It might just be us, but we get the feeling that David and Victoria Beckham want to be famous in America so badly that we're a little bit embarrassed for them, especially after seeing them cavorting nearly nude in July's W magazine.
To further their impact on the consciousness of the world, David Beckham and his lovely wife Victoria have decided to whore themselves out any old way they can – David Beckham's got a TV show, Victoria Beckham's got a TV show and now they can both be seen titting about in a 'steamy' W magazine photo-spread in the vain hope that it'll make enough paparazzi follow them about for them to be able to bitterly complain about press intrusion soon. But this is just step one of the Beckhams' plan for world domination – it's thought that after this sexy photoshoot, either David or Victoria Beckham will get a proper job to help people understand why they're actually famous.
Between the two of them, David and Victoria Beckham have conquered the world. In the UK everyone wants to smell like David Beckham. In Europe everyone wants to have sex with David Beckham. In Asia, everyone wants David Beckham to be in a load of rubbish TV adverts. But what about America?
Well, in America Brand Beckham is floundering somewhat. There may be wax sculptures of David and Victoria Beckham in America, and the couple may have famous friends like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and Angelina Jolie's little boy, but that still doesn't mean that the average American knows, or cares, who David and Victoria Beckham actually are. Still, if they get their way, David and Victoria Beckham are going to be the most famous people in all of America before long. That's why David Beckham joined LA Galaxy, that's why Victoria Beckham allowed some pigs to chase her around for a TV show she's going to be in and it's why David Beckham got a TV show. Fame might be the reason why the Beckhams spent £250,000 on a wardrobe too, although we'd imagine that had more to do with outright stupidity.
More importantly, it's why David and Victoria Beckham have posed for the cover of this month's W magazine in hardly any clothes – and even less clothes on the inside. While we imagine that all the pictures of David and Victoria Beckham in W magazine are to fill up the space left by an absence of any sort of interesting quotes either of them made, they've also gone some way to adding to the Beckham publicity machine. Not only that, but the W magazine interview with the Beckhams offers an invaluable insight into how David and Victoria Beckham get along, as Fox reports:
"I think people are really going to see me for the first time," Victoria Beckham tells the magazine. "I think they have this impression that I'm this miserable cow who doesn't smile. But I'm actually quite the opposite."… "I've always had a liking toward clothes, but when I met Victoria, she directed me in the right way," [David] says. "When she tells me something doesn't look good, I believe her. We have a connection that way."
It's clothes! Clothes are the reason why David and Victoria Beckham get along so well. However, we can't quite believe David Beckham's last quote, because if Victoria Beckham knew what looked good, she wouldn't have let him go to the Princess Diana concert with bright white hair and a black beard a couple of weeks ago.
But, still, although we'd imagine that the American people will be turned off by David and Victoria Beckham's relentless try-hard desire to get themselves noticed, a small part of us would like to see the W magazine tactic work out for them. Anything that gets them off our hands is OK by us.
Read more:
David and Victoria Beckham Appear In Sexy Photos In The Latest Issue Of W Magazine – Fox
Gilbert Wham says
An intelligent wardrobe is likely to have an IQ an order of magnitude higher than either of these two. By all means, take ’em America. It’ll go some way towards redress for that nasty revolution business…
Viking Lumberjack says
“I’ve always had a liking toward clothes, but when I met Victoria, she directed me in the right way,” he says. “When she tells me something doesn’t look good, I believe her. We have a connection that way.”
That’s absolutely delightful. She’s married a Ken doll. But as we all know, Ken ended up being gay and having a pelvic bulge but no actual penis (figure THAT one out), so Barbie cheated on him with some Australian surfer. Is this David Beckham’s fate? Is he doomed to be dressed by his wife, have no wang, and eventually get cheated on and left by a plastic and rubber doll with hair highlights and a cute accent?
One can only hope.
Vicky says
Victoria has just been quoted as saying ‘rumours’ of the affair made their marraige stronger!! Sadly they were not rumours as the world knows but she will not leave him ‘cos she needs the dosh. Who else would spend that amount on a wardrobe if they had half a brain?
jadey babii says
I love posh and becks lol x x x x x x x x
Roshni says
i think every1 should just leave her alone! just becoz she likes to look nice when shes out that doesnt make her a bad person! the press should just let her live her life how she wants without judging her all the time! i love her style and even if she does like to look nice i see her with her family and especially her kids the most out of any other celebrity! atleast she is there with them instead of shuvving them onto sum stranger nanny!