Madonna is a maniac. She is. You knew that right? She’s gone on a rampage in Malawi and destroyed a school building just because she isn’t as successful or credible as she used to be. It’s an awful, awful state of affairs.
Other schools in impoverished African countries have been put on high-alert as officials worry that Madge could be hellbent on causing catastrophic havoc throughout the fine continent.
With her cold, lifeless eyes and her sinewy, gym-pumped and rage-fed muscles, Madonna took the school down in much the same way as Guile beats cars up in the special level on Street Fighter 2. What will stop her? The death of Lady GaGa?
Oh wait. What?
Oh.
It appears we have the wrong end of the stick. This appears to be a tale of admin, which is way less interesting.
Basically, the 3000 year old megastar planned to build a school for impoverished girls in Malawi, but alas, it has failed after the board of directors of the charity, Raising Malawi, were taken over by a caretaker board.
That’s right! A CARETAKER BOARD!
Madonna has, regrettably, stumped up $3.8 million for the project. She could have spent that money on really cool stuff like a robot cat that fires missiles shaped like Guy Ritchie from its anus. Alas, she’s spent it on an imaginary school.
Plans to build the $15 million school for about 400 girls have now been abandoned.
According to The New York Times, Michael Berg, a co-director of the Kabbalah Centre and the co-founder of Raising Malawi, said:
“A thoughtful decision has been made to discontinue plans for the Raising Malawi Academy for Girls, as it was originally conceived”
The Borderline singer said:
“‘There’s a real education crisis in Malawi. Sixty-seven per cent of girls don’t go to secondary school, and this is simply unacceptable. Our team is going to work hard to address this in every way we can.”
And then she went and smashed up a school in America because they can afford it, before dropping her trousers, taking an astonishingly lengthy piss into a bowler hat, which she then threw over a passing police officer.
That might be a lie.
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