Posts tagged as:

charity

Madonna Has A New Film Out Which Will Be Rubbish (Here’s Why)

by Mof Gimmers

Madonna. She made a lot of great pop records. A LOT. She’s a successful business woman (when she’s not setting up failed gyms in Mexico) and owns a record label that launched another bunch of stars. However, one thing she never got right was the movies. Not that this has stopped her from releasing a [...]

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Badvertising: Let’s Raise Age Awareness By Humiliating The Elderly

by Michael Park

It’s not easy to be nasty professionally. For a start, people automatically assume that you have no heart and that if you do, it’s a blackened, flaking husk that makes people unable to spend time in the same room as you. Admittedly for the most part, that’s true. Sometimes, you also have to poke fun [...]

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School In Malawi Collapses Thanks To Stupid Madonna

by Mof Gimmers

Madonna is a maniac. She is. You knew that right? She’s gone on a rampage in Malawi and destroyed a school building just because she isn’t as successful or credible as she used to be. It’s an awful, awful state of affairs. Other schools in impoverished African countries have been put on high-alert as officials [...]

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TV Review: Red Nose Day 2011

by Justrestingmyeyes

Let’s get one thing straight right here and now. Comic Relief this year raised £74 million for charity, a large proportion of that money given by ordinary people like you, and that fit girl who works at Costa, and the oaf who sits opposite you at work that reeks of Lynx Africa and once gave [...]

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Beth Ditto Has Original Opinion, Or Maybe Just Looked It Up On Wikipedia

by Justrestingmyeyes

It’s difficult to imagine, but the life of Beth Ditto – who, because we’re such hideously clever dicks at hecklerspray, we will hereafter refer to as Beth Beth – is not just one long procession of standing in the way of Kate Moss, ripping all her clothes off whenever a glance is thrown in her [...]

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Sainsbury’s Will Perform For You Like Monkeys Thanks To Comic Relief

by hecklerspray staff

Charity! It’s everywhere at the minute isn’t it? That’s because we’re nearing Comic Relief o’clock, which means children will be able to go to school in their normal clothes (and thereby get mocked by the more fashionable kids, who will later regret their attire when looking back at old photos) and people hold gigantic novelty [...]

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TwitRelief Lets You Buy Celebs But Not For That Kind Of Relief

by Justrestingmyeyes

God, what a laugh we all have on Twitter! Don’t we? Isn’t it a total laugh? All those people we’ve met! OK, not met, most of them. But we follow them, and we feel we know them all intimately, because we now know when they tried Marmite cereal bars for the first time, what song [...]

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Mariah Carey Isn’t Exactly Giving Her Gaddafi Money Back, But She Does Feel Kinda Bad About It

by Mof Gimmers

Beyonce and Nelly Furtado have stepped forward, held their hands up and said “Ah. Didn’t really know we were playing gigs for the family of despotic leader Gaddafi and getting paid with blood money. Soz.” And as such, the pair have given their pay cheques to charity, thereby, restoring a trace of belief in the [...]

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Plan B Thinks Drugs Are Just Great And Hates His Dad

by Mof Gimmers

Plan B may have “conquered soul music” (AAARRRRGH) and is now planning to conquer reggae with his new LP (AAAAARGH! MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE!), but he hasn’t always been the post-millennia answer to Brian Harvey. No, once upon a time, he was scrotey drug dealer who thought it was okay to stab people. Not our [...]

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Anonymous Philanthropists U2 Fund Development Of 2020 Irish Emo Scene

by Si Sharp

The best thing about being super-rich is that, rather than let governments decide how to spend your tax, you can just keep hold of it, then donate some to a groovy cause, whilst getting baskets of praise and verbal fellatio for making a really exciting thing happen. Imagine a world where we could all do [...]

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