Articles tagged with: Twilight
Teen Choice Awards Won By… Oh, You Can Probably Guess
Without irony or hyperbole, the Teen Choice Awards sounds like the worst place on the face of the planet. Why? Because Robert Pattinson was there. And The Jonas Brothers were there. And it was held yesterday, in Los Angeles in the summer. And Robert Pattinson and The Jonas Brothers are famed for making teenage girls urinate uncontrollably. And the sun is famed for its ability to evaporate liquid. So put it together and what do you get? Piss clouds. You get thousands of people at the Teen Choice Awards inhaling giant clouds of each other's piss. Plus: Miley Cyrus! Ugh.
Without irony or hyperbole, the Teen Choice Awards sounds like the worst place on the face of the planet. Why? Because Robert Pattinson was there. And The Jonas Brothers were there. And it was held yesterday, in Los Angeles in the summer. And Robert Pattinson and The Jonas Brothers are famed for making teenage girls urinate uncontrollably. And the sun is famed for its ability to evaporate liquid. So put it together and what do you get? Piss clouds. You get thousands of people at the Teen Choice Awards inhaling giant clouds of each other's piss. Plus: Miley Cyrus! Ugh.
Everyone From Twilight Still Banging On About Rachelle Lefevre
If you're a Twilight fan, you've got an important choice - do you prefer Bryce Dallas Howard or Rachelle Lefevre? OK, it's not that important. As far as things that Twilight fans worry about go, who plays Victoria is hardly up there with their chronic incontinence or habit of rocking backwards and forwards while listening to Paramore and sobbing because Robert Pattinson doesn't even know they exist. However, some Twilight stars have spoken out about Rachelle Lefevre's sacking. And by 'spoken out' we mean 'diplomatically tiptoed around it because they'll also get the boot if they say the wrong thing'. Obviously.
If you're a Twilight fan, you've got an important choice - do you prefer Bryce Dallas Howard or Rachelle Lefevre? OK, it's not that important. As far as things that Twilight fans worry about go, who plays Victoria is hardly up there with their chronic incontinence or habit of rocking backwards and forwards while listening to Paramore and sobbing because Robert Pattinson doesn't even know they exist. However, some Twilight stars have spoken out about Rachelle Lefevre's sacking. And by 'spoken out' we mean 'diplomatically tiptoed around it because they'll also get the boot if they say the wrong thing'. Obviously.
Twilight: Eclipse – Rachelle Lefevre Gets A Strop On
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse was probably going to be the biggest film of Rachelle Lefevre's entire career. Not the best film, mind you. After all, if you looked back on your life and realised that its defining highpoint involved playing a grumpy lady vampire in a terrible kid's film alongside a man with a face like stern twig, you'd probably consider your entire time on Earth to be a catastrophic failure. But despite that, Eclipse was going to be Rachelle Lefevere's biggest film. But it won't be now - she's been replaced with Bryce Dallas Howard. Rachelle Lefevre's reaction? Blind fury.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse was probably going to be the biggest film of Rachelle Lefevre's entire career. Not the best film, mind you. After all, if you looked back on your life and realised that its defining highpoint involved playing a grumpy lady vampire in a terrible kid's film alongside a man with a face like stern twig, you'd probably consider your entire time on Earth to be a catastrophic failure. But despite that, Eclipse was going to be Rachelle Lefevere's biggest film. But it won't be now - she's been replaced with Bryce Dallas Howard. Rachelle Lefevre's reaction? Blind fury.
Twilight: Eclipse – Bryce Dallas Howard Is Your New Hate Target, Fangirls
Oh no. Twilight has started swapping its actors around again, and you know how furious that makes its fans. So who's out now? Has Taylor Lautner been elbowed? Has the recession forced producers to replace two of the New Moon Wolf Pack with some rudimentary kebab-meat statues of Adam Rickett? Has Robert Pattinson quit Twilight because he's tired wiping teeny urine off his front door every morning? No. It's the character of Victoria - Rachelle Lefevre is out and Bryce Dallas Howard is in. We suppose we should draft up that 'Robert Pattinson gets Bryce Dallas Howard pregnant' article, then.
Oh no. Twilight has started swapping its actors around again, and you know how furious that makes its fans. So who's out now? Has Taylor Lautner been elbowed? Has the recession forced producers to replace two of the New Moon Wolf Pack with some rudimentary kebab-meat statues of Adam Rickett? Has Robert Pattinson quit Twilight because he's tired wiping teeny urine off his front door every morning? No. It's the character of Victoria - Rachelle Lefevre is out and Bryce Dallas Howard is in. We suppose we should draft up that 'Robert Pattinson gets Bryce Dallas Howard pregnant' article, then.
New Moon: The Movie That Will Stop You Liking Radiohead
The worst thing about Twilight was probably the music. No - Kristen Stewart. No - Robert Pattinson. No - everything. But the music was pretty awful. Fake-angsty nonsense, all of it - from that Linkin Park song that sounds like the Self Harm preset on Fred Durst's old Casio to two songs by Paramore, presumably included so that people would remember Twilight as the movie with the really crappy soundtrack in case the rest of it turned out forgettable. But the New Moon soundtrack is going to be different - Thom Yorke from Radiohead wants to appear it. We really wish we were joking.
The worst thing about Twilight was probably the music. No - Kristen Stewart. No - Robert Pattinson. No - everything. But the music was pretty awful. Fake-angsty nonsense, all of it - from that Linkin Park song that sounds like the Self Harm preset on Fred Durst's old Casio to two songs by Paramore, presumably included so that people would remember Twilight as the movie with the really crappy soundtrack in case the rest of it turned out forgettable. But the New Moon soundtrack is going to be different - Thom Yorke from Radiohead wants to appear it. We really wish we were joking.
The Top Five Worst Things About Twilight
For most sane people Twilight is synonymous with a lot of things, none of them good. But here is a rundown of all the things that give this awful franchise its faecal aftertaste. Like vomit in an open sewer or Paris Hilton in a Uwe Boll movie, here is proof that you can make a bad thing worse. Ladies and gentlemen, the top five worst things about Twilight...
For most sane people Twilight is synonymous with a lot of things, none of them good. But here is a rundown of all the things that give this awful franchise its faecal aftertaste. Like vomit in an open sewer or Paris Hilton in a Uwe Boll movie, here is proof that you can make a bad thing worse. Ladies and gentlemen, the top five worst things about Twilight...
Robert Pattinson Shares His Vampiric Seed With Kristen Stewart. Maybe.
It's sure to come as a shock, but try not to go for your gun straight away, whether it's to go on a killing rampage or to turn the barrel on yourself. Just hold on. You can get through this. It's damn hard though. We're struggling ourselves to come to terms with the news. Be comforted in the knowledge that hecklerspray is doing everything in its power to get to the bottom of this. For you see, Robert "Rob" Pattinson has gone and got Kristen Stewart pregnant, if reports are to be believed. Tweens and spinsters: he's cheated on you.
It's sure to come as a shock, but try not to go for your gun straight away, whether it's to go on a killing rampage or to turn the barrel on yourself. Just hold on. You can get through this. It's damn hard though. We're struggling ourselves to come to terms with the news. Be comforted in the knowledge that hecklerspray is doing everything in its power to get to the bottom of this. For you see, Robert "Rob" Pattinson has gone and got Kristen Stewart pregnant, if reports are to be believed. Tweens and spinsters: he's cheated on you.
Top 26 Vampire Movies
Why do we love vampire movies so much? Vampires are essentially pale, scary-looking monsters who dress in black and drain the life-force out of anyone who crosses their path. Maybe Hollywood should make a movie about emo lawyers or tax inspectors. Should go down a scream at the box office. Anyway, the point is we love vampires. Can't get enough of them.
Why do we love vampire movies so much? Vampires are essentially pale, scary-looking monsters who dress in black and drain the life-force out of anyone who crosses their path. Maybe Hollywood should make a movie about emo lawyers or tax inspectors. Should go down a scream at the box office. Anyway, the point is we love vampires. Can't get enough of them.
