The average American in the street might not be able to tell David and Victoria Beckham apart from any of the other moronically skinny, goonishly pouting, spectacularly self-obsessed LA celebrities, but at least the celebrities themselves can.
And on Sunday, literally every single famous person in America attended the party thrown for David and Victoria Beckham by Tom Cruise and Will Smith at the Los Angeles Museum of Contemporary Arts. Eva Longoria, Bruce Willis, Jim Carrey, Wesley Snipes and Matthew Perry were among the guests who attended the effortlessly classy welcome party for the Beckhams surrounded by important works of postwar feminist art that at once question the nature of art while probing the emotional repercussions of art for art's sake.
Don't worry, we expect that someone was there to make balloon animals for David Beckham so he didn't feel left out.
The American and British perception of David and Victoria Beckham couldn't be more different. In America they're just the newest batch of fame-hungry wannabes who'll let themselves get chased around by a pig if it means someone will put them on the front of a magazine, while in Britain David and Victoria Beckham are quite an old batch of fame-hungry wannabes who sell dodgy perfume in their spare time.
But try telling that to the stars of Hollywood – they bloody love the Beckhams. The great and the good of LA saw the Beckhams' paparazzi-flanked touchdown into LAX, heard the stories about Victoria Beckham's prohibitively expensive wardrobe, watched Victoria Beckham: Coming To America, quickly forgot about Victoria Beckham: Coming To America because it wasn't very good and decided they wanted in. That's why pretty much all of them wanted to attend Tom Cruise and Will Smith's David Beckham party on Sunday. Access Hollywood feels the need to list the guests who turned up to the David and Victoria Beckham party and tell us what they wore and stuff:
The celeb-o-meter went into overdrive when David & Victoria showed up flanked by Tom, Katie, Will & Jada. The six superstars posed as a group amidst a blinding barrage of flashbulbs… Victoria, looking incredible in a tiny black cocktail dress, posed for the clamoring photographers with her handsome husband… As the six-pack headed inside, other guests began to arrive en masse. Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore hurried in, meeting up with Bruce Willis and his date, and friends Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy. Oscar winners Jamie Foxx and Forest Whitaker were there, as well as Wesley Snipes, Quincy Jones, Tyrese Gibson, Matthew Perry, Taye Diggs, Adrian Grenier, Queen Latifah, Alyson Hannigan and Kristen Bell.
So basically it was just a re-run of the Tom Cruise/ Katie Holmes wedding with more feminist art and an equal amount of Oprah Winfrey. According to reports, scenes outside the Los Angeles Museum of Contemporary Art were chaotic, with police holding fans back, roads being closed off and helicopters zooming around the skies above the party.
Of course, it's been easy for David Beckham to fit into his new LA life because he's had the help of Tom Cruise, who not only persuaded David Beckham to play in LA but promised to make a film about David Beckham's life, showed baby Suri Cruise to David Beckham before anyone else and has now treated David Beckham to a lavish welcoming party surrounded by everyone you'd ever need to know in LA. That's the sort of friendship you just can't buy.
Alternatively David Beckham may have worked out that he's aggressively being wooed into joining the Church Of Scientology and everyone else just turned up because they'd attend a party for a diarrhetic goat if they thought it'd make them look cool for even a microsecond. Either one's fine.
Read more:
Beckham Bash Brings Out Hollywood's Biggest Stars – Access Hollywood
Vicky says
Hopefully Hollywood will get over themselves when they realize they have seen all their is to Victoria. It has been said she went ‘all shy’ when Wannabe was played and would not sing. She cannot sing that is why. Shyness has got nothing to do with it. If she was shy she would cover up more – she is desperate for fame but sadly cannot do much to warrant it. Her husband on the other hand can and has been dragged to Hollywood to play for a rubbishy side for loads of money. Victoria who is neither Posh nor cool will heroically spend it. She’s good at that.
Heidi says
I agree. Hollywood HAS been exposed to all there is of Victoria. If you hold her up to the light, you can see her organs working.
Amy says
“Wesley Snipes, Tyrese Gibson, Matthew Perry, Taye Diggs, Adrian Grenier, Queen Latifah, Alyson Hannigan and Kristen Bell.”
Wow, talk about an A-list crowd, lol. None of these people even rate as tabloid A-list let alone powerbrokers or the elite in Hollywood.
Were Oprah, Spielberg and the real power that be washing their hair? would this be the same crowd at Mapother’s wedding then?
Duncan says
Some A List ============more z list bar a couple.Your last line reminds me of Ali G interviewing them and he asked VB if her little boy has learnt to speak yet,and she said yes Romeo knows about 7 words now..and Ail G spat back..I meant David.!!!!