Articles tagged with: Kerry Katona
Kerry Katona Porn Is A Tragic Possibility
There are millions of disgusting things that make us want to vomit into our bowler hats. For example, scraping dog poo off a shoe after accidentally stepping in a big steaming pile usually makes lunch's burrito want to reappear. Other unpleasant spectacles that we’d rather forget involve watching Kerry Katona giving birth on MTV, Kerry Katona getting her boobs inflated to a bigger size on MTV and hearing Kerry Katona in general on MTV. Now there’s a distinct chance there’s some non-arousing Kerry Katona porn doing the rounds. Probably not on MTV.
There are millions of disgusting things that make us want to vomit into our bowler hats. For example, scraping dog poo off a shoe after accidentally stepping in a big steaming pile usually makes lunch's burrito want to reappear. Other unpleasant spectacles that we’d rather forget involve watching Kerry Katona giving birth on MTV, Kerry Katona getting her boobs inflated to a bigger size on MTV and hearing Kerry Katona in general on MTV. Now there’s a distinct chance there’s some non-arousing Kerry Katona porn doing the rounds. Probably not on MTV.
The Spray Q&A: Frankie Boyle
We caught up with Frankie Boyle - the Scottish one from Mock The Week who recently had a joke about the Queen's genitals read out on Newsnight - for an impromptu question and answer session... How did it feel winning the best director Oscar for Slumdog Millionaire? I’ve met Danny Boyle actually. He has a glowing niceness that extremely successful people have. It’d be nice to get there... At what temperature does Frankie boil? I’m pale and Scottish so I’d say around 20 degrees. Do you believe that chivalry is dead? Not with me. Particularly with women. I am always rescuing women in distress and Serbian sex traders. The sex is good.
We caught up with Frankie Boyle - the Scottish one from Mock The Week who recently had a joke about the Queen's genitals read out on Newsnight - for an impromptu question and answer session... How did it feel winning the best director Oscar for Slumdog Millionaire? I’ve met Danny Boyle actually. He has a glowing niceness that extremely successful people have. It’d be nice to get there... At what temperature does Frankie boil? I’m pale and Scottish so I’d say around 20 degrees. Do you believe that chivalry is dead? Not with me. Particularly with women. I am always rescuing women in distress and Serbian sex traders. The sex is good.
Four Horrendous Popstar Decision Makers
It must be excellent being part of a successful young pop group. You get to travel the world, stopping occasionally to jump around on stage, then, in the evening, you can wile away the hours brainlessly passing groupies around, necking gin. You don't have to think for yourself, which makes certain popstar decisions near impossible to understand. Below are four maniacs who decided to brave the world on their own, only to realise that they'd probably just made a massive mistake...
It must be excellent being part of a successful young pop group. You get to travel the world, stopping occasionally to jump around on stage, then, in the evening, you can wile away the hours brainlessly passing groupies around, necking gin. You don't have to think for yourself, which makes certain popstar decisions near impossible to understand. Below are four maniacs who decided to brave the world on their own, only to realise that they'd probably just made a massive mistake...
Kerry Katona Wants To Howl Again
She's been filmed giving birth and having her boobs hacked open, but now Kerry Katona is planning something even more horrifying. We've saved this post until late in the day because we're genuinely worried that, if you read it in the morning, it'd be too much to bear and you'd end up fatally attacking yourself in the face with the nearest piece of office equipment. So, now that we can only ruin a small part of the rest of your day, here goes. Kerry Katona wants to relaunch her singing career. We know, it makes us want to cry too.
She's been filmed giving birth and having her boobs hacked open, but now Kerry Katona is planning something even more horrifying. We've saved this post until late in the day because we're genuinely worried that, if you read it in the morning, it'd be too much to bear and you'd end up fatally attacking yourself in the face with the nearest piece of office equipment. So, now that we can only ruin a small part of the rest of your day, here goes. Kerry Katona wants to relaunch her singing career. We know, it makes us want to cry too.
WEBTHUMP! Thursday 13 November 2008
10 - An old video, we know, but Guitar Hero 4 comes out tomorrow. We will, therefore, be spending our weekend trying our best to mimic this genius... 9 - More from Lil' O'Reilly - Comedy 8 - The new 24 prequel movie is on TV! Really soon! Gree! - ...
Kerry Katona Admits That She’s A Total Pisshead
At one point, we believed that scientists only experimented on animals. For whatever reason, a gang of mice would be rounded up in a lab 20 miles under the surface of the earth and then injected with all sorts of things. Sometimes they grew tusks like elephants or, in stranger cases, developed an unhealthy appetite for Mars bars and bottles of Blue Nun. Slowly though, we're coming to the conclusion that humans are also being used for experimentation. Don’t believe us? Then look at everybody’s low-budget supermarket endorser Kerry Katona for proof. If she is an example of a normal woman then we really should be stocking up on frozen prawn rings and hiding in a nuclear bunker. But fear not. It turns out that some of Kerry’s mental behaviour can all be explained by all the alcohol she shoves down her gob.
At one point, we believed that scientists only experimented on animals. For whatever reason, a gang of mice would be rounded up in a lab 20 miles under the surface of the earth and then injected with all sorts of things. Sometimes they grew tusks like elephants or, in stranger cases, developed an unhealthy appetite for Mars bars and bottles of Blue Nun. Slowly though, we're coming to the conclusion that humans are also being used for experimentation. Don’t believe us? Then look at everybody’s low-budget supermarket endorser Kerry Katona for proof. If she is an example of a normal woman then we really should be stocking up on frozen prawn rings and hiding in a nuclear bunker. But fear not. It turns out that some of Kerry’s mental behaviour can all be explained by all the alcohol she shoves down her gob.
Kerry Katona Slags Off Angelina Jolie, Renders Satire Obsolete
Kerry Katona's shambolic, slurring appearance on This Morning yesterday was car-crash TV at its finest - a moment we thought couldn't be topped. But there's a chance we were wrong. Because on the exact same day that World's Worst Mum 2007 Kerry Katona decided to go on a daytime TV show and babble a string of passive-aggressive drunk-seeming non-words at a startled fat lady and a pixie, a magazine published an interview where Kerry Katona criticises the parenting skills of Angelina Jolie. What made Kerry Katona angry was the fact that Angelina Jolie recently bought her six-year-old son a knife. Obviously that's something that Kerry Katona would never do. True, that's because Kerry Katona is so busy being followed around by MTV camera crews, looking hammered and wailing "AHWOZZZUNOLIDEEEH!" at nobody in particular that she probably doesn't know where her kids are, let alone a knife shop. But that counts.
Kerry Katona's shambolic, slurring appearance on This Morning yesterday was car-crash TV at its finest - a moment we thought couldn't be topped. But there's a chance we were wrong. Because on the exact same day that World's Worst Mum 2007 Kerry Katona decided to go on a daytime TV show and babble a string of passive-aggressive drunk-seeming non-words at a startled fat lady and a pixie, a magazine published an interview where Kerry Katona criticises the parenting skills of Angelina Jolie. What made Kerry Katona angry was the fact that Angelina Jolie recently bought her six-year-old son a knife. Obviously that's something that Kerry Katona would never do. True, that's because Kerry Katona is so busy being followed around by MTV camera crews, looking hammered and wailing "AHWOZZZUNOLIDEEEH!" at nobody in particular that she probably doesn't know where her kids are, let alone a knife shop. But that counts.
VIDEO: Here’s Kerry Katona Losing Her Mind On Live TV. Eek.
Now that Britney Spears has grown her hair back and Amy Winehouse has stopped going outside, there just aren't the harrowing meltdown victims that there used to be. So thank heavens above that good old Kerry Katona is still around, plugging away with her smoking during pregnancy and her grotty-looking husband and her million kids and ...
