son's black girlfriend. But even though his career is in tatters and he's become something of a public hate figure, Dog The Bounty Hunter says he's forgiven the son who shopped him in, and wants to prove his forgiveness by only spraying three full cans of bear mace into his son's face next time they meet, when the traditional family greeting involves five.
Ever since Mel Gibson set the rulebook on how to seek forgiveness for being unstoppably bigoted last year, it's been followed to the letter by the likes of Michael Richards and Isaiah Washington who know that to make amends they have to apologise to the public, then offended community leaders, then do some sort of rehabby course thing or make a violent historical epic with a script written in a dead language if things get really serious.
But Dog The Bounty Hunter is going over and above his call of duty to make amends for the now infamous Dog The Bounty Hunter 'nigger' tape which saw him throw out classy one-liners about his son's black girlfriend like:
"I'm not going to take any chance ever in life of losing everything I've worked for 30 years because some fucking nigger heard us say nigger and turned us into the Enquirer magazine… If Lyssa was dating a nigger we'd all say 'fuck you' and you know that."
Lord knows that Dog The Bounty Hunter has his work cut out for him, because A&E has stopped making Dog The Bounty Hunter, stopped repeating Dog The Bounty Hunter and lost a bunch of Dog The Bounty Hunter advertisers. So now Dog is hitting the apology circuit as hard as he can, first telling Fox News that he's realised that he isn't black and now telling Larry King that no matter how much his career has been tainted forever by the tape of him, Dog has forgiven Tucker Chapman, the ex-con son who sold the tape to The Enquirer for $15,000:
"He will not talk to me. His mother's in on it with him. I have been away from her since the '80s so now she is like getting even… I tried to take control of his life. I heard this girl was maybe not being the best for Tucker — and I'll leave it like that — so I tried to interfere. I don't care if she is black at all. He's on parole for a 20 year sentence and if he messes up he goes back. All I want him to know is that I love him very much."
It seems as though Dog The Bounty Hunter is genuinely horrified at his behaviour and – aside from his new plans to be buried in an unmarked slave grave at George Washington's house so people will know that Dog The Bounty Hunter is sorry, possibly with some sort of elaborate grave-marking – he seems to be doing all he can to put things right.
And what could be better to speed this up than a public reconciliation between Dog The Bounty Hunter and his treacherous son? After all, if Dog can forgive Tucker then maybe the world can forgive Dog. And people from all ethnic backgrounds could come and witness the joyous family reconciliation and enter into the all-encompassing interracial spirit of forgiveness.
Well, all ethnic backgrounds except for the stinking Dutch, that is. But who likes them?
joe smith says
dear mr chapman, quit chasing down pente-antes , go after the big fish…OSAMA!! if you are atrue bounty hunter this is how to redeem yourself.Use your sources!!!
Sandra Weston says
I still believe that Dog has a right to privacy in his own home. I still think that he is a good person who does a lot of good for the state of Hawaii. He is just old fashioned that’s all and has definite ideas about things. You can not fault him for that. We may not agree, but in his own home he has the freedom of speech under the 1st amendment of the constitution. He has the right to privacy. If his son will just pray for him maybe he will come around. I like Dog, he reminds me so much of my father.
Bill Russell says
I believe that Duane Chapman has done a lot of good, finding people who have broken their bond. He talks to them like human beings and leven prays with and for them. This situation he is facing now, was due to a PRIVATE phone call. And his son Tucker (?) sold it for a whoping 15g’s. I have never even heard of “Tucker”. . . I still believe in Duane “Dog” Chapman and all he has done.
XYBORG says
From ‘THE AFRISTOCRAT’, 9 November 2007:
Having endured a week-long televisual tsunami of tearful tribulation for the “N”-riddled telephonic tirade unleashed by Duane ‘Dog’, what chance a comparable display of contrition from his equally-guilty ~ and Negroid ~ namesake, Snoop Dogg?
http://www.afristok-7.blogspot.com/
Nikki Douglas says
I’m glad they pulled his show and not because he used the N word. I watched one episode and he bullied someone into letting them search their house after they said the person wasn’t there. They threated them by telling them they would get the police out there. So the person let them search their house and no one was there.So he violates innnocent people privacy by invading their homes when they say no. So what if the conversation got taped. He deserves it.
col says
So,Sandra yer dads a big orange mullet sporting racist? or did he just mace you?
jorawil says
Dog has every right to say what he wants to. All of this poor me and political correctiness is CRAP. Whiners will always be whiners. Get a life.
John
gir says
Shut up faggot.
dino says
Is Dog’s with Beth a racsist too?
If that is her soulmate, wouldn’t you think
that she shares his views towards blacks as well?
What about his sons that are on the show? What are
their feelings about blacks?
TONY YAYO says
THIS guy is a looser. yes he dose bully his way around. i wish he would show up at my house with his paint ball guns. hed need a lot more than them to protect himself. Ive seen him force his way into peoples homes after they say no. bad move at my house. if florida you can kill a man for doing such things. as long as you feel threatened and someone sticking paint ball guns in my face would def threaten me. so come on down you recast pig. he has no friends on Hawaii from what ive read people hate him.
Mike says
Ok Im here to give a coment about Dog. He says he has spent 10 years in the TDCJ system in TX. I did alot of time in there too and one thing that I learned about the people is that the most racist people there are the whites. So to hear about Dog saying that stuff is now surprise but what I dont understand is why he is still making shows. This is a guy that wears his shit half why open with tiped boots and a wife thats looking like she belongs on a street conner. Trasah is what people overseas is thinking about us as Americans and that is the truth.
Rachel says
learn to spell
EuropAsia says
Mike – you have spot on. Thats exactly what we (in the rest of the world) think of Americans.
Other things that come to mind are “illiterate”, “inbred”, “isolated” and without any semblance of progressive, intellectually grounded culture. Even your food is based on quantity not quality.
America the beautiful says
First of all dog is a ass hole but just like any one that assumes that only blacks can be considered being the n word and what should’ve been first Europaisa it’s foreigners like you that make me sick how dare you talk about Americans if all you people paid us Americans our money for bailing your asses out then we wouldn’t be in our situation hitler tag teamed with japan kicked the whole east ass Europe and Asia we America intern kicked their asses rebuilt your countries so shut up asshole unless you ready to pay up
bIG MOFO says
I HATE NIGGAS, SPICS, NIPS, GUKS, NAZIS, KIEKS, WOPS, DIEGOS, SAND NIGGERS, MEXICANS,, AND RED NECKS!
I am an american Indian.
Tarita Pettway says
Whoa apache chief slow your roll and go back to your casino;) and I’m black American Indian and some white so get over your self. soaring eagle)
Jacksback says
EuropAsia is a dou.che bag if Europians feel that way then they should really give up many of there freedoms developed first by the United States such as freedom of religion, freedom of speach, the ability to vote and many other American values. Asia has no right to talk period they dont have any rights at all they still have slavery and actually allow canabilism and murder as long as youre rich and can pay the police off. I hope people dont believe the crap that people say because its untrue, and what is worse is that they work so hard sttacking America that they forget how bad they have it.
sarah says
fabulous trash though! apart from the racist rant.
Tisktisk says
Then your father must be a closet racist.
A. Merican says
Roflmao, kill yourself. The united states Of America is younger than a lot of buildings near me. You’re insane if you think freedom was invented by America. You probably believe you speak American too.
slimmdilla says
yo an ass…..dont forget that