If you’re new to this, here’s a recap: Carrie Prejean made a sex tape when she was 17 and sent it to Larry King.
Or something. What with all the on-air tantrums and over-use of the word ‘inappropriate’ and solo sex tapes that are either illegal or just plain sexy, this Carrie Prejean kerfuffle is exploding off in so many directions that it’s become impossible to contain. What we need is someone to simplify everyone. Someone with an air of natural authority. Someone with a haircut that looks like a monkey’s matted stab wound. That’s right, we need Donald Trump.
And, because this is a thing that has happened and Donald Trump will shrivel up and die unless someone’s constantly paying attention to him, he’s obliged. Hooray.
Say what you like about Carrie Prejean, but she sure knows how to promote a book. In fact, we’re so impressed with Carrie Prejean’s promotional skills that when we come to pen our autobiography, we’re going to paint ourselves orange and make a grubby solo sex tape and then throw a half-hearted tantrum on Larry King’s show too. It’s textbook stuff.
But one question remains about Carrie Prejean. No, it’s not ‘when do we get to see that video of Carrie Prejean thrashing away at her genitals?’ and it’s not ‘why didn’t Carrie Prejean leave Larry King’s studio instead of just sitting there flapping her mouth around like some sort of awful bellend?’ – it’s ‘what does Donald Trump make of all this?’
It’s important to know what Donald Trump’s take on the Carrie Prejean saga is, for three reasons:
1) As the boss of the Miss USA pageant, Donald Trump has been inextricably linked to Carrie Prejean for some time now. In his time, Donald has both defended Carrie and sanctioned her sacking. He knows how she ticks.
2) Any time a news story reaches a certain level, a light starts blinking in Donald Trump’s office and he feels the necessity to start barking his barely-formed opinion about it into the nearest camera. This is a mark that the Carrie Prejean sex tape story has hit the big time.
3) Donald Trump knows that if he starts wading in on this issue, his profoundly odd appearance will act as a counter-balance to the general level of horniness surrounding the Carrie Prejean sex tape. Seriously, try to masturbate with an image of Donald Trump in the back of your mind without crying. It’s impossible.
That said, what does Donald Trump think of this Carrie Prejean mess? Let’s find out:
“‘Inappropriate’ is more of a sexual term, as far as I’m concerned…I mean — inappropriate? He asked a very, very easy question and I was surprised that she just didn’t say, ‘Hey, listen, I can’t answer that question.’ Instead she wants to walk off the stage? It was very surprising.”
So that’s that sorted out, then. Join us next week, when Sir Alan Sugar will rub his hands together, puff out his cheeks and shout the word “Cor!” a lot when he’s asked for his opinion about the Jennifer Lopez sex tape. Or something.
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Gill Bates says
This is obscene – but not in the sex tape sense, inthe sense of WHY is this generating so much interest? Let this hypocrite fade into the obscurity she deserves.
BTW – her BF says she was 20 and that she lies.
If true this may all be shameless self-promotion.
Let it go.
Ronald Lawson says
I think poor Carrie stepped in a pile and now can not clean it off.She is the real stupid blond that I hear about I guess.I still can not see how such a religous broad can strut her naked ass around for the world to see.
Judit Nagy says
Carrie Prejean is an imbecil, and the sooner she fades into
oblivion the better it is, she does not deserve so much attention she is currently getting.