Articles tagged with: Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus to Host Massive Party: hecklerspray Trying to Get Guestlisted
You'd think we'd be bored of Miley Cyrus coverage by now. Well, we are. But that doesn't stop us from doing it - especially not when she's selling tickets to her super-mega-ultra sweet 16. Yes, she of Hannah Montana fame and the one that likes to get all (almost) nude for the sake of every man, woman and child in the world is making her party public. Public in Disneyland, which is 85 acres in size, but public nonetheless. All we need to do is save up $250 then hecklerspray can join in the fun - you can bring beer into Disneyland, right? We'll settle for gin, mind. October 5 here we come!
You'd think we'd be bored of Miley Cyrus coverage by now. Well, we are. But that doesn't stop us from doing it - especially not when she's selling tickets to her super-mega-ultra sweet 16. Yes, she of Hannah Montana fame and the one that likes to get all (almost) nude for the sake of every man, woman and child in the world is making her party public. Public in Disneyland, which is 85 acres in size, but public nonetheless. All we need to do is save up $250 then hecklerspray can join in the fun - you can bring beer into Disneyland, right? We'll settle for gin, mind. October 5 here we come!
Christina Applegate Makes Cancer Look Like a Boob
Christina Applegate's cancer has left the building, along with two old friends. You can call it brave, you can call it smart, but regardless of what words you want to use to describe it, Christina Applegate has kicked the botty of cancer by having her boobs lopped off in a double mastectomy. As selfish as it may be for her to deprive her fanbase of those fine assets, we do think that maybe - just maybe - her life is worth more than a couple of breasts. Not much, but still more. Plus she gets to have augmented ones fitted now, that can't get cancer and can shoot lasers and stuff. Maybe. It would certainly make for some interesting scenes in Anchorman 2: Tits of Doom.
Christina Applegate's cancer has left the building, along with two old friends. You can call it brave, you can call it smart, but regardless of what words you want to use to describe it, Christina Applegate has kicked the botty of cancer by having her boobs lopped off in a double mastectomy. As selfish as it may be for her to deprive her fanbase of those fine assets, we do think that maybe - just maybe - her life is worth more than a couple of breasts. Not much, but still more. Plus she gets to have augmented ones fitted now, that can't get cancer and can shoot lasers and stuff. Maybe. It would certainly make for some interesting scenes in Anchorman 2: Tits of Doom.
Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. This is News, How, Exactly?
Talking about Miley Cyrus all the time may be bad enough, but then we have to go and bring in this Jonas Brothers kid in just to see how far things can actually go downhill. As if covering the near-endless slew of nearly naked pictures of a 15-year-old isn't bad enough, now the media feels compelled to report on the fact that two 15-year-olds used to go out with each other. For a bit. And young Hannah Montana has gone and told us all about it. And hecklerspray apparently feels the need to talk about it. If there was an ounce of dignity left in the world, this 'news' is surely the swansong for that poor little blighter. It never stood a chance. Yet there it is, splashed all over the entertainment press: "Miley Cyrus: Breaking Up With Nick Jonas Was Hard" or the much more tempting: "Miley Cyrus: ‘Maybe I’ll End Up Marrying Nick Jonas’" - every publication getting in its own two cents on the matter, covering a two year relationship between two very young teenagers. And this is news. That people want to read. Can someone wake us up from the medically-enforced coma we're about to put ourselves in when the world stops being so clinically insane, thanks.
Talking about Miley Cyrus all the time may be bad enough, but then we have to go and bring in this Jonas Brothers kid in just to see how far things can actually go downhill. As if covering the near-endless slew of nearly naked pictures of a 15-year-old isn't bad enough, now the media feels compelled to report on the fact that two 15-year-olds used to go out with each other. For a bit. And young Hannah Montana has gone and told us all about it. And hecklerspray apparently feels the need to talk about it. If there was an ounce of dignity left in the world, this 'news' is surely the swansong for that poor little blighter. It never stood a chance. Yet there it is, splashed all over the entertainment press: "Miley Cyrus: Breaking Up With Nick Jonas Was Hard" or the much more tempting: "Miley Cyrus: ‘Maybe I’ll End Up Marrying Nick Jonas’" - every publication getting in its own two cents on the matter, covering a two year relationship between two very young teenagers. And this is news. That people want to read. Can someone wake us up from the medically-enforced coma we're about to put ourselves in when the world stops being so clinically insane, thanks.
Miley Cyrus in Appearing Nearly Nude Non-Shocker. Again.
No. Just no. There's a line, it was already crossed and now it's being urinated on from the other side. This has to stop. Right now. One more time, for the road, Miley Cyrus has got half naked, someone has taken photos and one more time, for the road, they have been uploaded on to the internet. And we all know how very much the world of the internet loves pictures of 15-year-olds in small amounts of clothing. She's fifteen, people. Stop it. If this were a no-name young girl from Bognor Regis then whomever uploaded these pictures would probably receive something of a slapped wrist by the local authorities, but because it's a superstar Disney child-celeb it's all fine to go plastering half the internet with scantly-clad photographs of her. Go on - search for it. You'll find them on supposedly respectable sites, including FOX News. This is the same FOX News that cries crocodile tears and attempts to whip up public outrage every time anything 'immoral' happens in the world. Apparently a small girl in her underwear doesn't qualify for that same outrage - in fact, it's news.
No. Just no. There's a line, it was already crossed and now it's being urinated on from the other side. This has to stop. Right now. One more time, for the road, Miley Cyrus has got half naked, someone has taken photos and one more time, for the road, they have been uploaded on to the internet. And we all know how very much the world of the internet loves pictures of 15-year-olds in small amounts of clothing. She's fifteen, people. Stop it. If this were a no-name young girl from Bognor Regis then whomever uploaded these pictures would probably receive something of a slapped wrist by the local authorities, but because it's a superstar Disney child-celeb it's all fine to go plastering half the internet with scantly-clad photographs of her. Go on - search for it. You'll find them on supposedly respectable sites, including FOX News. This is the same FOX News that cries crocodile tears and attempts to whip up public outrage every time anything 'immoral' happens in the world. Apparently a small girl in her underwear doesn't qualify for that same outrage - in fact, it's news.
Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry to Avoid Frankly Weird TV Kiss, Fortunately
There's some damn weird logic working in this world. If a 23-year-old male singer were to say that they wanted to kiss a 15-year-old pop sensation on Sunday, they would rightly be chastised. Probably shot or lynched too. Or just looked down on a lot. They'd probably write a book about their experiences a few years down the line, when the dust had settled. But when it's a 23-year-old female singer saying they want to play tonsil hockey with a child this Sunday then it's just laughed off... Hang on - what? That's not funny. That's just dodgy.
There's some damn weird logic working in this world. If a 23-year-old male singer were to say that they wanted to kiss a 15-year-old pop sensation on Sunday, they would rightly be chastised. Probably shot or lynched too. Or just looked down on a lot. They'd probably write a book about their experiences a few years down the line, when the dust had settled. But when it's a 23-year-old female singer saying they want to play tonsil hockey with a child this Sunday then it's just laughed off... Hang on - what? That's not funny. That's just dodgy.
Miley Cyrus: Condom Salesman Extraordinaire?
We're so jealous of Miley Cyrus. She poses in a wet T-shirt on the internet and becomes a sensation - we do the same outside a greengrocers and we get arrested. It isn't on, really. And what's more, a company has just offered Miley Cyrus a million dollars to become the face of its condom range. We're so angry! Don't these people know that becoming the face of a range of condoms is our sole life's aim? We'd be so much better at stopping amorous couples from getting pregnant than stupid Miley Cyrus. Or maybe not. In retrospect, getting Miley Cyrus to advertise contraception would be just about the best way to promote teen abstinence - imagine the phrase 'coated with a tingling lubricant' intoned in Miley Cyrus' ancient emphysemic shriek. When would that make you want to have sex again? Never, that's when.
We're so jealous of Miley Cyrus. She poses in a wet T-shirt on the internet and becomes a sensation - we do the same outside a greengrocers and we get arrested. It isn't on, really. And what's more, a company has just offered Miley Cyrus a million dollars to become the face of its condom range. We're so angry! Don't these people know that becoming the face of a range of condoms is our sole life's aim? We'd be so much better at stopping amorous couples from getting pregnant than stupid Miley Cyrus. Or maybe not. In retrospect, getting Miley Cyrus to advertise contraception would be just about the best way to promote teen abstinence - imagine the phrase 'coated with a tingling lubricant' intoned in Miley Cyrus' ancient emphysemic shriek. When would that make you want to have sex again? Never, that's when.
Miley Cyrus Sorry For Being All Shrieky And Young And Whatever
Hey you! If you like news stories about people you've barely heard of possibly being somewhat rude about people you've never heard of, are you ever in for a treat! And, since this story contains a public apology, you can bet your balls that it features Miley Cyrus as well. And it does! Miley Cyrus has apologised for a YouTube video of her apparently mocking Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato, who are apparently Disney stars or something. Honestly, not a clue. Anyway, we have the offending Miley Cyrus video for you after the jump. Chances are it'll make just as little sense to you as did to us, but at least it proves one thing beyond reason - that Miley Cyrus has the speaking voice of an abusive, chainsmoking pensioner.
Hey you! If you like news stories about people you've barely heard of possibly being somewhat rude about people you've never heard of, are you ever in for a treat! And, since this story contains a public apology, you can bet your balls that it features Miley Cyrus as well. And it does! Miley Cyrus has apologised for a YouTube video of her apparently mocking Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato, who are apparently Disney stars or something. Honestly, not a clue. Anyway, we have the offending Miley Cyrus video for you after the jump. Chances are it'll make just as little sense to you as did to us, but at least it proves one thing beyond reason - that Miley Cyrus has the speaking voice of an abusive, chainsmoking pensioner.
Buy Miley Cyrus On eBay. Also Buy Her Clothes.
Now we know you are all probably gonna judge us, but keep in mind that Miley Cyrus is really, really mature for her age. Her and us could probably talk for hours about the things we have in common - ownership of a bicycle, for instance. Yes, that's it. We could talk about the ownership of bicycles. Well wherever our fantastic conversation is gonna lead us - it's gonna lead us there soon. After all, we will do whatever it takes to ensure our eBay bid for a date with her is the one that reins supreme. It better anyway. We just bought a new button-down shirt at Wal-Mart, and we're having our favorite pants professionally pressed. We'd be embarrassed to have gone all out like that for nothing.
Now we know you are all probably gonna judge us, but keep in mind that Miley Cyrus is really, really mature for her age. Her and us could probably talk for hours about the things we have in common - ownership of a bicycle, for instance. Yes, that's it. We could talk about the ownership of bicycles. Well wherever our fantastic conversation is gonna lead us - it's gonna lead us there soon. After all, we will do whatever it takes to ensure our eBay bid for a date with her is the one that reins supreme. It better anyway. We just bought a new button-down shirt at Wal-Mart, and we're having our favorite pants professionally pressed. We'd be embarrassed to have gone all out like that for nothing.
