Miley Cyrus released the cover art for her new shitty single, “Wrecking Ball.” And in true Cyrus fashion, she’s in her underwear. The world just needs to get accustomed to Miley Cyrus always being in her tighty-whities.
Let’s be thankful this time it’s not shiny, flesh-colored latex lingerie. Also let’s appreciate the fact that her tongue is actually inside her mouth for once. Kudos Miley. This image of Miley getting off on riding a big black ball reminds me of that old 1980’s Apple Macintosh commercial with a Miley Cyrus doppelgänger smashing a hammer into the huge screen. I wanted to do the same to my television after watching Cyrus performed her twerkathon at the 2013 VMA’s.
In fact, I think Miley tries to jack the style from all those androgynous chicks from the 80’s but fails oh so horribly. You know, those beautiful, powerful women that made you question your sexuality, like Annie Lennox and Susan Powter. I think Miley goes to her Brigitte Nielsen shrine every night, lights a candle and picks out her next god awful outfit for the next day.
Perhaps Miley Cyrus is goal is to transform into the washed up actress. Both women both have that intense aura of desperation. Both ladies cover-up deep rooted insecurities by dressing provocatively. Oh and both have short blond hair.
But Cyrus wins in love department, as Liam Hemsworth wins any day over Nielsen’s old lover, Sylvester Stallone. Oh Liam, you poor guy. He is the one who probably gets the most shit from Miley’s VMA debacle.
It’s like when your girlfriend gets hammered at the christmas office party and ends up drunk dancing and flashing your boss and co-workers. Only imagine over 10 million people where there as witnesses. You are not going to live that shit down.
Even though our eyeballs bled at her infamous VMA’s performance, Miley Cyrus is still going strong. Both singles released from her album, “Bangerz,” debuted high on the billboard 100. So even though we loathe her, Miley is here to stay.