Raise The Alarm! Britney Spears Staggers Out Of Rehab

When Britney Spears reflects on her life, she'll see this last meltdown- and rehab-filled month as the toughest of her life, narrowly edging out the month where Britney Spears discovered that there is no tooth fairy and gas doesn't naturally smell.

But now the worst part is over for Britney Spears, as it's been reported that she's left the Promises rehab facility in Malibu after just under a month of treatment. Everything from now on will be a cakewalk for Britney Spears now that she's looked deep within herself during her testing stay in rehab - from walking past a car without feeling the urge to batter it in with an umbrella to rebuilding her musical career even though her new bald-headed red-eyed appearance makes all the children cry, Britney Spears will probably be partially A-OKish. Probably.

Different people have different breaking points. Some people go to rehab after realising that their drug use is costing them the love of their family, some people go to rehab because their drinking is becoming habitual and some people go to rehab because they, um, said a bad word about a gay chap. And Britney Spears is no different - Britney Spears decided to go to rehab because she shaved off all her hair, went to a hospital to scream for help, went to rehab only to leave rehab again after a day and then smashed in a car with a brolly.

And it seems like keeping a force of nature like Britney Spears under control in rehab was a hard task for the Promises staff during her tenure there too - as well as all the reported tantrums and unlikely love affairs there was also the small case of stopping Britney Spears from writing '666' on her head with a pen, running around rehab screaming to everyone that she was the Antichrist and attempting bedsheet suicide.

However, something - we're guessing Daniel Baldwin - has apparently shocked Britney Spears into suddenly getting better enough to leave rehab for good, as Forbes reports:

Britney Spears has left rehab. The pop star checked out of Promises Malibu Alcohol and Drug Rehab Treatment Facility "after successfully completing their program," the pop star's manager, Larry Rudolph, said in a statement released by Jive Records late Tuesday. "We ask that the media respects her privacy as well as those of her family and friends at this time."

So now that she's out of rehab it looks like Britney Spears will have to slowly piece her life back together. Luckily Britney has the support of estranged husband Kevin Federline, who has been going out of his way to take his kids to see Britney Spears in rehab and even shave his own head in order to get a bigger divorce settlement show his solidarity for Britney.

It's key, though, that Britney Spears remembers what she went through in rehab and doesn't allow herself to go off the rails now she's back in the free world again. Nobody is expecting a full recovery to happen instantly, though - Britney Spears will need to take a babysteps approach to getting better, maybe by only vomiting into people's hands once a week and showing her vagina to everyone exclusively on national holidays. That kind of thing.

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Britney Spears Leaves Rehab - Forbes