We all fell to our knees and cried all the bones out of our bodies with tragic joy when Kim Kardashian married some stupid American sportsman we’ve never, ever heard of. We got told his name and forgot it immediately.
He sweats for a living and says “110%” without any sense of irony or something.
Anyway, because they’ve both got working reproductive organs, they’re already bored of each other’s company and are eyeing up getting a baby in the house for much needed distraction from their clawing banality. And the best bit is, Kim K – sex-taped and reality starred – understands how long this will all take. Kinda.
Kimmy Jong Kardashian is speaking with her mouth and saying she’s ready for some intelligent conversation and so, wants a gurgling child to talk at.
And now she’s put a specific timeframe on the project!
She said:
“I think we want to figure out where he’s going to play an where we’re going to live [first].”
“Give us a year.”
See, normal humans take around 9 months to have a baby, so it’s good that Kimly Kardoodleton understands that she can’t have a baby, like, now.
Unless she steals one from outside Mothercare.
Hopefully, we won’t get to see Kim and her no-mark meat-brained husband actually trying to make the baby itself. Gawd knows we’ll never quite get over seeing Ray J air-humping beside a bored looking Kardashian in that not-intentionally-leaked-at-all sex tape.
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