Divorce is never a fun thing – a lot of us have experienced it either first hand or through parents.
So it’s a good thing that celebrity divorces are full of such fun and delights to keep us all entertained, helping us forget that the whole experience can be physically and mentally exhausting, as well as devastating on an emotional level.
Thank Thor then, as it would seem that A-Rod’s divorce is something of a trailblazer when it comes to this new breed of entertaining divorces, or e-vorces, as we’re not really going to call them. And for once it’s not all down to the involvement of Madonna.
Yes, the man who is famous because he hits balls with a stick is in the throes of a divorce to get away from his wife, C-Rod, or whatever she’s called. Far from being the dull, lifeless and thoroughly heartbreaking incident that divorce normally tends to be, this one has been full of fun and surprises for the whole family.
Who could forget the evil mind control Madonna apparently used on A-Rod? The fact that the ancient pop-harpy is his effing soulmate? Or, more recently, the involvement of Black Ops specialists, MI6 and the CIA, in trying to help A-Rod’s side of the divorce case?
Brilliant.
But, as with everything that’s ever happened in the world, the goodness runs out. The entertainment fades. The curtains draw. And now we’re left with Alex Rodriguez and his soon-to-be-ex wife Cynthia bickering in semi-private over some petty little details. They’re not even blowing things out of proportion, or going to court and doing the public service of answering embarrassing questions. It’s so selfish of them.
Yes, we’re back to the gold standard of any divorce case – money, who gets it, whether he actually cheated on her, who gets the kids and the matter of a pre-nuptial agreement. She wants money, joint custody and for him to admit he was the master of infidelity.
He wants his money, his kids, his house and to ignore the infidelity claims.
Can’t we even get one more ridiculously overblown story out of this? Hopefully involving another strange religion, a bit more of Madonna and her gap-toothed mug and possibly some allegations of inappropriate use of a baseball bat? That would make the whole thing far more entertaining for us at hecklerspray.
And obviously that’s what really matters here – entertainment value.
But what about Madonna? Is she waiting outside the courthouse ready to lock A-Rod in a hypno-mesma-stare of doom, thus finally stealing him away forever? Alas, no, she’s attending some kind of spiritual marriage guidance, probably involving space rays or something, to try and stay with her beloved hubby Guy Ritchie… sorry, we can’t help but snigger at that.
Best of luck to all involved. We sincerely hope something monumentous occurs, so we can all have a good hard laugh about it. We were getting used to the world of e-vorces (sorry), now it seems to have gone a bit… well… normal.
Shame.
Shooty* says
How about referring to Madonna as M-rod in the context of this story? And Guy Ritchie as G-Cock?