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Amy Grindhouse

Madonna Endorses ‘Born To Vogue Yourself This Way’, Or Whatever It’s Called

by Amy Grindhouse

Lady Gaga has decided that wearing obnoxious fashion is no longer the key to the number of records sold. It’s better to stick horn-shaped prosthetics to one’s face and shoulders and copy and paste late 80′s pop music. The singer displayed the monster make-over at the Grammy Awards; something that appeared to go largely unnoticed [...]

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Glee Cast Apologise To Lindsay Lohan Entirely Of Their Own Free Will

by Amy Grindhouse

The cast of Glee had water pistols put to their collective heads and now they’ve said sorry to Lindsay Lohan. We kid, of course. No water pistols, plastic spoons, or any other offensive weapons, were used to compel an apology from the cast of the show, after they made some pretty accurate comments about the [...]

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Taylor Momsen Too Busy Applying Eyeshadow To Remain Madonna’s Material Girl

by Amy Grindhouse

Taylor Momsen is no longer the face and eyeshadow of Madonna and her daughter Lourdes Leon’s Material Girl fashion line. For some reason, fashion lines associated with Madonna don’t sell themselves. While we work out why not, and why her 14-year-old daughter wasn’t the first spokesmodel for her own teenage fashion line, we’ll just let [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Is No Longer Addicted To Anything Fun; Is No Longer Fun.

by Amy Grindhouse

Lindsay Lohan is no longer an addict of anything. We’d speculated that she’d become addicted to ‘buttons of the chocolate’. Alas, no dice. She’s no longer an addict of anything remotely fun. Nor of anything illegal. Says her father, who’d never lie about that. Never! Michael Lohan has been speaking to media outlets, who aren’t [...]

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Kanye West Is The Kim Kardashian Of Rap Music. Oh Good.

by Amy Grindhouse

Kanye West staged something, probably on a slow news day, in order to generate column inches for his album. Colour the people of this gossip-generating machine shocked. It has been revealed that Kanye planned the cover controversy surrounding the release of his ‘My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy’ album. And not just in naming it My [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Moves Next Door to Ex-Girlfriend, Samantha Ronson

by Amy Grindhouse

Lindsay Lohan has overcome her addiction to chocolate buttons. She has been in a proper rehabilitation facility, where no chocolate whatsoever is available. She has been abstaining from the hard stuff and, we have it on good authority, she has not touched so much as chocolate milk. She’s cured! And by ‘cured’, we mean she’s [...]

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Nicole Kidman Adopted Some Kids. With Some Bloke. Maybe. Who Even Remembers?

by Amy Grindhouse

Nicole Kidman is a mother – something that’s only really brought up when she’s on the promotional trail. We’re not parents of anyone, mind you. We’re only just competent enough to look after the hecklerspray house gerbil, and we don’t think it’s wise to make a leap to a house baby kept in the gerbil’s [...]

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Paris Hilton Was Too Busy, Or Too Important, Or Too Unimportant, Maybe, To Attend Nicole Richie’s Wedding

by Amy Grindhouse

Paris Hilton had been best friends with Nicole Richie since the age of two – and yet did not attend the wedding of she and Joel Madden. Was Paris dying, finally, of some horrid communicable disease? Was she otherwise busy finding the cure for her inevitable bevy of STDs? Was she washing her hair? Was [...]

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Keep A Child Alive Celebrities Are Finally Allowed Back on Twitter, Thank Heavens For That!

by Amy Grindhouse

Thank Heavens an incongruous group of self-publicising celebrities are finally allowed back on Twitter and Facebook, to shill products in messages that are really ads – thank you, Khloe Kardashian. The stars in question are some of Twitter and Facebook’s most prolific, including Kardashian sisters Kim and Khloe, Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Seacrest, and [...]

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The Kardashian Sisters Aren’t Just Soulless Shill Machines

by Amy Grindhouse

We lied somewhere in the middle of that headline there. The Kardashian sisters – Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe – are soulless. The three eldest sisters in the Kardashian/Jenner family will mercilessly shill any product for which the marketing team come equipped with a chequebook and sufficient pen ink; lending their names to everything from workout [...]

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