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Is Kim Kardashian’s Entirely Pointless Marriage Over Already? (Or: We Warned You About This Tripe)

by Mof Gimmers

What do you do when you’ve got no discernible talent? Well, if you’re lucky enough to be deemed attractive enough or, indeed, considered to be someone with a vague something to lose after a sex tape, you can forge something of a career out of very little. However, if you’re savvy enough, you’ll constantly remind [...]

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Kim Kardashian Vaguely Understands Human Gestation Period

by Mof Gimmers

We all fell to our knees and cried all the bones out of our bodies with tragic joy when Kim Kardashian married some stupid American sportsman we’ve never, ever heard of. We got told his name and forgot it immediately. He sweats for a living and says “110%” without any sense of irony or something. [...]

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Kim Kardashian And Kris Humphries Are Splitting Up With Yawning Inevitability

by Mof Gimmers

You may have looked at Kim Kardashian’s wedding to Kris Humphries and thought to yourself; ‘Cor. This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Real love can truly blossom, despite a history of leaked sex tapes and buttock implants.’ You may have thought that because you’re pretty dim. See, we told you ages ago [...]

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The “Embarrassment And Shame” Of Kim Kardashian’s £18m Sex Tape

by Mof Gimmers

Kim Kardashian must love and loathe that sex tape of hers. Without it, we would have never heard of her, leaving her to be a mere ‘debutante’, rather than a ‘celebutante’. Now, she’ll tell you she has lots to give with her myriad of talents… but alas, it’s getting boned on film by Brandy’s brother [...]

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Who Wants To See Kim Kardashian’s Awful Leaked Pop Video Complete With Incontinence Pants?

by Mof Gimmers

Remember Kim Kardashian releasing a record called ‘Jam (Turn It Up)’? Of course you don’t. No-one bought the thing, apart from a dozen post-modern women who thought it was a sexy document of boiling your own stupid homemade jam which no-one gives two shits about. The record didn’t bother the charts and quietly sloped away [...]

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Affairs, Murder And Things To Look Out For Now That Kim Kardashian Is Married

by Mof Gimmers

Amazing scenes. Truly amazing scenes. What? You didn’t know that Kim Kardashian had finally put the flourishing touches on her sham of a relationship with hoop botherer Kris Humphries by actually marrying him at a ‘bash’ that was invariably ‘lavish’? Have you been living in some kind of ‘I’ve got better things to do, sorry’ [...]

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Here’s What Will Go Wrong At Kim Kardashian’s Wedding [video]

by Mof Gimmers

Kim Kardashian is getting married or something and of course, like all awful brides, she’ll be planning everything in such detail that it couldn’t ever hope to go as she plans. Which is good, because that’s an allegory for marriage itself or some hokey fluff like that. She’s getting married to some berk called Kris [...]

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Kim Kardashian Has Lizard Skin And Therefore, Is Down With Bilderberg Illuminati

by Mof Gimmers

Kim Kardashian is obviously a member of the illumianti and down with the Bilderberg lot. Why? Well, how else could you explain her fame which is coupled with a complete absence of talent? If that’s the case, she’s really a lizard woman posing as one of us humans? Basically, that’s exactly what is happening here [...]

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Khloé Kardashian’s Husband Kills Someone With The Miracle Of The Butterfly Effect (Which Isn’t Funny)

by Mof Gimmers

You know Khloé Kardashian right? She’s the one who got her boob out on TV. She’s the one who makes us angry because we have to put an accent on her name. She’s the… uh… she’s one of the Kardashians. Those guys. The identical rich women who totter around doing… uh… y’know… famous shit. So [...]

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Kim Kardashian To Have Embarrassing Penis Party According To One Of Her Sisters

by Mof Gimmers

Kim Kardashian, the only woman on Earth who can feasibly save us all from ourselves thanks to her amazing charm, wit and intellect, is getting married to some bozo called Kris Humphries. Naturally, us mere mortals are thrilled at the prospect of a wealthy woman doing something that not-wealthy people do all the stinkin’ time. [...]

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