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Strictly Come Dancing

Strictly Come Dancing: Robbie’s Cock Takes Over

by Jacki Evans

Ah, the Strictly Come Dancing Halloween special. The BBC’s annual chance to horrify the entire nation with overly made-up celebrities, horribly acted VTs and Craig Whatsit-Thingy taking part in the most obvious joke of all time and flying into the studio on a broomstick. October just wouldn’t be the same without it. But this year [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing: James Jordan Looks Like a Knob

by Jacki Evans

Ah, reality TV. Don’t you just love it? With its endless orchestrated arguments and the potential to watch celebrities make total and utter knobs of themselves, it’s one of the wonders of the modern age. And this week, Strictly lived up to all its monstrous reality to potential. Yes, after last week’s Broadway show, this [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing: Save Russell Grant!

by Jacki Evans

Thanks to the joys of BBC budget cuts and misguided enthusiasm, this week was False Advertising Week on Strictly Come Dancing. The show claimed to be “going to Broadway”, but as the BBC has an annual budget of about 17p and they clearly can’t actually be arsed to fly a load of idiot celebrities to [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing, Or: The Nancy Dell’Olio Show!

by Jacki Evans

After last week’s prancing about for no real reason, this week Strictly is gaining some tiny, pathetic little morsel of a purporse in this meaningless world. Yes, this week on Strictly, they remembered that it’s a competition and got round to actually throwing someone off. Before they got dancing though, Bruce had to do an [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing: Murder, Sequins and Jason Donovan

by Jacki Evans

A few weeks ago, Strictly came back, with a lovely bunch of has-been celebs ready to don the sequins and sexually assault professional dancers on live television. You might’ve forgotten this, because they all had to sod off for six weeks and attempt to learn how to dance. Which really, is missing a trick. They [...]

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BBC To Sue Italians For Making Obviously Superior Porn Version Of Strictly Come Dancing

by Mof Gimmers

Have you ever watched Strictly Come Dancing? It’s a terrible programme that actually encourages witless celebrities to cavort around a dancefloor with all the guile and grace of a mule being dragged down three flights of stairs by a Mini Metro. Not only that, it’s the show that willingly shoves Bruce Forsyth out, bewildered and [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing: The Sex-Pesting Begins

by Jacki Evans

Just in case the return of the X Factor had left you in any doubt as to what season it is, the gods of reality TV have decided to point out to us all that it is September, and therefore it is Christmas. And they’ve done this through the medium of celebrities in sequins grinding [...]

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Badvertising: A Situation Situated Between Bristol Palin And The Situation

by Kris Silver

Poor old Bristol Palin, she’s got a shotgun wielding nutcase of a mother, had a child with a man who has neck so red that it can’t be seen by the naked eye and, unbelievably, she failed to win some shoddy yank spin-off of Strictly Come Dancing. In what can only be seen as an [...]

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Gavin Henson Invokes Images Of Lycra-Clad Penis: Nation Feels Uneasy

by Justrestingmyeyes

You put lipstick on a pig, and it’s still a pig, said sainted Lord and Saviour of our Times Barack Obama, not in any way referring to whoever that insane moose-hater was that made the US election so entertaining and terrifying. In other words, you can’t polish a turd, although why you’d want a shiny, [...]

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Strictly Come Dancing: Meet This Year’s Gasping Nonentities

by Stuart Heritage

Strictly Come Dancing or X Factor? It’s a question that’s divided the nation. You have to prefer one. You have to. Even though deep down you realise that they’re both a bit insultingly crap. Anyway, if you prefer Strictly Come Dancing, today is your lucky day – the list of celebrity participants for this year’s [...]

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