Christmas is a time for families to come together, drink copious amounts of alcohol and eat sweets all day without feeling guilty. Oh, and remember the birth of Jesus H. Christ our Lord and saviour. Come Boxing Day, everyone suddenly realises they’re half a stone heavier than they should be and they need to lose the flab.
Time to dust off that gym membership and hit the treadmill early? No, all we need is an unqualified famous person to educate us via the medium of DVD.
Hooray for Kerry Katona, the woman who has clawed her way back from celebrity abyss to once again annoy the living heck out of us. Her Real Fitness DVD is due to hit shops at the end of December. How disappointing it won't be in our stocking on Christmas Day. Our Yule is ruined.
If we were genius marketing types, then we?d cash-in by flogging the DVD during the Christmas period which is when all comedians and tinpot celebrities release stuff. Oddly, December 27th is when this bugger is coming out.
Kerry said:
“I’m delighted to be releasing this fitness DVD. I have struggled with my weight over the last few years but this year I have stayed totally focused on maintaining a healthy body and mind.?
We?d like to point out that when Kerry Katona was previously unhappy with her body, exercise and salads weren't on the top of her list. Instead, she was hacked open by a surgeon who sucked out litres of fat from her. Subsequently, she then did a shoot for a lad?s mag. We assume that users won't be guaranteed similar results. That's unless the first thousand copies of the DVD come with a free scalpel for DIY surgical fun.
It seems that we're on for an onslaught of Kerry Katona in our lives. Whilst a chain of kebab shops would be the ideal advertising coup for the former Atomic Kitten singer, following her cringe worthy Iceland adverts, food isn't where she's turning to.
Instead, some na?ve production company want us to see the real Kerry Katona. So that?ll be the opposite of the one featured on MTV when she was off her nut on booze, prescription drugs and illegal substances?
ITV2 are certainly keeping in with its decision of filling their dead air space with shit programs with yet another fly on the wall program featuring Katona. Titled ‘Coming Clean’, we assume it'll be her blaming her ex husband Mark Croft.
It's a tried and tested formula with tangerine lookalike Katie Price doing the same in her program as Peter Andre is doing in his. Expect Alex Reid to blag his own if his marriage goes tits up.
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