We know that some all of our readers are unhinged enough to?believe that the Land of Soaps is actually a real place, filled with real people who face real problems every day and as we’re really quite?mischievous we’ll play along with this batshitcrazy idea.
Besides, we’ve got nothing else to do since Sophie Hall put her giant foot through our telly when Gary Barlow didn’t wear the gloves she knitted for him on X-Factor this week.
Off we go to Eastenders where Darren, once voted ‘Most unlikely to ever get laid’ by everyone with working eyes wakes up nestled in the fringe of Lauren who’s probably still drunk from the night before.