There are only a few days left until Katie Holmes realises that her efforts to chew through her leg-irons were too little too late, and that a wedding to Tom Cruise will become inevitable – it's just a shame that Oprah couldn't make it to share the love.
Although everything is slowly falling into place ahead of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' wedding – the ostentatious Italian castle has been booked, the ludicrously renowned Italian tenor is warming up his voice, the half-price deal on E-Meter auditing has been struck – one wedding guest will be conspicuous by her absence; Oprah Winfrey, the very woman who set Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes off on their crazy ride together in the first place. Not that Oprah Winfrey is feeling bitter from the wedding invite snub, though – the Oprah Winfrey Everybody Gets A 'Look At Me I'm Tom Cruise & I'm Too Much Of A Spaz To Invite Oprah To His Poncey Shitting Wedding' Facemask episode was in the pipeline way before this news broke.
Saturday will see the long-awaited Tom Cruise/ Katie Holmes wedding take place near Rome take place, and everything seems to be going exactly as planned. Katie Holmes has her wedding dress and Andrea Bocelli has been hired to serenade her, while Tom Cruise has been busily practising pulling his sincere face into a mirror for the last three weeks and trying to squeeze the line "Plus all women don't actually hate you" into Katie's vows. But, on such a happy occasion such as their wedding, maybe Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes should be thinking back to how their love affair started in the first place.
You see, before all the fripperies of the relationship between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes – like the Paris proposal and the confusing pregnancy and the silent birth and the eventual unveiling of Suri Cruise, plus all the piano handstands and David Beckham biopic-talk that you'd expect – started becoming commonplace, there was Oprah Winfrey. When Tom Cruise decided that jumping all over Oprah's couch on TV was an appropriate way for a man in his 40s to display his love for a girl, he didn't just lay the foundations for one of Hollywood's weirdest relationships, but he also set Oprah Winfrey up as the woman to go to for celebrities who want to blame the media for adopting boys in a slapdash way or call the public "insane bull-eaters."
All this means that you'd expect Oprah Winfrey to be the first name on the Tom Cruise/ Katie Holmes wedding list, right? Wrong – Oprah Winfrey wasn't invited to Tom Cruise's wedding, and she explained why during a segment of Extra:
"It's not that I'm not going. It's that they had a limited number of people that they could invite. I was not one of the invitees. That's fine. I don't get invited to everyone's wedding. I don't invite them to everything I do. But I wish them the best. I have a great deal of regard for their relationship and so I'm trying to think of what to get them… I was thinking … I'm easier (to shop for) – you can get me a bubble bath I'm okay – but I don't know what to give them."
Yeah yeah yeah, Oprah Winfrey can dress it up as nice as she wants, but deep down she knows that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes just didn't want her at their wedding. All this stuff about having a limited number of invites sounds like rubbish too – Tom and Katie are getting married in a massive Italian castle, for god's sake. Oprah Winfrey should just face facts and see this as what it is – a snub. Of course, it's Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes who we should be worried about – look what a shitty fit Oprah Winfrey threw last time someone snubbed her. Maybe Tom and Katie should find a nice quiet safehouse for their honeymoon.
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WHY says
What does she expect? She was all over him before the couch jumping happened and then after that incident she was not nice to him when she was interviewed about him.
AgentOrange says
Oprah would only jinx it – and they need every break they can get!
Vonshelia Forest says
I feel its ok if she’s not invited, of all the wedding and receptions that she’s been to, (which most of them don’t last long anyway) I think she really should feel anything, like she
said maybe it was a limited of invites, OH WELL believe me she could find something more exciting to do then to go to a marriage thats not going to last long anyway.
Clearsky54 says
First off, if Tom & Katie don’t want to invite Oprah, that’s the end of the story. Second, why does hecklerspray care enough to spin this drivel into an article?
Liz says
If they don’t feel like inviting Oprah, who the hell cares. Why should she attend anyway, its not that of a big deal and besides, its a fantasy which they’re chasing and soon they’ll come back to reality. There is really no need in wasting Oprah’s precious time to attend a marriage that will not even last.