I thought we were done talking about Miley Cyrus. I really did. The VMAs — and Cyrus’ shitty twerkathon — have been over for like, a week, and the number of times I see and hear her name have decreased drastically, leaving my Facebook feed wide open for news about Breaking Bad and Joss Whedon.
But oh no. She had to go and do an interview with MTV, delving into all her super crucial thoughts and feeling about the performance, including this gem:
“Me and Robin the whole time said, ‘You know we’re about to make history right now.’”Yes, grinding upon the disappointing-yet-catchy progeny of Papa Seaver while waggling her tongue like a mental patient is certainly historical. I fully expect in 50 years grade-schoolers will be tested on “The Great Twerk of 2013″.
She also discusses how hilarious it is that we’re all running around like chickens with their heads cut off, spazzing about the VMA performance that she didn’t give a second thought to.
It’s so great that she doesn’t care about what she’s remembered for (i.e. stripping down, jerking off with a giant foam finger, and probably giving Robin Thicke a b.j. backstage) as long as she’s remembered — maybe if she’s lucky this will wipe everyone’s memory of The Last Song. Unless… that’s what she wanted all along?! I smell a conspiracy theory.
I just don’t get what the big deal is. Is it her youth? Her former Disney stardom? Her tongue? Her tongue is what worries me most, to be honest, as she now seems incapable of keeping it in her mouth. Also has anyone noticed it seems to be getting bigger and bigger? She could suffocate on it any day now. Worse still, it might become an independently sentient being, detach itself from her head, and kill us all.