Dina Lohan has finally admitted that her daughter, Lindsay Lohan, is an addict. We were excited to learn this, as we’re on pretty hard stuff too. Our weight in chocolate buttons, every time we get the hecklerspray house groceries in.
Giving up is hard to do. Lindsay’s an addict too. She’s not addicted to anything fun, though. She’s in rehab for cocaine. Which is probably less tasty and more deadly than delicious chocolate. At least that means more sweets for us.
While we rip into this unopened pack of melty goodness, we need to update you on all things Lohan. As the entire clan has been acting more cracked-out than usual, in recent weeks.
Lindsay is currently in her umpteenth rehab facility, pretending she’s getting better. One day at a time. And she’s taking shopping day trips, away from the Betty Ford Clinic, with money she ‘doesn’t have’. Because when your addictions are cocaine, amphetamines, and Twitter, there is no room left for healing that doesn’t involve retail therapy.
At the clinic, Lindsay has spent time in family sessions, with Dina, dealing with ‘the codependency’. And Lindsay reunited with her father, Michael Lohan. Who has been less of an attention whore than her mother, this week.
Dina, amusingly, seems loathe to parent in person. She prefers to do hers while on television. Which must be the celebrity equivalent of leaving your kinds in front of Non-descript/ Interchangeable Characters In Assorted Primary Colours, all day long.
She went on The Today Show this week to talk about Lindsay’s recovery. We learnt nothing of substance; Dina likes superlatives and has no clue whether Lindsay really hates cocaine now.
After talking about how ‘amazing’ and ‘life-changing’ Betty Ford was, and how ‘happy, relaxed’ and ‘different’ Lindsay was, Dina ran out of adjectives. So she strung this sentence together, hoping no one would still be watching.
Can Dina admit Lindsay is an addict? ?Yes. When I first came to her initially, you know, that was for Lindsay to admit? I put her in rehab when she was 19. It wasn?t for me, as a mother, to come to the world and – I mean, how many viewers do you have? – about her problem, that was for her do. I wasn?t in denial by far, but I think it was for her to come to her own [conclusion].?
She punctuated that point with another. More terrifying than the last.
Will this rehab break Lindsay’s addictions? “We?ll take it one day at a time. I don't have a crystal ball. I pray hard and she wants to start her own facilities, help other children. She's so public, we can only be positive and look to the future to help other families.?
Other people’s children are going to be weaned off coke, by switching their stash for Mean Girls DVDs? Lindsay wants to open her own rehabs? Was that a threat? We can’t even tell any more.
This was a guest post by Amy Grindhouse, so hooray for that.
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tazer says
Man she needs to switch to heroin much easier on the health and to maintain a healthier and much more pleasant and relaxed addiction, I never understood why people rather choose to tweek themselves out on coke and come down every half hour.