Jessica Simpson is good at sex. Better than good. She’s amazing at sex. She is, according to John Mayer, sexual napalm.
What’s sexual napalm? The truth is, we just don’t know. We imagine it means that Jessica Simpson’s vagina can cause severe burns, and that anybody within 100 feet of Jessica Simpson when she has sex runs the risk of dying from heat stroke, dehydration, suffocation or smoke inhalation. The trail of Jessica Simpson’s sexual partners, all of whom are now withered Bombenbrandschrumpfleichen-stricken carcasses, are a testament to this.
But anyway, Jessica Simpson is good at sex. And, as she’s told Oprah Winfrey, she wishes that people would shut up about it.