The Grammys have witnessed a fair amount of crazy popstar shenanigans over the years: think of Chris Brown blatting then-girlfriend Rihanna’s face in with his tiny fists (2009); and Jennifer Lopez shooting to fame by wearing a boob-enhancing dress in 2000.
But this year’s Grammy ceremony has delivered surely the maddest nonsense ever, with pop minstrel Lady Gaga showing up to the awards inside a giant egg. Unconfirmed reports claim she poached the idea from Madonna.
Yes, it’s her again. Just days after releasing her controversially Madonnaesque new single, the lunatic “lady”? has now delivered unto us a quite astonishing display of eggcentric behaviour.
Known for her showstopping entrances, Gaga arrived at the Grammys yesterday stuffed inside a giant plastic egg, sat atop a wooden plinth which was being lugged around on the shoulders of several barely-dressed buff men.
The eggshibitionist Gaga was then placed on stage – still trapped within the synthetic ovum – before bursting free to the catchy disco sounds of her new single ‘Born This Way’.? At this point, we suspect, Graham Norton‘s head blew open, showering those around him in glitter and rainbows.
So, another media-grabbing victory for the eggocentric Lady Gaga. We were a little disappointed that she didn’t emerge from the egg dripping with albumen, but still: good job. But how to top this spectacular eggstravaganza? What can she do next to shock us all? We have three ideas for how her next appearance should play out:
1) At the next Lady Gaga concert, fans are puzzled when an elephant walks ponderously onto the stage. Then they cheer wildly as – caught in the beams of a thousand spotlights -? the elephant coughs slightly, gags a little, and eventually pukes out Lady Gaga, dressed as a giant banana.
2) At the next Lady Gaga concert, fans are puzzled when an elephant walks ponderously onto the stage. Then they cheer wildly as – caught in the beams of a thousand spotlights – the elephant raises its tail and shits out Lady Gaga, dressed as a giant, partially digested banana.
3) At the next Lady Gaga concert, she strides onstage confidently naked. The audience gasp as she births a slightly smaller Lady Gaga from out of her ladypipe. And then the smaller Lady Gaga births an even tinier Lady Gaga. And so on and so on, like Russian dolls, until the stage is filled with a hundred Gagas.
You, Miss Gaga, are welcome.
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Cookie Monster says
This post gave me one hell of a laugh. I would pay good, hard-earned – but not much – money to see the GaGa pooped from a frightened elephant. That made my day, or at least five minutes of it and the odd out-of-nowhere follow-up giggle over the next few hours.