Do you ever get the feeling that popular TV has been taken over by aliens? There's something about how smooth and emotionless they are.
Look at them, pretending to be human, all the while being unable to make any recognisable facial expression, their taut, stretched skin weirdly aligned over their rough facsimile of human bone structure. Weird isn't it? No, not really. I'm not an idiot; it's all botox and ill-advised plastic surgery. Apart from that Fearne Cotton, she is clearly one of the lizard rulers from the lower levels of fourth dimensional space that David Icke is always banging on about.
Anyway, we all know that people on TV are botoxed up the wazoo, but one of the old members of Atomic Kitten has found a fun new place to inject that precious, precious fluid. Somewhere you might not expect (unless you have a particularly filthy mind, which, to be fair you probably do). Find out after the jump.
It's her armpits apparently. Sorry if you were expecting something more ?vagina-y? but this is a family website you know. Anyway: armpits. That's still weird, right? Weird enough to write about 500 words about? ?Not really? Oh, god, now I've made you angry for wasting your time clicking the link. I'm sorry, please stop crying. We?ll get through this as quick as possible, I promise.
Anyway, Now Magazine rolls its eyes and spits out these words:
The former Atomic Kitten star, 29, says the injection prevents her from perspiring. ‘I actually got some in my armpits to stop me sweating,’ Liz told This Morning.'[While there] I went: ?Oh, just pop a bit in my forehead as well’ and it’s absolutely brilliant.
Oh come on, you remember Atomic Kitten? They were the ones who were basically the Ship of Theseus of the Pop World, before the current revolving door employment program that is the Sugababes came into existence. Remember? They?re the ones that set eyes on Kerry Katona and thought ?that looks like a stable and undoubtedly productive member of society that in no way will go batshit crazy in a couple of years and appear on This Morning looking like the oldest, tiredest member of a hen night after the pubs have shut in Blackpool?. Those guys?
Still nothing? Anyway, it probably doesn't matter. One of the girls who used to be in that, but now untroubles the nations? eyes, apparently gets sweaty enough for minor surgical treatment to prevent her from getting sweat patches when she's working at, I dunno, the local chippy or whatever.
Yes, we all know it's a pointless story. But look on the bright side – you can at now regale people down the pub with your knowledge of ex-popstar-sweat-patch-botox-armpit-disasters though, right? That's got to be worth something.
Cat says
Famous ladies have been doing that for ages. Usually before things like the Oscars so they don’t wind up on every front page from here to China for having pit stains.
Tom J says
If only someone would invent deodorant to save these women from the pain and expense of requiring surgical intervention every time they need to go out somewhere.