The celebrity world looks glamorous from the outside, but once you’re in it, it’s a world that stinks of too-much-coffee, Malboro lights and the body odour of frantic personal assistants desperately trying to smooth over the egos of ‘the talent’ like a cleaner trying to stamp a dead-body flat under a living room rug.
One woman is repeatedly flinging the doors open with more frequency to show us just how grim the inner-workings of SlebWorld really is. Thank you, Kerry Katona.
She’s gone from wired performances on the This Morning couch, to being secretly filmed with a suspicious looking bag of powder on her toilet bowl, to generally falling face first into various hard surfaces whilst desperately clinging on to anyone who might pay her money for something.
As it’s all gone a bit south for Katona, she’s planning to use her upcoming 30th birthday party to relaunch her career. Now, this should mean that she throws an extravagant bash with famous singers and footballers in tow, with tabloid reports muttering excitedly about how much money she’s spent on the whole thing.
Instead, she’s showing her workings-out on the page, leaving us to become thoroughly depressed at the state of fame clutchery.
It’s claimed that Katona has bought a revealing dress (check!) to get in the papers and, with any luck she won’t look like a written-off car with a bow wrapped ’round it.
She’s also been ordered to invite celebrities (check!) along and that she’s to impress them. It doesn’t matter if she knows them or is friends with them. She just needs to be seen to be around them.
This is all because she’s looking down the barrel of a P45 gun. Yep, her agency is allegedly thinking about ditching her because… and here’s more depressing insight… she’s received no interest from supermarkets approaching her with potential deals.
That’s it. She’s merely a thing to hang around supermarkets asking for change.
A source says:
“A lot of companies are turning Kerry down because they don’t think she’s right for their image. Kerry has been told that she needs to start making friends with some A-list celebs.”
There you have it. The formula for getting noticed and staying in some bullshit currency. Ultimate Big Brother contestants, take note. Sadly for our Kerry, the threat of a leaked sex-tape holds no value as there appears to already be one doing the works online for years.
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