Articles tagged with: Guy Ritchie
Madonna Divorce: Giant Lawyer-Monsters Hired
So, to recap - Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting divorced, and they'll be divorced by Christmas and everyone will be happy forever. All true. Apart from the bits about the divorce being over by Christmas and people experiencing any sensation other than bitterly violent hatred. Because, for all the talk of a brief and amicable divorce settlement process, both Madonna and Guy Ritchie have hired some kickass divorce lawyers. Madonna has hired Fiona Shackleton, the divorce lawyer who stopped Heather Mills from getting the huge settlement she wanted when she divorced Paul McCartney; with Guy Ritchie plumping for Lady Helen Ward, the woman responsible for securing Britain's largest-ever divorce payout for one of her clients. What does this mean? It means that the Madonna/ Guy Ritchie divorce is going to go on for so long that we'll all feel like killing ourselves soon. But you probably knew that already.
So, to recap - Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting divorced, and they'll be divorced by Christmas and everyone will be happy forever. All true. Apart from the bits about the divorce being over by Christmas and people experiencing any sensation other than bitterly violent hatred. Because, for all the talk of a brief and amicable divorce settlement process, both Madonna and Guy Ritchie have hired some kickass divorce lawyers. Madonna has hired Fiona Shackleton, the divorce lawyer who stopped Heather Mills from getting the huge settlement she wanted when she divorced Paul McCartney; with Guy Ritchie plumping for Lady Helen Ward, the woman responsible for securing Britain's largest-ever divorce payout for one of her clients. What does this mean? It means that the Madonna/ Guy Ritchie divorce is going to go on for so long that we'll all feel like killing ourselves soon. But you probably knew that already.
Madonna/Guy Ritchie Divorce: And There’s Your Confirmation
Well that wasn't long - just hours after Madonna and Guy Ritchie were thought to be divorcing, Madonna and Guy Ritchie are divorcing. Madonna's spokeswoman Liz Rosenberg has just issued the statement we've all been waiting for - the one that says Madonna and Guy Ritchie were living a hate-filled lie and that their Christmas present to one another this year will be that they both get to legally have sex with other people because, yes, they're getting divorced. Notice, though, that the divorce statement came from Madonna's spokeswoman as opposed to a joint statement from Guy Ritchie and Madonna together. Wow. We're starting to get the feeling that those two might not actually get along.
Well that wasn't long - just hours after Madonna and Guy Ritchie were thought to be divorcing, Madonna and Guy Ritchie are divorcing. Madonna's spokeswoman Liz Rosenberg has just issued the statement we've all been waiting for - the one that says Madonna and Guy Ritchie were living a hate-filled lie and that their Christmas present to one another this year will be that they both get to legally have sex with other people because, yes, they're getting divorced. Notice, though, that the divorce statement came from Madonna's spokeswoman as opposed to a joint statement from Guy Ritchie and Madonna together. Wow. We're starting to get the feeling that those two might not actually get along.
Madonna & Guy Ritchie: Divorced By Christmas
Everyone loves photos of Madonna and Guy Ritchie clutching each other's hands in a grimly unconvincing demonstration of love, don't they. So make the most of them while you can, because you might not see any more of them. According to reports, Madonna and Guy Ritchie now hate each other so much that they only communicate through staff, and they're both keen on getting a divorce finalised by Christmas. This really is a win-win - if they're not getting divorced, we get to look at more photos of Guy Ritchie and Madonna in public trying to pretend that they like one another. And if they are getting divorced? Well, that means the rest of us have a shot at the gnarly-clawed single mother and the potato-faced idiot that have just come onto the market. Everyone's happy.
Everyone loves photos of Madonna and Guy Ritchie clutching each other's hands in a grimly unconvincing demonstration of love, don't they. So make the most of them while you can, because you might not see any more of them. According to reports, Madonna and Guy Ritchie now hate each other so much that they only communicate through staff, and they're both keen on getting a divorce finalised by Christmas. This really is a win-win - if they're not getting divorced, we get to look at more photos of Guy Ritchie and Madonna in public trying to pretend that they like one another. And if they are getting divorced? Well, that means the rest of us have a shot at the gnarly-clawed single mother and the potato-faced idiot that have just come onto the market. Everyone's happy.
A-Rod D-nates C-ash T-o M-dona C-rity. Madonna, That is. Not Maradona.
What's the last thing you want to do when you're publicly denying any kind of relationship with another high-profile person, while at the same time dealing with a particularly expensive divorce? If you said 'the last thing you would want to do when you're publicly denying any kind of relationship with another high-profile person, while at the same time dealing with a particularly expensive divorce would be to donate $500,000 to said high-profile person's charity' then you would be correct. You would also have used an overly wordy response. But you would be right, and we won't take that away from you. It would seem that this was yet another lesson in the world of today that Alex 'A-Rod' Rodriguez was never taught, seeing as he's only ruddy well gone and agreed to donate half a million dollars to Madonna's charity, Raising Malawi, while he's both rumoured to be more than friends with Madge and is part way through E-vorcing his wife. Which is costing him a lot of money. He could at least have waited a bit, the big, silly, baseball man.
What's the last thing you want to do when you're publicly denying any kind of relationship with another high-profile person, while at the same time dealing with a particularly expensive divorce? If you said 'the last thing you would want to do when you're publicly denying any kind of relationship with another high-profile person, while at the same time dealing with a particularly expensive divorce would be to donate $500,000 to said high-profile person's charity' then you would be correct. You would also have used an overly wordy response. But you would be right, and we won't take that away from you. It would seem that this was yet another lesson in the world of today that Alex 'A-Rod' Rodriguez was never taught, seeing as he's only ruddy well gone and agreed to donate half a million dollars to Madonna's charity, Raising Malawi, while he's both rumoured to be more than friends with Madge and is part way through E-vorcing his wife. Which is costing him a lot of money. He could at least have waited a bit, the big, silly, baseball man.
Madonna and Guy Ritchie Sink to New Low. Allegedly…
Madonna and Guy Ritchie may well have a stake in one of the most downright evil and low practices we have ever encountered. Yes, a pub that the couple have an investment in is being investigated for alleged price irregularities with their beer. The Punchbowl, in which the troubled couple have around a 20 pe rcent stake in, is under investigation by Westminster Council after it was claimed that they arbitrarily changed their beer prices for regulars and non-regulars. There are crimes, there are annoyances, there are drink drivers, racist slurs and tax evaders. And below them all, inhabiting the worst, lowest, most disgusting plateau of Hades itself are those that willingly fix beer prices. If that's what Madonna and Guy Ritchie's pub has done then... well... we don't know what to think. It's angried up hecklerspray's blood, that's for sure.
Madonna and Guy Ritchie may well have a stake in one of the most downright evil and low practices we have ever encountered. Yes, a pub that the couple have an investment in is being investigated for alleged price irregularities with their beer. The Punchbowl, in which the troubled couple have around a 20 pe rcent stake in, is under investigation by Westminster Council after it was claimed that they arbitrarily changed their beer prices for regulars and non-regulars. There are crimes, there are annoyances, there are drink drivers, racist slurs and tax evaders. And below them all, inhabiting the worst, lowest, most disgusting plateau of Hades itself are those that willingly fix beer prices. If that's what Madonna and Guy Ritchie's pub has done then... well... we don't know what to think. It's angried up hecklerspray's blood, that's for sure.
A-Rod’s E-Vorce From C-Rod Progressing in a Dull Fashion
Divorce is never a fun thing - a lot of us have experienced it either first hand or through parents. So it's a good thing that celebrity divorces are full of such fun and delights to keep us all entertained, helping us forget that the whole experience can be physically and mentally exhausting, as well as devastating on an emotional level. Thank Thor then, as it would seem that A-Rod's divorce is something of a trailblazer when it comes to this new breed of entertaining divorces, or e-vorces, as we're not really going to call them. And for once it's not all down to the involvement of Madonna.
Divorce is never a fun thing - a lot of us have experienced it either first hand or through parents. So it's a good thing that celebrity divorces are full of such fun and delights to keep us all entertained, helping us forget that the whole experience can be physically and mentally exhausting, as well as devastating on an emotional level. Thank Thor then, as it would seem that A-Rod's divorce is something of a trailblazer when it comes to this new breed of entertaining divorces, or e-vorces, as we're not really going to call them. And for once it's not all down to the involvement of Madonna.
Madonna Still Not Admitting Defeat About Her Hopeless Marriage
Ask anyone - anyone - to tell you a fact about Madonna and either they'll mention her grotty sex life or her much-rumoured divorce. OK, maybe not anyone. Ask Madonna and, while it's entirely possible she'll wheel out a hilarious bedroom anecdote, there's no way on Earth that she'll bring up her divorce. That's because, despite relentless gossip to the contrary, Madonna is still maintaining that she's not going to divorce Guy Ritchie. And that's fact. Madonna's brother, who hasn't really seen Madonna that much in almost a decade, said so. And facts don't get any more factier than that.
Ask anyone - anyone - to tell you a fact about Madonna and either they'll mention her grotty sex life or her much-rumoured divorce. OK, maybe not anyone. Ask Madonna and, while it's entirely possible she'll wheel out a hilarious bedroom anecdote, there's no way on Earth that she'll bring up her divorce. That's because, despite relentless gossip to the contrary, Madonna is still maintaining that she's not going to divorce Guy Ritchie. And that's fact. Madonna's brother, who hasn't really seen Madonna that much in almost a decade, said so. And facts don't get any more factier than that.
Robert Downey Jr To Star In Poo-Sounding Guy Ritchie Movie
So you're Robert Downey Jr, perhaps the biggest movie star around right now. The world's your oyster - so what's your next move? After the gigantic box office haul of Iron Man - one that's likely to be repeated once Tropic Thunder is released later this summer - Robert Downey Jr can star in any movie he wants. But what movie has Robert Downey Jr decided to star in? A Sherlock Holmes movie, that's what. No, not the Sacha Baron Cohen/Will Ferrell Sherlock Holmes movie that was triumphantly announced earlier this week. Another Sherlock Holmes movie. A Sherlock Holmes movie where Sherlock Holmes is a musclebound action hero. A Sherlock Holmes movie where Sherlock Holmes is a musclebound action hero directed by Guy Ritchie. And there was us thinking that Robert Downey Jr had stopped taking drugs.
So you're Robert Downey Jr, perhaps the biggest movie star around right now. The world's your oyster - so what's your next move? After the gigantic box office haul of Iron Man - one that's likely to be repeated once Tropic Thunder is released later this summer - Robert Downey Jr can star in any movie he wants. But what movie has Robert Downey Jr decided to star in? A Sherlock Holmes movie, that's what. No, not the Sacha Baron Cohen/Will Ferrell Sherlock Holmes movie that was triumphantly announced earlier this week. Another Sherlock Holmes movie. A Sherlock Holmes movie where Sherlock Holmes is a musclebound action hero. A Sherlock Holmes movie where Sherlock Holmes is a musclebound action hero directed by Guy Ritchie. And there was us thinking that Robert Downey Jr had stopped taking drugs.
