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Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus Grimly Refuses To Stop Making Hannah Montana

We don’t know how the Hannah Montana movie ended. We didn’t see the Hannah Montana movie. We hit puberty several years ago.

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Don’t Call Miley Cyrus Fat (Because She’ll Never Shut Up About It)

by Stuart Heritage

Miley Cyrus is just like any other teenage girl. Any other teenage girl with millions of dollars, global fame and a terrifying thirst for power.

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Jamie Foxx Achey-Breaks Billy Ray Cyrus’ Heart

by Stuart Heritage

When Jamie Foxx said that he wanted Miley Cyrus to catch Chlamydia from a bike, he messed with the wrong dude.

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Jamie Foxx No Longer Wishes Miley Cyrus Had Chlamydia

by Stuart Heritage

Jamie Foxx is a comedian. No, really, he is. He’s a comedian. That’s why The Soloist is such a laugh-riot. He’s a comedian.

You know what that means. Sometimes Jamie Foxx has been known to push the boundaries of taste. Maybe he’ll make an off-colour remark here, or embark upon an entire offensive movie career there. And that’s because Jamie Foxx is a comedian. It’s what he does. But there’s a line.

And that line is roughly located right before you suggest that Miley Cyrus should become a lesbian crack addict, if Jamie’s grovelling apology is anything to go by.

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Miley Cyrus Is Intelligent, Or Paranoid, Or Whatever

by Stuart Heritage

Did you know that Miley Cyrus designed and built the Large Hadron Collider completely by herself? Well she did.

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OMG! Miley Cyrus Totally Doesn’t Love Robert Pattinson! Etc!

by Stuart Heritage

Everyone knows that Robert Pattinson has two main target markets – hysterical teenage girls and lonley old women.

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Miley Cyrus Has Had It With This Hannah Montana Movie Guff

by Stuart Heritage

Hey kids, are you excited about the Hannah Montana movie? You are? Well you’re doing better than Miley Cyrus, then.

Because Miley Cyrus, um, isn’t. Even though Hannah Montana: The Movie comes out in less than a fortnight, Miley Cyrus is already so bored of the whole thing that she’s ruled out the possibility of making any sequels to it.

You know what this means – no Hannah Montana 2. And no Hannah Montana 3: Hannah’s Big City Vacation. And no Hannah Montana 4: Aquatic Adventuresplash. And no Hannah Montana 5: Requiem For A Tween. Miley Cyrus, you can really be an awful cow sometimes.

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Miley Cyrus Talks About Her Angelina Jolie Crush

by hecklerspray staff

Miley Cyrus has reassured a panicked Angelina Jolie that she is not stalking her and that she does not have a girl crush on her. Sources say the emergency sniffer dogs and snipers have been called off.

The pint-sized pop singer had previously scared the bejeesus out of Saint Angelina and Angie’s marauding horde of celebrity worshipers on Oscar Night by declaring “She’s beautiful…she could, like, adopt me!”

Thankfully, for all those concerned, security was tight on the night and so nobody over-excitedly assaulted or adopted anybody they should not have.

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Miley Cyrus Shares Her Godlike Wisdom In New Autobiography

by Stuart Heritage

We don’t know what’s more surprising – the fact that Miley Cyrus has written an autobiography or the fact that it’s not written in wax crayon.

Oh, we’re joking. After all, Miley Cyrus is 16, so she’s got over an entire decade of bittersweet life lessons to share with the world – you know, about potty training and riding a bike without stabilisers and whatnot.

Anyway, at this rate volume two of the autobiography will be released when Miley Cyrus is 32, and she’s bound to have been through a couple of drug problems by then. So at least that one will be interesting.

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