There’s nothing weirder than finding people who are so obsessed with something that they’re willing to go to any length of internet-based conflict in order to defend their nonsensical beliefs. It is a trait most often seen in fans of Muse, Twilight, INXS, Queen and, quite inexplicably, Larry David. There are few things that hecklerspray writers love more than these people. The ‘whine’ of fans.
And so we come to our weekly perusal of our post, the time that- for us- is the closest we’ll ever come to having sex with Ann Widdicombe. We approach the post bag with a mixture of terror and morbid curiosity with only a modicum of sexual excitement, we reach out our shaking, clammy paws.
Find out what becomes of us over the jump…
Remember to click that HD button…
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d says
First off, no one with more than one brain cell would refer to you dolts as journalists. Surprised that reader even knows how to type.
Next, look up words before you use them inappropriately and make a fool of yourself. Your use of the word redundant completely out of context almost made me wet my pants.
On a high note, this guy has MUCH better enunciation than Mof. Thanks for that. Mof always sounds like he’s drunk.
stella says
Oh my! Moffy has cloned himself, and probably more than once!
Oh for fucks sake says
Will you lot go back to your writing prose and give up on the “I wanna be a fruitcake YouTube star”?! Fuck a duck I’m already sick of the video bullshit, not nearly as funny. We already know MOF is a twisted dick, no need to have pictures too. Better to imagine him sitting there in his underoos, beer stained shirt, and a pint sittingon f side with drool marks on thru the scruff beard than to see it. Not mention it’s much easier to screw off at work by reading than listening.
Cookie Monster says
“Sounds like”? How very charitable of you. That brings-up a tremendous script idea. Take The King’s Speech, add a heavy dose of Leaving Las Vegas, and perhaps a little Fear and Loathing is Las Vegas, set it during WWII, and have it center on a plucky gossip blogger (oh, hmm, okay, make it post-apocalyptic) who yearns to transition to video postings. Add some Muse, and a muse, to amuse, pepper it with Slumdog Millionaire feel-goodness, et voila!
Meh, I think ‘redundant’ and ‘irrelevant’ have met inside the blender that is contemporary ‘grish. How ironic. Let us now strike Hecklersprocket off of our ‘bastions of the Queen’s English’ list. I’ll inform Oxford post-haste.
Michael Park says
I’m going to whisper this week’s so that it’s both easier to listen to at work and beautifully erotic.
Michael Park says
In fairness, I reckon the fact that I fawningly stroke the paper-face of Stu Heritage is much more likely to make me look like a fool than misusing a word in the middle of an unscripted rant.
Also, Mof is always drunk.
mark says
Please keep this chap. His voice is substantially less ridiculous than Mof’s.
I still preferred the text version, though.
Cookie Monster says
Perhaps a transcription could be made available. The UN’s crack squad of forensic translators can be brought-in to decipher the parts that are obviously in some ancient pixie dialect. There should also be a comic book version, and perhaps a collection of comments published in paperback (or a coffee table book!). Ohhh, let’s not forget Flash animation (I hear it’s really catching-on lately).
Then there’s Mr Beautifully Erotic’s idear up there. That will be a podcast, without a doubt. Hobos everywhere will be able take it with them to their steamy grate of a newspaper bed under the bridge and fade into dreamland whilst listening to the dulcet tones of Michael Park’s whispers. If they happen to get shimmed that night, at least they will have enjoyed one last moment of bliss (especially if they swapped the iPod for crack and moonshine before tucky-bye-bye).
Wait, what? Carry-on….